


Hey Now, We’ll Be Okay

by huangrendery



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Cheating, Drinking, Fluff, Getting Back Together, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Moving On, Musicals, Sad, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 51,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24213004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huangrendery/pseuds/huangrendery
Summary: It’s been three years, Jaemin thought as he looks across him. Standing there, was the person he wouldn’t have imagined to come back after all this time. Am I dreaming?, he thought to himself, looking at the boy in front of him. Petite and beautiful— he looks exactly the same from the last time he saw him. Nothing’s changed about how the other boy looks, does he still feel the same? He thought. Do I still feel the same? He asked himself.Or that AU wherein Jaemin and Renjun are ex lovers from high school. Renjun left after they broke up and after 3 whole years, he came back.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Na Jaemin/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 15
Kudos: 79
Collections: RENMIN FIC FEST: ROUND ONE





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!!!! This is prompt #27
> 
> This is my first time participating in a fic fest and I’m super nervous and excited on how you guys would react to the story.
> 
> To my prompter, hello! I really enjoyed working with your prompt! I hope you enjoy what I had wrote for your idea! I’m sorry if I wasn’t able to put your ideas and imaginations to words suited for your liking huhu :cc I also changed the rating from G to T, just because I included some drinking scenes.
> 
> Italicized texts are Jaemin’s thoughts, dreams, flashbacks, and the like. Hope that clears up any confusion about the format of writing! Enjoy:>>>>
> 
> There are some spoilers in the tag soooo ehe :]
> 
> Also, this wasn’t beta’ed so yeah :]

_ It’s the first day of university and Jaemin’s thoughts are split between being nervous and excited on what’s about to come. Jaemin adjusts his cap and fans himself with his shirt to relieve himself, brought by the heat of August. Jaemin remembers everything from the time he received and opened his acceptance letter from SM University (SMU) - one of the most prestigious universities in the country. From his parents’ happy and excited screams, to his best friend (of practically forever) Chenle, tackling him down while shouting “We both passed!” over and over again.  _

_ Jaemin wishes Chenle was with him today. However, The College of Business and Economics’ opening day isn’t until tomorrow. He recalls what had happened earlier as he prepared. _

_ “Don’t tell me that THE, Na Jaemin, is scared of going alone? To school???” Chenle mocked, earlier during breakfast at their shared apartment. _

_ “You can do this Jaemin,“ Jaemin encourages himself as he slowly approaches the College of Arts building. “It’s just school, no worries.” _

_ Choruses of ‘WELCOME TO SMU!’ are heard as soon as Jaemin stepped into the premises of his college. Quickly, he noticed a line of what he thinks are incoming students, that leads up to a booth by the tree.  _

_ While in line with the students, he feels as though someone has been staring at the back part of his head. Jaemin quickly turns around to check if anyone’s looking at him, but sees no one doing anything of the sorts. _

_ Once it was his turn to register, the boy operating the booth looks up at him for a moment before smiling brightly, “Hi, welcome to SMU!” The boy says enthusiastically. ‘Cute,’ Jaemin thought. _

_ “Is this where the Theatre Arts students register?” _

_ “Oh! This line is actually for the Music majors,” the blonde boy replied. “The line for Performance Arts is the one over there,,” pointing his finger to the other booth. _

_ “Cool, thanks uh—”  _

_ “Dejun, Xiao Dejun” offers his hand for a handshake. Jaemin took it merrily, “Thanks, the name’s Jaemin, Na Jaemin.” _

_ “Hope you enjoy it here at SMU!” _

—————

_ After registering, Jaemin quickly follows the crowd of students into the auditorium for the welcoming orientation of freshmen and transferees. _

_ He takes a seat somewhere at the corner of the auditorium, before the lights dim out, signalling the start of the orientation. _

_ During the course of the orientation, Jaemin, once again feels someone staring right at him. He quickly peers around his surroundings and sees a figure, about 5 seats away looking at him. But because of the dim lights, Jaemin fails to distinguish the figure’s face.  _

_ While waiting for the speaker to finish, Jaemin keeps looking back and forth at the figure, hoping to see their face, however he fails to do so, each time. _

_ The speaker finished his speech, the audience applauded and the lights were then opened. Jaemin whips his head to the figure’s direction and sees the person’s back facing towards him, already ready to leave the auditorium.  _

_ Jaemin quickly follows suit, but has been blocked, by the swarm of students exiting. _

_ “Excuse me,” Jaemin said, as he pushed his way through the crowd of students. _

_ After squeezing his way out of the crowd, he quickly searches for the figure, and sees him walking from a distance. Jaemin hastily treads across in pursuit while he tries to get his attention,  _

_ “Hey!” _

_ The figure does not seem to hear Jaemin’s voice and continues walking inside a building. _

_ Still following the other, Jaemin notices they have entered the cafeteria, and sees the figure near the water station, perhaps refilling his water jug. _

_ Jaemin stalks past the students and once he is close enough, he reaches his hand over the figure’s shoulders. _

_ “Excuse me—” _

_ The figure hastily turns around, but before Jaemin sees the other’s face, the next thing he feels is the splash of cold water directly at him. _

  
  
  


“Shit! What the...” he curses, while inspecting his surroundings. His clothes, bed, sheets and pillows, all soaking wet.

“Hyung, get up!” He sees Chenle say to him, while frantically putting on his clothes. “We’re so gonna be late!” He whines.

“Why did we agree on having the first shifts for the welcoming Org Fair!” 

“Chenle, I’m soaking wet!” Jaemin whines as he pulls at his wet pajamas.

“And I can see that!” The younger snaps back. “I’ve been trying to wake you up for 15 minutes already. Now hurry up and take a shower!” Said Chenle, dragging the other to the bathroom.

“I don’t think I need to anymore,” Jaemin says as he gestures at his wet state.

“Ew, gross— C’mon just hurry!” Chenle replies as he shuts the bathroom door close.

Jaemin tugs the clinging wet material off from his body, before going underneath the spray of water. He is left wondering about the mysterious figure he dreamt about, before he continues showering.

  
  
  


“The orientation is next week, at the College of Arts Auditorium, okay?”

Choruses of ‘Yes Kun sunbaenim’ are heard from the group of students in front of the booth. “Don’t forget, at 3pm!” Kun follows, as the students bid goodbye.

“Kun gege! Oh my gosh we’re so sorry!” Chenle says exhaustingly, after practically running from the parking lot to the booth.

“Chenle-yah, Jaemin-ah, where have you been!? It’s been 30 minutes since the org fair started!” Kun replies while handing them a stack of flyers.

“Sorry hyung!” Jaemin says, feeling guilty about oversleeping.

“It’s fine,” the elder says as he waved them off. “But I need to go now, the student council is gathering the organization presidents for a meeting.”

“Chenle-yah, you go hand these flyers over there, Jaemin, handle the booth all right?” As Kun fixes his belongings.

“Sir yes sir!” 

“Then, I’m leaving first, bye!” Jaemin and Chenle bid goodbye and started to work.

  
  
  


After a few hours of handing out flyers to the students, Chenle spots a tall and  _ cute _ (Chenle thinks) student with headphones on.

“”Hey! Welcome to SMU, Are you a freshman?” Chenle says as he approaches.

“Ah. Yes. I’m Jisung, can I help you?” The tall boy replied sheepishly. “I wanted to ask if you’d like to sign up for First act,” Chenle said, showing him the flyer. Jisung sees the words ‘Drama Club’ printed in front of the flyer.

“We’re quite a household name here!” Chenle excitingly expresses. “We even got the chance to perform internationally.”

“Thanks but uh—” Jisung stutters. “”I don’t think I can act to save my life?” He says, chuckling.

Chenle immediately reassures him, “No no no, everyone’s welcome— even beginners are welcome,” He reassures the taller boy. “I forgot to ask— what do you major in?”

“Dance and Performing arts,” Jisung whispers. “Ohhhh,” Chenle responds, clearly amused.  _ So he’s a dancing cutie? _ Chenle thought to himself.

“Umm— I’m actually looking for my friend to sign up,” Jisung says, interrupting Chenle’s thoughts. “Oh! I’m sorry if I’ve kept you— but here, take this okay?” Chenle said, handing over the flyer.

“Okay—“ the taller replies, but is interrupted by a phone call. “Wait, my friend’s calling me back— I’ll, uh, get going now, okay?” Chenle says, beginning to walk away from the taller one.

Jisung sees the other walking away from him before he remembers something, “Wait— what’s your name!” Jisung shouts, in an attempt to catch the smaller one’s attention.

“It’s Chenle!” he replies, smiling brightly before he made his way back to the booth.

  
  
  


After hanging up with Chenle, Jaemin starts packing up for the lunch break.

“Excuse me, are you already on break?” Someone said as they walked towards the booth.

Jaemin looks at the person. _ Brown hair, nice build, handso— oh my gosh, why am I checking him out?  _ Jaemin thought incredulously before he replied. “Hello, it’s fine— Are you here to sign up?” Jaemin says, bringing out the sign up sheets.

“Yeah, someone was handing out flyers earlier,” the boy says cheerily. Jaemin hands him the pen and the sheets to sign up,“Just write your name, contact number, and major here,” Jaemin continues, showing the slots in the sign up sheets.

“Cool”

“No problem— Jeno-ssi?” Jaemin says, peering at the other as he finished writing down his name. 

“Yes, uh-”

“Jaemin, Theatre Arts major,” Jaemin supplies. “No way! I’m majoring in Theatre too!” The brunette exclaimed.

“Awesome! Nice to meet you Jeno-ssi— are you a freshman?” Jaemin responds curiously, offering his hand. “You can call me Jeno— I’m a transfer actually, from Shanghai,” the other replied, shaking Jaemin’s outstretched hand.

“Oooh— Shanghai,” Jaemin says. “Hope you find it enjoyable here! If you need anything, you can find me, we are in the same department,” Jaemin offered, smiling brightly at the other.

“Thanks— I’ll be heading out first?” Jeno states. “Yeah— see you later Jeno,” Jaemin says, waving goodbye.

Jeno waves his hand in response before going his way. “Hey,” Jaemin sees Chenle nearing. “Who was that?” The younger asks. 

“He’s a transfer,” Jaemin blurts out, collecting his stuff from the booth. “He’s cute, but not your type,” Chenle says in a teasing tone, as they walked. “And what is my type, may I ask?” Jaemin replies, playfully going along.

“Type? Whose type are we talking about?”

“Dejun gege!” Chenle exclaimed. “Perfect, we’re talking about Jaemin,” Chenle says suggestively, throwing his arm around Dejun as he eyes Jaemin.

“”Ignore him,” Jaemin feigns ignorance. “Why are you here? Aren’t the Music department booths over there?” He asks the elder. 

“Yeah, but we finished early— I wanted to remind you about the Student Council meeting later in the afternoon,” Dejun looks at Jaemin in the eye. “Department representatives must go too,” the blonde boy finishes.

“Really? But I’m so tired though,” Jaemin whines, grabbing Dejun’s arm, protesting cutely. “Aww, you big baby, stop being so clingy,” Chenle interjects, prying Jaemin’s hands off of the elder.

“Dejun gege— want to have lunch with me? Let’s leave Jaemin hyung by himself,” Chenle says, hugging Dejun affectionately.

“I want to,” Dejun replies, ruffling the top of Chenle’s mint green hair. “But I can’t— I need to book a place for the dinner meeting for the Music department kids.” He sighs, pouting cutely.

“Don’t you ever get tired, Mr. Secretary?” Jaemin teases, holding the elder’s hand after Chenle lets go of him.

“I’m fine, really.”

Both Jaemin and Chenle pout at Dejun’s subtle rejection of their lunch offer. “See you later?” Dejun says, squeezing Jaemin’s hand, before letting go. “Yeah— see you,” Jaemin responds.

As Dejun bids farewell, Chenle’s eyes go back and forth between Jaemin and Dejun. “Why aren’t the two of you dating yet?” He whispers when Dejun is out of their sight. “What are you talking about?” Jaemin says, confused. 

“He clearly likes you hyung! And— Dejun’s your type,” Chenle teases. “Smart, responsible, a student leader, cute, GREAT voice, someone smaller than you,” He pauses.

“And?” Jaemin asks expectantly.

“Blonde!” 

Jaemin rolls his eyes, “Oh shut up!” Chenle bursts out laughing. “We’re only friends,” Jaemin continues, ignoring Chenle’s loud cackles. 

“You know, both  **him** and Dejun gege are very similar,” Chenle says, raising his right eyebrow teasingly.

“Why do you keep teasing me?” Jaemin says, wrapping his arm around Chenle’s neck. “Hyung hasn’t been treating you well, have I?” Both laughs at Jaemin’s satetment.

“What do you want to eat, my treat?” Jaemin asked, to which Chenle nodded enthusiastically.

“Thanks hyung— let's go to this place.” Chenle says, tugging at Jaemin’s sleeve. “It's pretty popular nowadays,” Chenle continues, as they proceed to get lunch.

Even during lunch, neither the savory aroma of the restaurant nor the mouth-watering food can distract Jaemin from his thoughts, failing to ignore Chenle’s previous words. His mind starts to drift with his memories of a certain  **someone** _. _

  
  


_ Jaemins looks at the person beside him. Blonde puffy hair, petite stature. The boy laughing full and heartily, eyes crinkled, nose scrunched, mouth wide open, and soft pink lips. They were seated on Jaemin’s couch, laughing at the television show they’re watching. _

_ The boy pauses, and stares at Jaemin for a moment before smiling brightly. “Jaemin-ah,” the boy says fondly, reaching out for Jaemin’s hand, interlacing their fingers together. Jaemin could hear his heart beating steadily and smiles at the boy’s endearment. _

_ “Injunnie” _

_ But suddenly, the other’s smile disappears. Jaemin looks confused as Renjun lets go of his hand altogether. _

_ “Jaemin hyung”  _

_ “What?” Jaemin asks, puzzled. _

  
  


“HYUNG!”

Jaemin snaps out of his thoughts, focusing on his surroundings. They’re outside now, near their school. In front of him was Chenle, shaking his shoulders. “Why what happened?” He asks the younger.

“I’ve been calling your name a few times now, we were about to cross the road,” The younger gestures at the stop light.

_ Oh _

“Sorry,” Jaemin says sheepishly. “Is there something on your mind?” Chenle asks as they cross the road. “No, it’s fine,” Jaemin replies, brushing off his initial thoughts.

“Perhaps— someone?” 

Jaemin stills at that, he felt caught. “I— uh,” he stutters out. “I thought so,” Chenle interjects, now laughing at Jaemin’s reddened state. 

“It’s okay hyung, I’ll stop teasing you about it— You can always talk to me, right?” The younger says, his voice sincere.

Jaemin smiles at the younger, appreciates how he is always there for him. “Thanks, it’s just—” He starts, but before he finishes, he gets interrupted by the pouring rain.

“Let’s hurry back!” The younger says, grabbing Jaemin’s arms, both of them running back to school— across the road.

  
  


Jaemin and Chenle hurriedly took shelter near the Music department, as the rain continued to pour strongly.

“Looks like the rain won’t be settling anytime soon,” Jaemin says, removing his soaked outer jacket. “Why did it rain so suddenly— Ugh, I’m soaking wet!” Chenle complains.

“This is the second time I’ve gotten soaked unexpectedly— today,” Jaemin says as he looks at Chenle, eyes throwing daggers at the younger. 

“Hehe— I’m sorry hyung,” Chenle replied, slowly backing away from Jaemin as the elder approached. Jaemin started flicking his wet hair onto Chenle,  _ payback _ , Jaemin thought. His actions quickly led to Chenle dragging Jaemin unto the pouring rain.

Chenle locks his hands over Jaemin’s torso, preventing the older from escaping, “We’re both getting wet!” Jaemin says, laughing wildly at what both of them were doing.

After their quick play fight in the rain, both of them return to take shelter once again. Chenle peels the outer layer of his clothes off, both of them soaked to the bones. “We should start bringing umbrellas next time,” Chenle utters.

“Jaemin! Chenle!”

“Dejun gege!” Chenle quickly turns his head towards the direction of the voice and notices Dejun approaching them. He was about to hug the elder, but quickly realized his current wet state.

“Care to explain— why both of you are soaking wet?” Dejun says, a hint of worry in his tone. Both Chenle and Jaemin face each other, silently giving each other a look.

“It's Jaemin’s fault!”

“It's Chenle’s fault!”

“Both of you— are literally kids,” Dejun says, chuckling. “Come with me, there’s a bunch of spare clothes from lost and found in the Student Council room,” the elder continues, guiding the way through the hallways of the building.

  
  


10 minutes away from where they were, the trio arrives at the Student Council room, devoid of student council members. Around the corner of the room, Dejun picks up a few boxes,  _ of clothes,  _ Jaemin presumes. “Here, take these and go change over there,” Dejun pointed at the door across the room.

“Thanks,” both of them replied.

Jaemin never imagined he would be ruffling through boxes of lost clothes, but here he is, he hears Chenle exclaim, “Can’t believe people would lose these kinds of stuff!” 

Jaemin usually goes for much simpler outfits, basic tees or button ups and matching pants— throws on a jacket if he’s feeling fancy. Fortunate enough, most of the clothes do fit his lean frame. He picks up a simple white and a pair of jeans. He changes then and there, not caring about Chenle’s near presence,  _ We’re practically brothers— we’ve seen much worse than this _ he thought as he unbuttons his shirt. Discarding it to the side and slips through the white tee. 

Removing his pants proved quite a challenge as the soaked cloth sticks to his thighs. After shucking it off, he realizes a major problem,  _ I don’t have extra underwear. _

Jaemin vaguely considers his options before deciding,  _ Fuck it _ , and hastily shoves his boxers off, quickly slipping his legs into the pant holes. Dejun bursts through the doors, almost surprising Jaemin. Luckily enough he manages to button on the pants just in time. 

“Guys, I’ve brought you some spare underwear— in case yours were also soaked,” Dejun hands them the boxer shorts.

“Thanks gege—though I don’t think Jaemin needs one,” Chenle teased, looking at Jaemin’s eyes.  _ Of course he saw, _ Jaemin thought before facing Dejun, his face red. “It’s fine, I wasn’t that wet,” he says sheepishly.

“Alright—” Dejun’s voice prodded at the situation, but eventually lets go. “There are plastic bags over there by the shelf, for your wet clothes,” Dejun points out before leaving the small room.

“Going bare— very brave of you, Na,” Chenle whispers teasingly before playfully smacking the elder’s butt. Jaemin‘s face starts blushing hard, unable to bark back a reply. “Go on ahead— you still have a meeting right?” Chenle motions Jaemin out the door, “I’ll take care of your wet clothes” he finishes, winking at him.

If Jaemin could use one word to describe the meeting—  _ Itchy _ , he thought. Unable to focus properly, shifting on his seat as Jung Jaehyun— the student body president, explains the upcoming events this academic year.

“I’ve discussed with the organization presidents earlier regarding the fundraising booths to be implemented in the middle of the university’s foundation week,” Jaehyun says. “We also decided that we’re going to make it a competition!” Cheered Jaehyun. “What do you guys think— Jaemin?”

The question pulls Jaemin out of his thoughts. “Uhh—” He looks at Dejun, making different eye motions, asking for help. Dejun quickly notices, ‘I agree,’ he mouths at Jaemin. “I agree!” Jaemin quickly replies back to Jaehyun. All the other department representatives followed with a chorus of agreement.

“Great! I think that’s all we need to discuss today— dismissed,” Jaehyun says, earning a collective response of ‘Thank you’ and ‘goodbye’.

With that, Dejun and Jaemin both head out of the room, finding a bored Chenle walking back and forth in the hallway. “Why are you still here?” Jaemin asks. “I was waiting for both of you of course— Come on, let’s go home, I’m tired,” Chenle whines at Jaemin.

Jaemin looks at Dejun, “You still have that dinner later, right?” Dejun groans. “Yes ugh- don’t remind me,” his voice tired. Jaemin laughs at Dejun’s actions as he grabs the other’s shoulders, “You can do this— Just one last thing before you sleep,” trying to encourage him by giving him a short massage.

“Alright, I’ll be going first, goodbye,” Dejun waves both Chenle and Jaemin goodbye, before proceeding to walk away. Chenle calls the other’s attention. “The rain finally stopped— let’s go home?” Jaemin nods in agreement.

  
  


After hanging their wet clothes, showering, and eating dinner, Chenle decides to watch some television while Jaemin is preoccupied with washing the dishes. The younger of the two was casually lounging on the couch when Jaemin approached him, sitting down besides him. “You know, it was raining— When we broke up,” That caught the younger’s attention and sat up straight. “Do you mean—“ he starts carefully, not wanting to make Jaemin uncomfortable by bringing  _ him  _ up.

“Yeah— Renjun,” Jaemin replies softly, looking at the can of soda in his hands. “It’s been— what? Three years, since we last saw each other,” he continues. Chenle stays silent but looks at Jaemin softly, gesturing to him to continue and that he is listening.

“I— Do you think he hates me?” He asks, voice cracking. Chenle flicks his eyes toward his friend, lips shut at first. A few seconds of silence before he responds, “You and I both know him well— we both know that he doesn’t have a single ounce of hate in his body,” he pauses, looking at Jaemin’s expression before continuing. “It’s not your fault that you broke up,” Chenle reassures him, holding his hand softly.

Jaemin shakes his head, unable to think. “But— I was the reason he left,” he mutters bitterly, “I hurt him.” Chenle’s heart begins to feel heavy for his friend, stretches his arms around him, facing Jaemin’s face towards his, “But you were hurt too.” Jaemin’s face slowly breaks down, tears threatening to fall. Chenle carefully grabs him into an embrace, wanting to soothe his friend’s feelings.

“Was he even happy with me? We were always fighting, even the smallest thing— we fought about.”

“Jaemin hyung, listen. I saw— I saw how happy both of you were.”

“We were arguing everyda—”

“Hyung, people argue all the time, you don’t have to beat yourself up for it, He loved you—” 

“Then why did he leave!” Jaemin intervenes, his voice shrill, tears falling. Chenle holds his face with both of his palms, looking at Jaemin’s sorrowful eyes. “Hyung— listen to me. Sometimes people leave, not because they not because they don’t love you,” he pauses.

“Sometimes, it’s the universe’s fault— time, place, and circumstances, these are also important factors— reasons on why things just don’t work out the way we want to.” Thumbs gently rubbing on Jaemin’s face.

“I loved him.”

“You did— But now, you need to learn to love yourself more,” Chenle says, making eye contact. “When was the last time you tried moving on?”

“I already tried before— I just can’t forget about him.”

“Hyung, you don’t have to forget about him,” Chenle says, wiping the elder’s tears dry. “What both of you had in the past— It helps you shape your choices. You can’t forget someone you love.” He continues.

“What you can do is, to grow up from this— Learn about the things that matter to you, and unlearn the things that don’t— okay?”

“Okay—” Jaemin says softly, before hugging the younger, for the last time of the night,  _ hopefully,  _ he thought to himself.

“I’m such a sap— oh my gosh,” Jaemin snickered, trying to lift up the atmosphere. He earns a soft giggle from Chenle, “I know— but you’re my sap,” and both laughs at that statement.

“Thanks Chenle— I don’t say this enough but— I’m really glad you’re here with me.”

“Of course,” the younger replied, his voice soft and gentle. “If you weren’t there three years ago, I— I wouldn’t have had the strength to walk back up.” Jaemin responds.

“I was with you then, I’m with you now— I would always be by your side, you know that— right?”

Jaemin’s lips come up to a gentle smile, looking at his best friend. “Yeah, I know.” Both of them embrace each other once again, before finally deciding to get their awaited sleep.

  
  
  


Around half past midnight, Jaemin was already in his bed, beneath his bedsheets, when his phone lights up to a text message. Jaemin shuffles quietly, before reaching over to see who texted him.

**Dejun Sunbae:**

Jaemin! Sorry for texting you this late, dinner with the Music department kids should have ended earlier, but my sunbaes wanted to treat them to a drink. So yeah, we just finished.

I kinda wanted to ask if you’re free tomorrow for dinner? I was a bit upset I wasn’t able to come with both of you earlier :c

Jaemin’s lips curve slowly into a smile before texting back.

**Jaemin:**

Yes hyung, I’m free tomorrow :]

See you at lunch?

**Dejun Sunbae:**

Yeah :] see you Jaemin!

Goodnight :)

Cheeks getting pink, Jaemin tries to let out the breath, he didn’t realize he was holding.  _ Breathe in, breathe out, _ trying to calm his heart beat before placing his phone down to the night stand by his right. Jaemin feels excited, definitely looking forward to his day with Dejun tomorrow, smiling into his pillows, before ultimately falling asleep.

A few minutes after falling asleep, Jaemin’s phone lights up once again to a text message from an unregistered number.

  
  
  
  
  


**Unknown Number:**

I miss you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooooh who could the text be from ? HAHAHAH  
> If you guys are confused about their ages and what year they are in college, I hope this could help :>
> 
> 2003-2002 liners are 1st year students  
> 2001-2000 liners are 2nd year students  
> 1999-1998 liners are 3rd year students  
> 1997-1996 liners are 4th year students


	2. Chapter 2

Jaemin opens his eyes to Chenle, gently rubbing his shoulders awake, “Hyung, wake up,” the boy said softly at him. He reaches over his phone, checking the time,  _ 7:27 it read.  _ He looks over Chenle—  _ already dressed _ , he notes. “Why are you up so early?” Jaemin said groggily, gently rubbing the sleep away from his eyes, before proceeding to stretch his arms. 

“8 am class,” the young replied curtly. 

Jaemin remembers the events of last night, earning a soft blush on his cheeks. “Dejun hyung wanted to treat us to dinner later— Are you free?” At that, Chenle’s face broke into a smile, “Really? Awesome,” he said before fastening his bag for school. “Text me later— See you hyung,” taking a last look at the pink haired boy before waving goodbye.

Jaemin, yawning, gets up and tries to fix his bed— but ultimately laid down on it once again, snuggling into the sheets. Jaemin takes a look at his phone once more,  _ plenty of time _ he thinks, as he sets his alarm for another 15 minutes— before finally taking a quick nap. 

  
  


After a quick nap, he’s finally feeling refreshed and energized before he decides to arrange his clothes for the day. He decides on a basic white tee, black joggers, and his favorite Adidas tracksuit jacket— before taking a quick morning shower.

Jaemin was in the middle of showering when his phone buzzed (yes, he brings his phone when he showers). He hastily finishes before looking at the notification.  _ A text from Dejun hyung _ , before clicking at it.

**Dejun Sunbae:**

Goodmorning :]

_ Cute.  _ He thought as he dried himself off and wrapped the towel around him, before pressing the call button and bringing the phone close to his ears. He hears bed sheets rustling,  _ He must still be in bed. _

“Good morning,” he hears from the phone, voice still rough and low. “Did you just wake up?” Jaemin asked, chuckling. “How’d you know?” Dejun said, a little bit embarrassed at being found out. “Your voice— It was a dead giveaway.”

“Ugh”

The boy on the other end of the line begins harmonizing, “AH! AH! AH! AH!— 1! 2! 3!” Jaemin laughs into the receiver, finding his hyung’s antics cute. “Hello— Is that better?” He asks, before clearing his voice one last time. “Hmmm— yeah, I suppose.”

“Sorry for my voice— I didn’t expect you to call,” the other boy admits. Jaemin laughs at that. Felt smug, he decided to tease his hyung, “don’t worry, your voice sounds husky— it’s hot **.** ”

A cough can be heard from the other line. Jaemin tries to conceal his smile, “What was that?” Dejun clears his throat once again, composing himself, “Nothing,” he said quickly.

Jaemin can imagine the elder boy’s appearance right now— blush slowly creeping his hyung’s cheeks, before he gets interrupted, “So, what are you doing right now?”

Jaemin thought about what he was going to say before his lips tugged on a smirk, “I just came out of the shower,” he dared, anticipating his reaction. There was a second of silence before Jaemin thought if he was being too forward with his hyung, “Hyung— Are you still there?”

“Yes! I’m still here!” Dejun exclaimed, voice pitched higher. Jaemin smiles onto the phone, “So—Where are we going to eat later?”

“Oh— Umm wherever you guys want!”

“Really? Cool!” Jaemin responds, laughing softly. “I'm really excited for later,” he continues. “You are?”

Yeah— we haven’t hung out in a while,” Jaemin says, scratching his head, “I miss—”  _ you _ , he wanted to say. “I miss it.”

“Me too,” Dejun says softly. His voice with a hint of fondness.

“What time do your classes finish?” Jaemin asked, not wanting to finish the conversation. 

“Around 5,”

“Cool, see you around 6?”

“Yeah,”

“I need to go shower now Jaemin—” Dejun says, gesturing to end the phone call. Jaemin decides to tease one last time, “Hyung,”

“Yes?”

“Sendmeapictureofyoushowering,” Jaemin said as fast as he could, hoping that his hyung didn’t hear. 

“YAH NA JAEMIN!!!”

“Bye hyung—” Jaemin said, laughing out loud before promptly ending the call.

His face— now red, Jaemin finally decides to get clothed before he gets anymore daring this morning.

  
  


Heavy footsteps start crowding the second floor hallway of the College of Business building— signalling the end of the first period of subjects. Chenle and his friend— Yangyang, walks out of their classroom’s door, fatigue already evident on their faces. “Ugh? I’m so tired already—” Yangyang whines, his upper body sagging forward, tiredly dragging his feet. 

“It’s only been the first class,” Chenle responds to the other, both of them walking slowly behind a crowd of students. “I know— but why does it gotta be at 8 in the morning,” the other pouts.

Chenle scoffs at that, “Because YOU wanted your next class to be with your class,” pointing his finger accusingly towards his friend. Yangyang peers up at the mention of his crush, “But this is the only class I could share with Ten gege before graduates,” he defends.

Chenle chuckles incredulously, “Does he even know you like him?”

“Of course not!” He exclaims quickly. “What if he thinks I’m some kind of weird annoying kid,” he continues explaining. “You kinda are,” Chenle says, laughing at the other’s face, clearly sensitive about the topic. “Not cool,” he says curtly, before both of them started laughing.

“What’s your next class anyway?” Yangyang asked once they've stopped laughing. “Remember that class I failed last semester?” Chenle recalls, “You mean P.E. 101?” He laughs,  _ how could someone fail P.E.,  _ he must have thought.

“Yeah, that.” He says, remembering his unfortunate memories of that class. “Its not my fault my project partner forgot to hit send!” Yangyang bursts out laughing, “That was so funny— the professor had to email you during break!” He says.

“I just hope I won’t be sharing the same class as him,” Chenle said as they slowly approached Yangyang’s room. “I gotta go—” Yangyang said to him.

“Bye gege!”

As he made his way to his room— across campus, Chenle checked his watch,  _ 9:55, just in time. _ As soon as he opened the door, he noticed that he was one of the first to arrive. He made way to sit at the desks, situated in the middle of the room. He opens his phone, checks at his social media feed as the seats start filling in. 

He notices a tall figure and quickly looks up from his phone to see the cute boy he met yesterday.  _ Jisung _ , he thought before waving in his direction. The boy noticed Chenle, mouthing the words ‘over here’ before he made his way to the seat beside the boy. 

“Hey! You’re Jisung right?” Chenle asked, making sure he remembered the boy’s name. Once Jisung was seated properly, he looked at the boy beside him, a smile present on his face, “Yeah, uh— Chenle hyung?” He tests, seeing the elder nod in response.

“Is this your first class?”

“Yeah— didn’t want to wake up that early,” Jisung said, scratching the back of his neck. “Lucky for you— This is already my second class,” Chenle whines to Jisung. “Can’t believe I have to retake this class one more time.”

Jisung tilts his head at that, must be wondering what happened. Chenle sees this and explains what had happened, “Yeah, so basically my partner sucked— STILL sucks,” he added quickly. Jisung laughs softly at that, “Well, I don’t know anyone here besides you— Do you want to be my partner?” Jisung asks, voice with a tint of hope. 

Chenle smiles at the younger’s words, grabbing his hand excitedly, “That’d be great!” He exclaims. At the same time, the professor—  _ different from last year’s,  _ Chenle notes, enters the room, promptly introducing himself before allowing the students to change into their P.E. clothes.

  
  


After Jaemin’s first class of the day, he and his classmate— Kunhang, walk out of the lecture hall. Jaemin’s phone lights up to Chenle’s text message,  _ lunch? _ , it reads out. He briefly types a reply before turning his head towards Kunhang, “Hey, wanna get lunch with me and Chenle?” 

“What’s in it for me?” The other says, mocking.

“Asides from seeing my face for another hour?” Jaemin taunts back, voice in a squeaky manner, while fluttering his eyelashes at his friend. Kunhang fakes a gag noise and both boys laugh at that. “So, are you coming or what?” Jaemin asked, a little bit serious. “As much as I would love to— I can’t, Ten gege asked me to run some errands for him.”

“That sucks— see you later?”

“See you,”

Jaemin waves his hand goodbye as he walks toward his and Chenle’s usual spot for lunch.

  
  


After buying his lunch, Jaemin easily spots Chenle in their usual seats but notices someone else with him. “Chenle!” He greets as he nears both boys. Jaemin looks at Chenle once more before looking at the boy across him. 

“Oh! Jaemin— this is Jisung,” Chenle introduces. “He’s a freshman, we shared the previous class,” he supplies. “Hey— I’m Na Jaemin, we’re roommates,” the elder introduces himself. “Nice to meet you, sunbaenim,” the youngest nods. “You can call me hyung— no need to be that formal with me,” Jaemin replies, cooing at Jisung’s shy attitude.

“Oh! What club were you planning to join?” Chenle asked as Jaemin took a seat right next to him. “You said that you and your friend would join the same one?” Chenle recalled their conversation from yesterday. 

“Oh that—” Jisung remembers, before taking a bite of his food, “Me and my hyung joined the dance club,” he says, chewing his food all the while. “Is he your brother?” Jaemin asked. “No, just an elder friend I’m close with,” the youngest replied.

“Woah— Are you super good at dancing?” Chenle asked, his eyes sparkling with admiration, “Can you teach me— please?” He continued, grabbing the latter’s hand. Jisung’s cheeks reddens at that, “Ummm— I don’t know if I’m great at teaching someone else,” bashfully brushing off the comment. 

Jaemin then gets close to the youngest, “Better just agree with him,” he whispers, “He doesn’t take no for an answer— he’ll whine until you agree,” and both boys snicker at that. The youngest looks over at Chenle, “Okay” and agrees before he smiles. 

“Great!” Chenle responds, grinning cheerfully.

  
  


As lunch time finishes, Jaemin bids the two youngest farewell before turning on his feet, walking towards his next period’s class room. 

As he nears the room, he sees a familiar figure reaching over the door’s handle, “Jeno!” Jaemins shouts, earning the attention of the mentioned boy and a few other students as well.

“Hey— Jaemin, right?” Jeno replies, as the other boy walked closer. “Yeah— great to see you!” Jaemin exclaims, “I almost forgot that we are from the same major!”

“Yeah— I’m quite relieved I know someone from the same class,” Jeno replied, both of them entering the lecture hall. “Lucky— When I was new here, the only one I knew was my friend but we had different majors,” Jaemin said as they turned toward their seats. 

Jeno nods in understanding, “Why did you choose Theatre— like as your major?” The other asked. “I was also in a theatre club back in high school— practicing and performing was always my favorite part of school days,” Jaemin said, voice filled with the fondness of his high school memories, “How about you— did you also grow up with theatre?” He asks Jeno.

“Actually no— Theatre wasn’t even in my mind when I was a junior” Jeno chuckles at the thought of his younger self, doing the bare minimum required for a high school student, “I had no interests back then— just going to class because I had to,” he continues. Jaemin looks at him silly, before Jeno notices and laughs at the other’s reaction. 

“I met this boy— he transferred to our school in our final year,” Jeno said, eyes crinkled at the goofy memory. “He didn’t do theatre either, but he loved it,” he continued. Jaemin nods for Jeno to continue, subtly noticing the way Jeno’s eyes spoke in interest. “He said that, there was this person he truly admired that did theatre.”

“We became good friends, and eventually we started talking more and more about the wonders of theatre,” Jeno smiled, before he lifted his head up and breathed out, “It wasn’t until I realized that, I wanted to be the person he would admire most— was when I was finally hooked on theatre,” he said to Jaemin, cheeks softly painted pink with his eyes grinning. 

“Woah,” Jaemin said in amazement. He wasn’t exactly sure how to respond to what Jeno had shared to him. He was glad that something like this had happened for Jeno— sure, but there’s this feeling in his chest that he can’t quite understand.  _ Am I jealous?  _ He said to himself as he thought about having someone by his side as he achieved his dream. 

_ No, of course I’m not jealous— I have Chenle— and Kun— and Dejun and—  _ His thoughts are interrupted as their professor abruptly opened the door and made his way to the desk. Both boys immediately fix their position, before taking out a pair of writing materials. 

_ Was I about to think about Ren— Again?  _ He said to himself before shaking his thoughts away as the professor began the lecture.

  
  


“Don’t forget to read up on our materials for next week— References are indicated on the handed syllabus,” the professor announced to the room. He dismissed the class and made his way out of the room. Sound of chairs scratching the floor, bags and papers shuffling can be heard as the students prepare to leave. 

Jaemin couldn’t focus much during the lecture. _Good thing we only discussed the topic outlines,_ he thought. Jaemin snaps out of his thoughts as Jeno taps his shoulder. “Let’s go?” He said to Jaemin. Jaemin notices everyone has almost left the room and nods at Jeno.

“Do you have a next class?” Jaemin asked as both of them left the room. “Not really— but I still have to help fix the stuff back at my room,” Jeno replied, shoulders slumping at the thought of organizing all of his messy luggage. Jaemin snickers at that, “See you tomorrow— At the orientation?” Jaemin said, reminding Jeno of the club’s upcoming welcome orientation.

“Thanks for reminding me— See you!” Jeno replied as he waved his hand farewell, before taking his leave.

Jaemin glances at the time,  _ 5:05,  _ before calling Dejun. After a few rings, the phone picks up to Dejun. “Hey, are you still in class?” Dejun asked him. “Nope, we just finished— you?” He asked, twisting the balls of his right foot in anticipation. 

He hears Dejun sigh through the phone. “The council called for an emergency meeting— I hope we could finish in 30 minutes,” he said, voice clearly unamused at the sudden meeting. “That’s okay— there’s still plenty of time till 6:30,” Jaemin reassures him. 

“Text me later?” 

“Yep— See you later hyung,” Jaemin said before hanging up.

He decides to text Chenle, reminding him for tonight’s dinner. Not a few seconds later, his phone buzzes to a series of replies from him. 

  
  


**Lele :P**

Hyunggggg, I don’t think I can come anymore :c

I completely forgot me and a couple of my classmates had volunteered to help organize the meeting with our freshmen :c

Look at the bright side, you can have Dejun gege to yourself hehe

Enjoy hyung :P

  
  


Jaemin blushes at that, quickly typing up a reply before closing his phone. He takes a look at his clothes,  _ Should I change?  _ He thought to himself, before deciding to go back home for a quick change.

  
  


After the council meeting has ended, Dejun texted Jaemin the restaurant’s address and to just meet there. Jaemin is already nearing the address when Dejun notices him. 

“Hi,” Jaemin said as he approached the other. He took notice of the elder’s attire, Black button up long sleeves with a pair of jeans. “You look great,” he continued. Dejun grins at that, cheeks tinted pink. “Thanks, you look great as well— We looked like we planned this.” Dejun said, gesturing to Jaemin’s choice of clothes, white button up long sleeves and a pair of denim jeans. 

Jaemin scratches his neck, looking bashful.  _ Good thing I changed,  _ he thought to himself. “Yeah— we’re quite the match,” he said, cheeks also red from blushing. 

“Where’s Chenle?” Dejun wondered, looking around their surroundings. “Oh— I texted him earlier, he said he might not join— Says there’s a meeting,” Jaemin explained to him. “Oh— that’s too bad— let’s go?” The other boy responds, motioning them to enter inside.

After getting seated and ordering their food, both boys sat at their table in silence, while waiting. Jaemin decides to ignore the slightly awkward tension between them and looks around the place.

The vibe of the restaurant is very cozy and comfortable— the place is lit up warmly. The interior design— modern and fresh, lot’s of wooden aspects to the furniture. Lofi music is currently playing— and Jaemin starts to feel the rythm, tapping his finger against the table in time with the beats.

“Jaemin?” Dejun says, earning Jaemin’s attention. “Hmmm?” The younger says, suddenly nervous of what Dejun’s about to say. It took a few seconds for Dejun to contemplate on what he was going to say, making Jaemin more tense in his seat.

“Is this a date?” Dejun blurts out before his shyness could stop him. Jaemin looks at him incredulously, quite shocked at what the elder asked him. Stunned Jaemin could feel his heart beat faster by the second, feel the heat travel up to his face— uttering out a dumbstrucked ‘Huh?’

Dejun must have noticed how he made the atmosphere more awkward as he tries to retract his earlier question. “I mean— nevermind,” he tries to explain, voice jittery and pitched.

“Wait!” Jaemin exclaims, trying to bring up the conversation before it gets buried. “I mean— I don’t know,” he says honestly to the elder boy, hands clasped on top of the table. There was a period of silence as both of them debated on what to say in response. Dejun contemplates, felt brave for a moment and thinks  _ fuck it,  _ “Do you want to— to date I mean?” He asked quickly, eyes closing in anticipation of what Jaemin is gonna say. 

“Hyung,” Jaemin says, making his way to hold his hyung’s hands. “Look at me—” he continues, making the elder open his eyes slowly— the tension slowly fading out. “Do you like me?” Jaemin asked as he smiled, heart beating fast. The elder looks at him for a moment before saying, “Yes— I like you Jaemin-ah.”

“I like you too hyung,” Jaemin replies fondly. The elder’s eyes widen for a moment in bliss before noticing Jaemin’s grin slowly breaking. “Why— what’s wrong?” The elder asked him. “It’s just that—'' Jaemin sighed, he’s not sure if he should tell the other what’s been bothering his thoughts for the past few days,  _ years. _

“I— I think I’m not ready for a relationship yet,” he said, feeling his heart crack as he sees Dejun’s face upset. “It’s been three years— since me and my ex boyfriend broke up,” he continued. “All this time— I’ve been trying to move on from him,” he explains as he tries to prevent his voice from cracking at the recollection of his past.

“I’m not sure at how I feel anymore— I’m not entirely sure if I have or haven’t moved on from all of what has happened between me and him,” Jaemin follows, voice thick and heavy. Dejun looks at the younger, feeling a bit bad for having him to open up a part of his past that hurted him. “And I don’t think it’s fair for you to handle all this emotional baggage I’m carrying.” Jaemin finishes, resting his head down as he sighs.

Dejun gently shakes the younger’s hands, “Jaemin, listen to me.” The elder says as he reached for Jaemin’s face, slightly lifting his head to meet his eyes. “I like you— okay?,” Dejun reassures, his eyes soft and warm. “And part of liking you— is liking everything about you, and that includes your past,” he finishes, caressing the younger’s face gently. 

“Hyung—” 

“I know you that think you’re being unfair to me— and I get what you mean,” Dejun interjects, palm still against Jaemin’s face. “We could start light— you know, casual dating?” The elder suggests, bringing both his hands back to Jaemin’s, carefully squeezing them in between. “I think it’s a great way for me to help you— to finally move on,” the elder finishes, smiling back at Jaemin.

Jaemin still hesitates at that. He still isn’t sure on what to decide on, he doesn’t really want to hurt Dejun if he couldn’t end up moving on in the end. But, he also considers the fact that, maybe his attraction for his hyung is the key to finally moving on and to be happy.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Dejun asks him, slightly nervous about what Jaemin meant. 

“Okay— As in, yes— I want to try,” Jaemin responds, locking his eyes with Dejun. “Dating casually— that is.”

“Really— You mean it?” Dejun exclaims in joy, face breaking into a wide grin. “I really want to try— dating you, Xiao Dejun.”

Before both of them could rejoice further, their waitress arrives at their table, bringing their mouth watering food.

“Thank you,” Dejun says, looking at Jaemin across the table. “For giving us a chance.” Jaemin feels his chest pump in delight at his hyung’s words and what has happened. Jaemin smiles at the other, bliss clearly seen on his expression.  _ Maybe, I made the right choice,  _ he said before they proceed to eat.

  
  


Dinner, for a better lack of term, was  _ amazing _ , Jaemin thought to himself. He and Dejun talked all throughout dinner, and spoke about the silliest of things. His thoughts get interrupted by Dejun as they make their way out of the restaurant, “Hey— can you wait over there,” the elder says to him as he points along the street to a bench. “I need to go to the bathroom— sorry,” he continues.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you over there,” Jaemin says, chuckling at how Dejun handed him his things to hold as he rushes over to the nearest bathroom. Jaemin waves his hand at the sight of a fleeting Xiao Dejun. 

_ Ah, this day has been great,  _ he thought to himself as he made way to the bench.

“Jaemin?”

He stills in his walk as he hears the voice of someone familiar,  _ too familiar,  _ to him.

“Jaemin— is that you?” Jaemin hears, stays frozen on his feet. His heart starts beating fast, ears keep ringing. He doesn’t know what he should do—  _ should I look?  _ He asked himself. In a split second decision, he turns around and looks at the owner of the voice.

There he is, a few meters away from him. His blonde hair _ — _ now black, petite figure and round eyes looking straight at Jaemin.

_ Renjun _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF What do you think happened to that text? HMMMMMMMM


	3. Chapter 3

_ It’s been three years,  _ Jaemin thought as he looked across him. Standing there, was the person he wouldn’t have imagined to come back after all this time.

_ Am I dreaming?  _ He thought to himself, eyes slowly blinking in disbelief as he stares at the boy in front of him. Petite, thin,  _ beautiful— _ he looks exactly the same from the last time he saw him. 

Nothing has changed about how the other boy looks.  _ What about his feelings— does he still feel the same?  _ He thought, his heart beating faster and faster in realization.  _ Do I still feel the same?  _ He asked himself.

“Renjun,” Jaemin manages, finally able to reply to the boy nearing him. He still isn’t sure what to make of the situation at hand.  _ Should I feel happy— mad?,  _ he thought to himself, very much confused. There’s a lot of questions roaming around Jaemin’s mind, questions he wanted answered for three whole years— yet nothing’s coming out of his mouth.

“Hey,” the other boy said as he stood next to Jaemin, fixing the strap on his bag, unable to meet Jaemin straight in the eye. 

Jaemin contemplates on what he’s going to say to the other, _should I ask what he’s doing here—_ Jaemin thinks to himself before getting interrupted by a cough. Jaemin looks up at Renjun’s eyes, clearly tense as well.

“Umm— How are you?” Renjun asks him, voice thin, trying to test the weird atmosphere. “I—”  _ I’ve been fine without you _ , he had wanted to say to Renjun but refrained himself in the last second, “I’m good,” he settles. “How about you— I didn’t even know when you came back,” Jaemin says, voice with a hint of bitterness.

“Oh— I’m fine too,” Renjun responds, massaging the palm of his hand, the atmosphere rather stiff. “I just came back,” he manages to say despite the tension in the air.

“Why?” Jaemin blurts out, unable to stop himself from asking. Renjun’s head pokes up at that, “Huh?” The other replied. Jaemin thinks whether or not he should ask Renjun‘s reason why he came back. He gathers his remaining courage before asking, “I mean, why did you come ba—”

“Jaemin?” A voice interrupts Jaemin. Jaemin looks behind Renjun, where the voice came from. He sees Dejun nearing the both of them, one of his eyebrows raised in question. “Dejun hyung,” Jaemin calls out at the eldest. Renjun turns around at that, meeting Dejun’s eyes.

“Oh— Renjun-ssi?” Dejun utters out to the other. “Oh! Dejun sunbae!” Renjun responds immediately, quickly bowing his head down toward the elder. Jaemin looks at both of them, a bit bewildered. 

“You know him?” Jaemin asks the blonde haired boy. Dejun realizes Jaemin’s implications, “You mean Renjun-ssi— I met him at yesterday’s dinner,” the eldest said. “He was one of the transferees for the Music department,” he clarifies. 

_ He’s going to study here?  _ He thought to himself before looking at Renjun once again, somewhat seeking for a confirmation. Renjun understands Jaemin’s gaze before replying, “Oh, yeah— SMU offered me a slot in the department,” he explains to Jaemin.

“So yeah— I transferred this semester,” Renjun finishes shortly. Jaemin doesn’t know what to make of this information,  _ Should I trust him?  _ He snaps out of his thoughts once Dejun clears his throat.

“Um— so you two know each other?” Dejun asks both of them. Jaemin can see Renjun hold back on his words, before looking at him— eyes almost saying ‘What should we say?’

“We’re from the same high school,” Jaemin tells quickly, ignoring the bitter after taste from his words.  _ It’s not technically a lie, isn’t it? _

“Oh? But you said you transferred here from another country—” 

“Huang!”

A voice calling out to Renjun interrupts Dejun's question. All three of them turn around to look at the source of the voice. Jaemin sees two figures side by side from a distance, he somehow recognizes the voice. Before he could put his finger on it and see both of their faces, Renjun gets ahead of him and calls both of them. “Mark— Donghyuck!”

_ Donghyuck from high school? Why are they in contact?  _ Jaemin asked himself before the faces of the two figures near them. He looks at the slightly taller guy,  _ this must be Mark? _ He notes to himself, before taking a look at Donghyuck.

_ I was right,  _ he thought as both Donghyuck and Mark exchanged greetings with Renjun and Dejun.

_ Lee Donghyuck.  _ As far as Jaemin can remember, Renjun and Donghyuck weren’t friends back in high school. Heck, he could even say both of them were enemies and no one would question it. 

_ I didn’t even know they made up,  _ he said under his breath— remembering the rivalry between them. Their rivalry had started back in freshman high school, both Renjun and Donghyuck the top two students in their year. Every quarter, both of them would fight for the very top spot in academic hierarchy. Their rivalry didn’t end there, insult throwing and a very rare fist fight had happened during their sophomore year in high school. 

Their fighting and one-upping each other had finally finished after both of them ran for Student Body President during their junior year. It ended after Renjun had lost both the election and the top spot of their year—  _ Ended after Renjun left that year. _

“Na Jaemin?”

Jaemin snaps out of his thoughts to see Donghyuck calling his name, waving his hand hello. “Oh— Nice to see you, Donghyuck,” Jaemin greets. “You can call me Hyuck— like people used to in high school,” Donghyuck recalled. 

Jaemin’s gaze has been switching from looking at Donghyuck to looking at Renjun. Somehow, Donghyuck notices Jaemin’s slight dilemma, “Me and Renjun have been keeping in touch.”

“Oh! When did you—” Jaemin starts, not really wanting to bring up Renjun and Donghyuck’s rivalry. Donghyuck catches Jaemin’s implication and snickers, possibly from the recollection of their past. “What— became friends?” Hyuck said, snickering at Jaemin’s reaction. Both of us talked after the election,” he says back to Jaemin. “We wanted to put our differences aside,” he explained.

Before Jaemin could reply, Dejun also expressed his surprise, “Woah— so both of you too knew each other before?” Dejun exclaimed. “Must be nice to have someone familiar from the same major huh?” Dejun gestures to Renjun, to which he nods at.

“Were the three of you about to catch dinner as well?” Dejun asked the trio. “Yeah, Donghyuck wanted to tour Renjun around— since he was new,” the other person— Mark, had replied. “Are you two as well?” He continued.

At that, Jaemin stutters out a reply, “Ah— no, we just finished.”

Donghyuck nods at that, “Well— we’ll be going our way now.” He says, calling Renjun’s attention for them to go. Renjun looks at Jaemin one more time, slowly examining him. He looks like he was about to say something, before he turns his head towards Dejun and bids him goodbye.

Renjun looks at Jaemin one more time, “Goodbye— Jaemin-ah.” He said, before turning on his foot to follow behind Mark and Donghyuck.

Jaemin had wanted to ask more questions to Renjun but hesitated and uttered a meek goodbye, as they bid their hands farewell.

“Jaemin— Let’s go?” Dejun asked, shaking Jaemin out of his thoughts. 

“Let’s go.”

  
  


After he and Dejun had parted ways to their respective homes, he couldn’t stop thinking of Renjun. He opened the door to his and Chenle’s apartment, and set down roughly on their couch.

Chenle must have heard him enter, he comes rushing out of his room to meet Jaemin. “Hyung!” The younger shouts, voice clearly excited and curious as to what happened during dinner. Jaemin almost doesn’t notice the younger when Chenle shakes him out of his thoughts, quite literally.

“Woah, woah— Okay I can hear you,” Jaemin says frantically, removing the younger’s arm from aggressively shaking his shoulders. Both of the boys laugh at the situation before Chenle flops himself beside the elder. 

“What’s on your mind hyung— what’s got you thinking this deep?” Chenle asked, face questioning along with his raised eyebrow. Jaemin ponders on how he’ll explain how he saw Renjun after his and Dejun’s  _ not date,  _ date.

“Renjun came back,” he blurts out to the younger, quickly closing his eyes in anticipation for Chenle’s reaction. Jaemin waits for a few silent seconds before he carefully opens his eyes to look at the younger. 

He sees from his side how Chenle is seated, limbs still and unmoving. It takes a moment before Chenle realizes that the other is looking at him. He gazes at the elder, before he lets out a mere ‘oh?’

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Jaemin asked him, a bit suspicious that the younger wasn’t as surprised he thought he would be. Chenle peers at that, “Let’s not talk about me— how do you feel about him coming back?” He replies.

“Since you were the one who had something unresolved with him?” Chenle continued, looking back at Jaemin. “There’s nothing unresolved,” Jaemin corrects him quickly. “We broke up, and that’s that.” Jaemin finished, totally missing the younger’s point.

“Eyyyy— That’s not what I meant,” Chenle teased the elder, trying to make the atmosphere lighter. He didn’t want another episode of what happened last night to repeat. “What I meant was— what did you feel, seeing him after three years?” Chenle quickly added.

“The thing is— I actually don’t know what I’m feeling right now,” Jaemin responds to the younger. He then proceeds to tell the younger that this was the only thing he was thinking about after seeing him again. “Strangely enough, I didn't feel angry,” he explained.

“Sure— my heart was beating fast but— I’m not exactly sure why,” Jaemin continues as he recalled the events after dinner. “Hyung— It’s okay if you don’t know what you’re feeling right now,” the younger said to him, gently grabbing his arms in affection. “A lot happened tonight— and it’s understandable if you feel confused,” he reassures Jaemin.

“The good thing I guess— was that, compared to how I looked at him before, I  _ think _ my feelings have changed,” Jaemin said, sighing out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Oh hyung,” the younger replied. “If you’re starting to move on— I’m happy for you,” he follows.

“But remember— You don’t have to force yourself to move so fast,” Chenle says to him, eyes and lips smiling at him softly. Jaermin nods at what the younger had meant. “Feelings take time— so don’t burden yourselves by trying too hard, okay?” The younger finishes, gently squeezing Jaemin’s arm affectionately.

“Okay,” Jaemin says to him, chest now feeling light. 

“So,” Chenle starts, his soft smile slowly turning into a smirk. “Do you want to talk about you and Dejun gege’s date night?” He mocked, earning a pillow thrown at his face by a blushing Jaemin. “Yah!” Jaemin had shouted, clearly shy and flustered. Chenle had picked up a pillow as well, and swung it towards his hyung, in retaliation, leading both of them to a friendly pillow fight.

After the pillow fight, a red faced Jaemin, had told what happened during dinner, earning a squeal from the younger, “You two are finally dating?” Chenle exclaimed.

“Yes— but only casually,” Jaemin had replied, explaining that he didn’t want to be unfair to Dejun, knowing how he’s still up and about with his feelings. “That’s great hyung— I hope things turn out great for both of you,” Chenle had said sincerely, a grin reaching both of his ears.

“I hope so too.”

—————

Jaemin and Jeno share their first periods of Wednesdays and Fridays as well. They decide to exchange class schedules, to see if they have anymore classes together. Unfortunately, they only shared those two classes. Both had decided to exchange phone numbers as well.

Jeno and Jaemin both listen promptly during the lecture when Jaemin’s phone buzzes. He looks over the screen and sees that Dejun had texted him. Jaemin then reaches over, discreetly unlocking his phone to look at the text.

**Dejun Sunbae**

Hey, do you want to eat lunch together? My first class has been cancelled today hehe :]

You’re probably in class right now, answer this text when you’re free, okay?

I miss you

Jaemin’s face slowly breaks into a smile. He puts his phone back down as he thinks of what to reply back.  _ Should I also say I missed him?  _ He asked himself. Before he’s able to type out a reply, his phone buzzes one more time to Dejun’s text.

**Dejun Sunbae**

Also, this is a gift, to keep you motivated :>

[Photo Attached]

Jaemin’s eyes suddenly widened, lowering his phone beneath the writing desk. He quickly turns his head around, frantically looking if anyone of his classmates saw. He opens his phone once again, dimming the screen brightness for safety and clicks on the picture to zoom in. 

Jeno notices Jaemin’s distress beside him. Jaemin’s face is extremely red, he notes, before moving his gaze towards Jaemin’s phone. It’s a picture of someone, but he can’t exactly see who the person is, or what he was doing as the screen was very dimmed down.

Jeno plans to ask Jaemin what’s gotten him bothered when Jaemin slams his phone on the desk a little bit loudly. He earns the attention of some of their classmates. Looking shy, he whispered a chorus of ‘sorry’ before they turned their focus back on the lecture.

Jeno looks at him one more time thinking, ‘it’s probably not the best to ask him,’ before he finally listens to the lecture.

  
  


After the three hour lecture, Jaemin and Jeno are spent. Fatigue clearly written on all the students’ faces. As they made their way out of the lecture room, Dejun was right outside, leaning back on the railings at the edge of the hallway. His face brightens up when he sees Jaemin, making his way towards him, blush still evident in his face.

“Class just over?” Dejun asks Jaemin as he neared. “Yeah,” he manages to say, still not over what the elder had sent him earlier in class. Jaemin turns his attention to Jeno, “Jeno— this is Dejun,” he introduced him. Jeno and Dejun greet each other, shaking hands.

“Do you have a next class?” Jaemin asked Jeno. “Yeah,” Jeno sighs at that, face unsatisfied with how hectic his schedule is today. Jaemin pats Jeno’s back in sympathy, understands how heavy the course load must be, after transferring schools.

Dejun and Jaemin then bid Jeno farewell as he made his way to his next class.

“Shall we go?” Dejun asked him once Jeno was out of sight. “Let’s,” Jaemin had replied back. 

As both of them walk to the nearest cafeteria, Jaemin and Dejun’s hands keep brushing each other. Jaemin can feel the elder freeze whenever their hands touch accidentally. Neither one of them comments on it when Jaemin feels a rush of bravery flow through him before grabbing the other’s hands.

Dejun squeaks in surprise, looking at Jaemin with wide eyes, not sure what to do. Jaemin smiles at him then, before he proceeds to intertwine their fingers, holding him tighter. Dejun’s cheeks blushes but his body finally relaxes at that.

They buy their lunch and proceeds to eat in silence. Both of them still felt a bit awkward at what had happened. Jaemin looks up from his plate and takes a peek at the elder.  _ He wore his glasses today,  _ Jaemin notes. He also notices that the elder was slightly dressed down compared to his usual outfits as he normally wears semi-formal attires in university. A printed shirt underneath a dark green jacket, paired with some form fitting jeans,  _ he looks good as always _ , he thought to himself, smiling.

Dejun notices the younger staring at him before he snaps Jaemin out of his thoughts, “Jaemin?” He had said. “Hmm?” The younger replied curtly.

“Why were you staring at me?” The elder asked obliviously, cheeks still stained in pink. Jaemin chuckles at that, “Cuz you look cute,” he had replied confidently, smiling at the elder smugly. When Jaemin thought the elder couldn’t get cuter anymore, Dejun’s whole face just reddened and shook his face in shyness.

They continued to tease each other during the whole course of their lunch break. Dejun even opened up to Jaemin— about how tiring it was to be part of the student council. To say it was a sight for Jaemin to see was undermining the situation. To see his hyung whine and pout about the increasing workload of both academics and council duties— was quite  _ endearing,  _ he thought.

Lunch had ended and Jaemin decided to accompany his hyung to his next class, seeing that he still had 30 minutes to spare. Luckily enough, Dejun’s next class was in the Music department building, pretty near the cafeteria they ate in. 

After saying their goodbyes, Dejun had entered the classroom and Jaemin was met with a crowd of students leaving from the next room. Jaemin spots Donghyuck in the midst of the crowd and is taken back to the events of the night prior. 

Jaemin wanted to ask Donghyuck about Renjun.  _ Maybe there’s another reason why he came back?  _ He thought to himself. Jaemin’s curiosity had gotten better off him and before he knew it, he was striding across the hallway calling Donghyuck’s attention. “Hyuck— wait up!” He had exclaimed.

Donghyuck had heard him, turned on his foot to face Jaemin. “Jaemin— what’s up?” The elder had said. Jaemin contemplates on what he’ll exactly ask of the other as he neared him. 

“Can I umm— talk to you?” Jaemin starts, still unable to form a complete question for Donghyuck. The other tilts his head to the side and looks at Jaemin, a little bit alarmed. Jaemin’s hands are clammy as he was still thinking how can he ask Donghyuck what had happened  _ appropriately, and not sound like a jerk. _

Donghyuck notices how Jaemin has gotten a bit tense. Jaemin’s voice slightly stutters earlier before Donghyuck gets the idea on what Jaemin wanted to talk about. “Let me guess— Renjun?” He says.

Jaemin gulps at that, feeling a bit embarrassed, slowly nodding at Donghyuck. “Okay— let’s talk over there?” Donghyuck says, directs his attention to a less crowded hallway. Jaemin nods and follows him. 

“Why did you— umm stay in touch with Renjun?” Jaemin had said once they found a more private space. Jaemin immediately regrets the tone of his voice right now— quite accusing,  _ what if Donghyuck thinks I’m acting bitter?  _ He thought to himself.

Donghyuck pondered for a bit, finding the right words to say to Jaemin, “Before he left, we talked— as I have said to you last night,” the elder had said. “But it wasn’t until after our class graduated— did we keep in touch,” he finishes.

Jaemin looks at Donghyuck putty, face clearly puzzled at what Donghyuck said. “Graduation?— but he left during our junior year,” Jaemin asks him. Donghyuck looks at him, confusion painted on his expression.

“Yes— he came back after a year?” Donghyuck says, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “We coincidentally met later that day— said he wanted to see how we were doing,” he continued.

_ He came back— but why didn’t he look for me?  _ He had wanted to ask the elder before he stopped himself shortly. “We talked shortly— after that, we would message each other pretty often, even after he left again,” Donghyuck finishes.

“Oh,” Jaemin says, finally manages to blurt out a response. He’s not entirely sure of what he should feel right now.  _ Should I be disappointed? _ He asked himself. “Wait—” Donghyuck interrupts his thoughts, “You didn’t know he came back?” He asks Jaemin, finally realizing the younger’s inner dilemma. “Of course he didn’t show himself,” Donghyuck huffs.

Jaemin nods at Donghyuck, feeling caught, felt like he was being upset because of something that had happened two years ago. Before Donghyuck manages to ask another question, his phone rings to a call.

“Hyung— okay, I’ll be right there,” He said into the line, as he looked at Jaemin before he hung up. “Jaemin— I need to go,” he explained to the younger, feeling slightly guilty for leaving Jaemin to satisfy his own curiosity. “Listen, I know you have more questions to ask— We can talk about this anytime, okay?,” Donghyuck said.

Jaemin nods in reply, promptly saying goodbye before both of them part ways. Jaemin stays still in his spot, trying to assess how he feels right now. He still isn’t sure what he’s supposed to be feeling, and before he knows it, it’s almost time for his last period.

As Jaemin approaches his classroom, Jeno sees him along the hallway. The elder calls after him, while sprinting towards him. “Going to class?” He asked. Jaemin nodded at his question, still bothered by what he learned. 

“And you— are you just about to eat?” Jaemin asked the elder, pushing aside his thoughts for a moment. “Yeah, just got out of class,” the elder complained. Jaemin chuckles at that, “Remember— we still have the orientation for later,” he said, reminding Jeno of the organization’s welcoming meeting.

Jeno whines at the realization that the day was still not over. “We can go together,” Jaemin suggests. “You could eat first— then after my class ends, I’ll fetch you at the cafeteria before we go?” Jaemin said, to which he earns Jeno nodding his head frantically. 

“Thank you— I need someone to wake me up, I might fall asleep eating,” the elder says, snickering at the thought. Both boys laugh at that before parting ways.

  
  


Jaemin and Jeno have just arrived in the College of Arts auditorium after Jaemin had fetched Jeno from the cafeteria (yes, he was asleep). Jeno’s face was clearly amazed by how massive the auditorium was. 

Both of them take their seats, to which Chenle had seen both of them and sat next to Jaemin. Chenle and Jeno are then introduced before the welcoming orientation has begun.

“Welcome!” A loud voice had welcomed the applicants and the members, belonging to none other than the organization president, Qian Kun. 

Chenle and Jaemin along with other of the members had quickly stood up, already giving their president a standing ovation. Kun laughs at their antics before quickly dismissing them and proceeds with the orientation.

A long presentation about the organization’s history, vision, and mission had passed by and Kun was thanking everyone for coming.

“Before I end, I have a surprise for all of you— both applicants and members alike,” Kun had said, earning surprised looks from everyone. Jaemin and Chenle weren’t expecting a sudden announcement from the orientation, and were both attentively listening.

“Please come in!” Kun had exclaimed to all of them, pointing his hand to the auditorium’s entrance. Everyone had followed the direction of the president’s hand, all their voices silent, anticipating what was about to happen.

The doors opened to two figures, standing side by side before they made their walk towards the stage. Jaemin squinted his eyes to see both of their faces— the taller one was wearing glasses, cardigan over a collared shirt, all tucked under a pair of white pants. The other one was also wearing glasses, then acap, a cream colored oversized long sleeves, and a pair of black jeans. 

Once they were close enough, a collective gasp was heard in the auditorium.  _ Doyoung and Ten _ , Jaemin he thought to himself.  _ Doyoung, president of SMU’s Chorale,  _ and  _ Ten, president of All Stars, SMU’s multi-dance club. _

Kun had greeted both Doyoung and Ten once they reached the stage. “If you guys still aren’t familiar with them— Meet Doyoung and Ten,” he had said. “What do you think’s gonna happen?” Jaemin hears Chenle whisper to him, before he shrugs, focusing on the trio on the stage.

“You must have a lot of questions right now,” Doyoung had said before handing the microphone to Ten. “The three of us were friends since we were freshmen, and since we’re already graduating this year— We wanted to do something special,” Ten had explained, a glint in his eyes.

“The three of us decided to do a collaboration between the three organizations,” Ten continued, before passing the microphone to Kun, gesturing to him to finish. “We decided to—” Kun had started.

Everyone’s whole attention is now focused on them, waiting for Kun’s words.

“We decided to do— a whole live production!” Kun had exclaimed. “A production filled with singing, acting, and dancing!” Kun had finished excitingly.

Before they even get the chance to react, the entrance door opens to a crowd rushing in, all of them cheering. Jaemin, Chenle, and Jeno are confused at what’s happening, before Jaemin spots Dejun in the crowd.

“Jisung!” He hears Chenle shout, turning his head towards, immediately finding Jisung as well. Jaemin along with the others, started cheering as well, following both of the dance and singing club members’ antics.

“Jeno!”

Amidst the noise, Jaemin distinguishes the owner of that voice.  _ They know each other?  _ He asked himself before redirecting his gaze towards Jeno. 

He sees him— Renjun, in the middle of the crowd,  _ Why was he here? Is he part of the chorale? _ He thought, noticing that he was sprinting towards Jeno before he went to hug him. Shocked, Jaemin freezes on his feet, still staring at Jeno and Renjun.

Jeno notices Jaemin’s stare before he turns towards the pink haired boy, holding Renjun by his side. “Jaemin!” Jeno shouted, before both of them walk towards him.

“This is Renjun,” he introduced the smaller one, clearly oblivious to Jaemin and Renjun’s expressions. 

  
  
  


“My boyfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally all three of them are in the same scene, and boyfriend? Ooooh that’s gotta do something.
> 
> As you can notice is that from the hyung line, I really-really adore the 96-liners and that’s why I had them as presidents of their own clubs hehe


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope all of you are still reading and interested with the fic hehe.
> 
> There are some parts of this chapter and maybe future ones to come that will include singing scenes. With that said, there will be two pairs of slashes ‘//‘ that would contain the lyrics of the song that the person in question is singing.
> 
> I will also be linking you guys sound/videos that you could listen to while reading so it could be a ton more enjoyable hehe

_Boyfriend._

_Boyfriend—_ was the only thing roaming Jaemin’s thoughts ever since that orientation. To say Jaemin became awkward was an understatement, he recalls the events of last week, expression clearly dumbstruck and his voice stuttering. 

  
  


_After stuttering a hello, Jisung had approached them as well, calling Renjun’s attention. “Renjun hyung, were you so excited to see Jeno hyung?” The youngest snickered._

_They were joined by Chenle, clearly dubstruck at what had happened. “Jisung,” he called him, “Renjun gege— was the hyung you were talking about?” He asked him._

_“Oh yeah— he was the hyung I was talking about, we joined the dance club together,” the youngest said, beaming at Chenle before realizing how they knew each other._

_“We three were from the same school— three years ago,” Jaemin responds before Chenle continued explaining the situation. Jeno looked between Renjun and Jaemin, “I didn’t know you were friends before,” Jeno exclaimed, a smile oblivious to the tension._

_“Yeah— friends,” Jaemin had said, slightly scoffing, before he looked over Renjun._

_Yep, still bitter._

  
  


Jaemin grabs the pillow from his side and pressed it onto his face. He screams into the pillow in embarrassment, clearly not over what had happened. _Why did I have to act so immature?_

As he was having tantrums on his bed, Chenle walked in at the same time. Chenle looks at Jaemin putty before he nears him and smacks his head.

“Ow! What was that for?” Jaemin had said, tossing his pillow to the side. Chenle raises his eyebrows, “You?” He points out, “Why are you having a fit?” He asked, clearly thinking Jaemin’s antics were silly.

“I am not!” Jaemin huffed childishly as he puted. Chenle laughs at that and sat down on the elder’s bed. “No really— what’s up?” He asked, more sincerely this time. “Is this about what happened with Renjun last week?”

“Ugh! I don’t know why I’m acting like this,” Jaemin whines as he falls back onto his sheets. “We always have this talk and— I’m tired of not knowing how to feel,” Jaemin confessed to the younger. Chenle smiles at him endearingly, “Hyung—”

“I know, it’s okay to be confused— but I feel like I’m being annoying,” Jaemin explained, sitting up to face Chenle. “It’s okay hyung— that's why I’m here,” Chenle says, grabbing the other’s palms into his own. “We’re friends— you can always talk to me,” Chenle says, smiling softly.

“Yeah— and I’m grateful for it,” Jaemin replies back. “So— about Renjun?” Chenle asks, gently prodding at the elder’s thoughts.

“Apparently— Renjun and Jeno were boyfriends,” Jaemin starts, thinking about what to say next. “And I— I just don’t know If I’m jealous or not, and I acted like a jerk,” he explained.

“There’s this feeling in my chest— I don’t know what, but it is something,” he finished, looking at Chenle for his advice. “Oh hyung— I know you’re honest with your feelings, and that’s good,” Chenle reassures him, slowly rubbing their hands together.

“But I think— I’m not the one you should be talking to about this,” Chenle finished. Jaemin gulps at what Chenle means, _Should I talk to Renjun?_ He thought.

“I— I don’t know if I can,” Jaemin manages to reply. “I broke up with him— I don’t know if I still have the right to open up to him,” he continued, heart a bit heavy.

“Hyung— You need to if you want to figure out what you’re feeling,” Chenle insisted to him, squeezing his hands gently. “And hyung, you need to remember that— you and Renjun gege were friends first,” Chenle recalled. 

“Renjun gege will respect whatever it is you’re feeling.”

—————

For a whole week, Jaemin has been waiting for the right chance to talk to Renjun. He sees Renjun during their production meetings, but the elder is always with Jeno or Donghyuck, and Jaemin couldn’t get the opportunity to talk with him alone.

The week finally passes by without encountering Renjun and Jaemin has lost motivation, lounging around the apartment. He gets a text from Dejun, asking if he wanted to hang out.

Jaemin contemplates if he should go, when his feelings and thoughts are still quite a mess, but ultimately decides to go. He makes a quick change of his house attire to something casual but still presentable.

He quickly texts Chenle— _who was out with Jisung,_ saying that he was going to hang out with Dejun, before shoving his phone inside his pocket.

  
  


He arrives at where Dejun instructed him to go, _A music room?_ He thought to himself as he gently pushed the entrance door. He quickly scans the room and sees Dejun sitting in front of a piano from the far side of the room.

Dejun’s side facing him, he decided to prank the elder. He slowly tiptoed towards him when Dejun started playing the piano softly. The keys produce a mellow harmony, _it’s slow_ , Jaemin notes.

Dejun pauses playing for a while, before accompanying the piano with his voice. Humming along with the harmony before he started singing. [(Link to the song the first one)](https://youtu.be/1iykaaraAHs)

//She said, "Baby, I'm afraid to fall in love, 'cause what if it's not reciprocated?" I told her, "Don't rush girl, don't you rush, guess it's all a game of patience//

Jaemin feels his heart beat with Dejun’s voice. He’s heard the elder a few times before, but was only playing around. This time though— _he’s finally serious,_ Jaemin had thought.

//She said, "What if I dive deep? Will you come in after me? Would you share your flaws with me? Let me know"//

Jaemin stares at Dejun’s side profile, how the light softly touches his nose to his jaw. _He’s beautiful_ , Jaemin had accidentally whispered.

Dejun jumps in his seat, quickly turning his head towards the direction of the voice, only to see Jaemin. He visibly relaxes and slumps his shoulder before he sighs, “Jaemin— you could have said something.”

Jaemin chuckles at his hyung’s whining, before he goes near him. “Why did you want to meet here?” Jaemin asked him as soon as he sat down beside him on the stool.

“I wanted to ask for your opinion,” Dejun says sheepishly, shyly lowering his head. “Is this for the auditions?” Jaemin questions as he remembered that the auditions were coming up.

Dejun slightly shakes his head, lifting it to look at Jaemin, “No, I already have a song for that— this is for another thing,” he explained.

Jaemin could see how Dejun’s eyes would flick side to side, like he was nervous. He places his hand on top of the other, interlacing their fingers.

“You sound beautiful,” Jaemin said earnestly, smiling softly at him. Dejun’s cheeks are then painted with pink, clearly blushing at Jaemin’s words and actions.

“Your voice is great,” Jaemin reassures him. “Thanks,” Dejun utters out, finally able to respond. “It’s just that— nobody told me that before,” he clarifies to Jaemin.

Jaemin tilts his head at that, to which Dejun had replied, “I’m very insecure about my voice— so I don’t really like singing solo,” he finishes shyly.

“You don’t have to worry okay?” Jaemin says, squeezing the other’s palms, to which Dejun nods. “Do you want me to continue?” The elder asked meekly.

“Of course,” Jaemin responds, an endearing smile painted on his face. He let’s go of the elder’s hands. Dejun sits straight, clears his throat before repeating the verse where he stopped.

//I told her, "Thinking is all wrong Love will happen when it wants I know it hurts sometimes, but don't let it go"//

Jaemin notices the lyrics of the songs. _It seems like he’s talking about me,_ he thought to himself, before brushing it off as a coincidence.

Dejun’s voice is nice and smooth, he notes as he continues to listen. Dejun then pauses for a bit before turning his head to the side, looking Jaemin in the eye.

//'Cause I want you, I want you, I want- I want you

'Cause I want you, I want you, I want- I want you//

Jaemin freezes at that before his heart soars high. _Is he talking about me?_ He asks himself, can’t prevent the blush that crawls up towards his face.

“Cause I want you,” Dejun repeats, eyes never leaving Jaemin. Jaemin blinks his eyes multiple times, he doesn’t know what to do nor what to say, all he knows is his chest has been beating faster and faster and his ears keep ringing.

Dejun’s face starts to inch towards his slowly, eyes still locked to him. He stops in front of Jaemin’s face, neither of them saying anything. After a few seconds of complete silence, Dejun whispers, “Do you want me too?”

“I do.”

And Dejun leans in, their lips finally meeting for the first time. 

Jaemin doesn’t know what to do, sure he knew it was going to happen after he said ‘I do’. All he can think of now, is how Dejun’s lips were soft against his. How his body froze, scared that if he moved, even just a little, would ruin the moment.

Dejun could feel how Jaemin had frozen, hesitated— he dare assume before he made his way to move back. But as his lips were about to leave the younger’s Jaemin stretched his hands to his neck, kissing him back, as if he was saying ‘don’t go.’

Their lips move together— harmoniously even. Jaemin’s body finally relaxes and pulls Dejun closer, moving to deepen the kiss. Dejun responds just as well, kissing him back hard.

Jaemin’s skin was tingling all over, his body dripping in red as they continued kissing. Both of them were getting dizzy, quickly running out of oxygen before the kiss finally breaks.

Both of them broke apart, taking quick breaths— _in and out._ After catching their breaths, eyes still locked on one another, Jaemin smiles at the elder, thinking— _ah, I’m happy._

—————

After that eventful afternoon, Dejun and Jaemin had gone on dates throughout the whole week, practically seeing each other every single day. 

Sometimes they would go out to dinner, but most of the time, they lounge in Dejun’s apartment, singing songs together, holding hands, and sharing chaste kisses.

Jaemin had forgotten his worries from the previous week before. Everything had gone by smoothly and the auditions for the production had finally approached.

Everyone was notified by Kun, during their previous meetings what their musical production was. _”The production is going to be—” Kun teased the members, stalling of their curiosity._

_“Enchanted!— Enchanted the Musical!” Kun had exclaimed, earning a collective cheer from everyone. Enchanted,_ Jaemin had thought, was a fitting concept for them, knowing that Kun had wanted to transform the famous music heavy and dance packed movie into a musical production.

Jaemin had decided to audition for the main role— Robert. He thought about auditioning for Prince Edward as well, but he remembered Prince Edward had _singing lines,_ he had thought then.

Jaemin then proceeds to the audition stages, seeing Kun, Ten, and Doyoung— _all three of the presidents,_ at the judges table. “Say your name, year, and what role you’re auditioning for.”

“My name is Na Jaemin, second year Theatre arts major auditioning for the male lead— Robert,” Jaemin had announced onto the microphone smoothly.

“Okay Jaemin, whenever you’re ready,” Kun had said to him.

Jaemin’s audition act was pretty simple, he had wanted to relay to the panel that he could act light-hearted, sincere, and look confused— everything that Robert is. 

He re-enacted the scene from which Giselle gets angry at Robert for doubting her stories. One of his friends, Yeri, agreed to help him. Both of them decided just to use their names in the dialogue, instead of the character’s names.

“Look umm, Yeri,” He starts, earning her attention. “That was a nice story— about your chipmunk friend and all,” he continued, voice light and calm. “Yes,” Yeri responds, pretending to flip the pages of her imaginary book.

“You know, I know what it’s like when someone disappoints you,” He said to the other, his face acting like he was slightly bothered towards Giselle’s imaginary prince. 

“It’s tempting to see things the way you wished they were— instead of how they are,” he continued. He sees Yeri’s face, slightly in disbelief at what he said, _She’s good,_ he thought.

“I don’t wish that he’s coming Jaemin— He is,” Yeri clarifies to him, her smile slightly faltering. “Right— because the chipmunk told you,” he scoffed. “Yes, Pip actually said that he—” Yeri says but is interrupted.

“You know what— I don’t know if you’re kidding or being ironic,” he says, slowly inching towards her. “Because chipmunks— they don’t talk” he finished. “Well not here they don’t,” Yeri quickly defends.

“So in lieu of taking advice from a forest rodent— I just wanted to say that uh,” Jaemin paused for a second before continuing. “It did work out, and if you’ve decided to stay,” he continues, looking at Yeri’s eyes, “I’d like to help.”

“Well, that’s very kind of you Jaemin,” Yeri responds gratefully. “But Edward is coming for me,” she finished. “What if he doesn’t?” Jaemin had asked back. “Why do you keep saying that?” Yeri snaps, slightly annoyed.

“Because, I deal with this everyday,” Jaemin had said, slowly lowering down his gaze to match her level. “If a relationship has issues in the beginning— it doesn’t get any better,” he said as he gulped, slightly remembering his issues with a certain raven haired boy. 

“He is coming,” Yeri said firmly. “Yeri, I don’t think so— No,” Jaemin replied, as softly as he can. “Yes!” She blurts back. “I have to disagree— No,” he says, slightly raising the tone of his voice.

“No?”

“No.”

“Is that the only word that you know— No?” Yeri responds back, the tone of her voice getting higher as well. “No?” Jaemin questions back. “Oh yeah— No!” She snaps back.

“No! No! No!— over and over again,” She says, her body moving frantically. “Sometimes you make me so, so,” she starts. “So what?” Jaemin had asked, clearly confused.

“So, so, so— Angry!” She shouts at him, face serious before it breaks and she starts giggling. “I’m angry,” she continued, voice slightly higher. 

Confused, Jaemin looked at her, “Are you alright?” He asked. “I’m angry— I’m angry!” She realizes before smacking one of Jaemin’s shoulders. 

“Are you okay?” Jaemin asked incredulously. Yeri calms down after a moment, before inching closer towards him. “I’m wonderful,” Yeri had said softly, placing her palm on Jaemin’s chest gently. “Are you sure?” He asked, feeling her hands softly caressing his chest. 

“Yes, I’m fine.” Yeri said softly, looking at his eyes, before leaning closely, “It is a fiddle.” They inch together closely one more time before Jaemin breaks away. 

They stay in their positions for a while before facing front, bowing to the judges. Kun had immediately stood up, clapping his hands enthusiastically.

“That was great!” Kun said, earning both Jaemin’s and Yeri’s smiles. Ten and Doyoung had agreed with Kun. Both Yeri and Jaemin hugged briefly before stepping down the stage for the next auditions.

Dejun immediately dashed next to Jaemin, quickly hugging him. “You did great,” he whispered softly, to which Jaemin smiled at him back.

Chenle was up next. “I’m Zhong Chenle, 2nd year Business major, auditioning for Prince Edward,” he said onto the microphone. “Whenever you’re ready,” Doyoung had said to him.

“Chenle fighting!” Someone had shouted in the audience. Looking over, he sees Jisung waving his hands in the air, cheering for him. 

Chenle’s audition consisted of him dancing a routine for a few moments before singing a ballad song. _Interesting,_ Jaemin thought. It was no surprise to him that Chenle could sing, they knew each other since they were babies after all.

He was surprised at Chenle’s main choice for the production, and his choice for his audition piece. If Jaemin could describe Chenle’s voice, it would be pure.

Chenle’s singing felt like he was putting his heart out on display, for everyone to see and appreciate, _just like a Disney prince._

After Chenle finishes, Doyoung then stands up, clapping his hands vigorously, before snatching the microphone from Kun. Doyoung had calmed himself down for a bit, before speaking, “You know, I was kind of worried— For Edward’s character,” he confesses.

“It was such a risk to have a character that can sing, dance, and act— all at the same time,” He continues saying, looking at Chenle fondly. “But I think— I shouldn’t be worried anymore,” Doyoung finishes. 

Chenle lights up at that comment and quickly bows his head in thanks, before he stepped down to the stage and saw Jisung, hugging him. 

“You did great,” Jisung had said, which made Chenle blush profusely. “Thank you— for teaching me that quick dance routine in the beginning,” Chenle said, smiling softly at the younger before he buries his head on the taller’s chest.

_Cute,_ Jaemin had thought.

The auditions were all going smoothly. Yeri had come up once again on the stage, mildly shocking the judges, “Wasn’t the one with Jaemin your audition?” She agreed but explained that it wasn’t her main audition, she just helped Jaemin with his, and with that she began to sing.

The judges were shocked at Yeri’s wide range of skills and applauded her for the effort. Jaemin wasn’t looking at the next one to audition, busy chatting with Chenle when, “I am Lee Jeno, 2nd year Theatre major, auditioning for Robert.”

Jaemin was intrigued at that, he didn’t know Jeno was also auditioning for Robert— well, then again, most people would audition for the lead role. 

Jeno’s audition consisted of re enacting the same scene Jaemin did previously, with Lia— a new member of the theatre club. 

Jaemin notices that him and Jeno were pretty similar with how they interpret the scenes and the words as he observed him halfway into the scene. _Staying with the movie,_ Jaemin had thought.

However, near the end of the scene, Jeno didn’t break away just like Jaemin did. Jeno had stayed put instead, in his place, staring at his scene partner— Lia, as she inched herself closer, and closer, and closer. Until their faces were just a strand of hair away.

This made everybody focus intently, most of them thinking, ‘are they gonna kiss?’ and ‘that’s not in the script’. Jaemin was also focused on them, waiting for what would happen.

It was a few seconds of silence, of staying still, before both Jeno and Lia cast their eyes down towards the floor and broke away— ending the scene.

Choruses of ‘Awwww— why didn’t they kiss?’ Were heard among the audiences. The three judges were impressed as well, clapping their hands in approval.

“That was unexpected,” Kun started. “It was good— you made us believe that there was this tension you guys were feeling, that could not stop you from kissing,” he finishes.

“I applaud both of you,” Ten had said into the microphone, to which Lia and Jeno bowed in appreciation.

When Jeno had stepped down the side of the stage, he was tackled into a hug by none other than Renjun. Jaemin stares at how it unfolds, Renjun smiling at Jeno, saying “you did great,” and continues to hug him.

The scene had made his stomach act weirdly, _I’m not jealous am I?_ He asked himself before his side was elbowed by Chenle. He looks at the younger, mouthing “Stop— you’re staring.”

Jaemin then shakes his head after that, trying to grip on to what he’s feeling right now, and what he had felt whenever he was with Dejun. _I can’t be jealous, I have Dejun,_ he thinks before looking over once more to Jeno and Renjun.

It was supposed to be a quick peek, but as he turns his head towards them, he notices that they moved a bit back, into a more secluded area. He then decides to come closer, when a voice interrupts them.

“Renjun hyung!” He hears, then looks at the owner of the voice and sees Jisung, dashing over. Renjun and Jeno looked over and noticed how Jaemin was quite near them.

Jisung then steps toward them, looking back at Renjun and Jaemin, “You guys know each other?” The youngest had asked. Before either of them could explain, Chenle squeezes in besides him, “Yeah! We three were from the same high school,” Chenle quickly explains.

“Oh,” he blurted out, still confused but decided to reel himself from asking. “Ah!” Chenle exclaims beside him, “You know— we should go out for lunch, an early highschool reunion,” he suggested to everyone.

“That’s a good idea— Renjun said that he wanted to hang out with his old classmates,” Jeno replies, voice excited at the idea. “Hyung, you could go too,” Chenle said to Jeno before turning his head to Jisung, “You’re coming too!” He invited the younger. 

“I’ll call Hyuck,” Renjun says, joining in the conversation. “Speaking of calling— why don’t we all exchange numbers, so we could know when we are all free!” Chenle says excitingly.

Jaemin and Renjun look at each other for a second, before nodding. 

After the auditions, the three presidents have gathered all of the members for the announcement. “Hello everyone— as you may know, after a few hours of deliberations from us presidents,” Kun says, gazing at the membership before looking at Doyoung and Ten, the two of them nodding at him to continue.

“We’re now going to announce the cast members!” He exclaims, to which the three memberships cheered, choruses of gasps and shouts can be heard, their voices unable to contain their excitement and nervousness.

After everyone had calmed down for a bit, the three presidents went up to the stage, ready to announce the cast. Even though the acting roles were open for all of the participating organizations, members were mostly the ones who auditioned for them. The dance club and the chorale members had auditioned for the doubles of the lead roles, for when they needed to dance or sing during the production, and for the back-up dancers and singers.

“Ladies first— for the role of Edward,” Kun teases, to which everyone giggled at the silly joke. Jaemin could feel the younger’s hands, slowly intertwining their fingers together. He looks at the younger, his expression clearly nervous. He squeezes the younger’s hand, waiting for Kun.

“Chenle!”

He snaps out of his thoughts, hearing his friend’s name, slowly realizing that Chenle got the role. Both of them look at each other, faces clearly shocked and happy.

“You did it!”

“I did it!”

Both of them in a frenzy. He looks at the younger, smiling brightly from ear to ear, before he stretches his arm, hugging him tightly. “I’m proud of you Chenle-yah,” he whispers to his ear, smiling.

He let’s go of Chenle when he senses a particularly tall figure approaching them. Chenle let’s go of the hug, his eyes watering slightly before turning around slowly.

“Hi.”

“Hi, Jisung.” Chenle says sheepishly, looking at the younger earnestly. Jisung brushes his hand to Chenle’s face, wiping at the happy tears threatening to fall, “Aww you’re crying,” Jisung teases.

Chenle slaps his hand jokingly, before coming up to hug the taller. “Congratulations,” Jisung said to him as he tucks the younger under his arms. Jaemin coos at them, _cute,_ he says to himself.

The crowd cheers Yeri’s name, applauding her for a job well done as she gets chosen for Giselle’s role. Jaemin spots her by the end of the row as he slowly claps for her.

“And finally— for Robert,” Kun announces into the microphone, the rest of the members dribbling their hands, imitating a drumroll sound effect. 

Jaemin closed his eyes in anticipation, he could feel his ears ring and heart beat faster and faster, waiting. The silence was unbearable, it was as if time was going by much slower.

He tries to open his eyes, trying to peek at Kun in suspense. He opens his eyes to see everyone applauding, and jumping, most of them looking at his direction. Jaemin feels confused, _did he announce it already?_ He asks himself before feeling someone shake his shoulders.

“I knew you’d get it!” Chenle says loudly at his ear, before hugging him tightly. Jaemin could feel his heart drop to his stomach. _I got it?_

And it hit him.

“I got it!” He finally manages to say, hugging Chenle back in response, the both of them jumping up and down in glee after hearing the good news.

He then feels a poke at his side, looking at the direction he sees Jeno, smiling at him softly. “Congratulations,” the elder said to him, with not a single hint of any negative emotions. 

Jaemin returns a smile, thanking him. He feels his phone buzz in his pockets, He takes a look at it briefly after Chenle lets him go. He sees a text, _from Dejun hyung,_ he utters to himself, before clicking.

  
  


**Dejun hyung <3**

Congratulations! I knew you could do it ;]

Jaemin can feel his cheeks heat up, raising his head to look for Dejun. He sees his hyung looking at him, an endearing smile plastered on his face as he stares at Jaemin.

Jaemin smiles at him before moving his fingers to type in a quick reply. As he was about to hit send, his phone buzzes to another notification. He mindlessly looks at it before feeling his chest constrict.

_It’s from Renjun,_ he thought before gulping, hesitating whether or not he should look at it. Before he could change his mind, he quickly takes a peek at it.

  
  


**Renjun**

Congratulations, your hard work paid off :)

  
  


Jaemin can feel the ends of his fingers freeze and his lips tremble. He feels guilty, guilty for feeling some type of way because of Renjun’s text.

_It’s just a text, calm down,_ he says to himself, trying to shake off the feeling. 

  
  


After Kun had announced the rest of the cast members, they decided on meeting Wednesday and Friday afternoons for the practices, before he dismissed today’s meeting.

He and Chenle were walking out of the audition hall after saying goodbye to both Dejun and Jisung, when they were stopped, “Jaemin— wait!” Both of them turn to see Renjun, walking towards them.

“Can we talk— alone?” Renjun asked, his chest slightly panting. Chenle gives Jaemin a look before giving both of them space, “I’ll be going first— goodbye hyung, goodbye gege,” he said, waving his hand goodbye.

Jaemin and Renjun then move to a more secluded space. Jaemin is already dreading at what Renjun wants to talk about with him, his heart pounding in anticipation. Renjun seems to hesitate at what he wants to say but ultimately blurts it out.

“Do you still have feelings for me?”

“What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t actually plan the singing scenes to be written this way, but I was just so heavily interested with Xiaojun’s covers that I just couldn’t resist.
> 
> Oh, and if you guys are wondering why a music major like Renjun would sign up to a dance club asides from the fact that he also loves dancing, is because of Jisung.
> 
> The fact that he and Jisung are childhood friends, but Jisung went to another school for highschool. They were in the same ballet club as kids. During university, Renjun lost a bet to Jisung so that was why Renjun joined him.
> 
> I couldn’t find a way to put this in the actual fic without making it off topic? So yeah :]


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If ya’ll are curious for the other cast members, here they are ehehehe
> 
> Jaemin — Robert  
> Yeri — Giselle  
> Chenle — Prince Edward  
> Lia — Nancy  
> Jihyo— The Queen
> 
> For Jeno, since he auditioned for Robert as well, he got firt alternate/understudy

“What?”

Jaemin shakes his head in confusion,  _ did he hear that right? _ He thought to himself. “Wait, what did you say?” He asked the elder once again.

Renjun clears his voice as he looks his head down, “Do you still have bad feelings for me?” He clarifies to the other.  _ Oh,  _ Jaemin thought to himself. 

_ Why did I mishear that?  _ He scolded himself for jumping into conclusion just for hearing the words ‘still’, ‘feelings’, and ‘me’ in the same sentence.

“Why do you ask?” Jaemin finally manages to say to him. Renjun continues looking down, his hands clasped, clearly nervous. “It's just— I know things have been awkward between us since I came back.”

Jaemin gulps at that,  _ Renjun’s been thinking about it too.  _ “Yeah, it has been,” Jaemin confessed, scratching his neck. “And I— I don’t want this tension whenever we see each other.” Renjun explains to him.

“I don’t want us— freezing everytime we notice each other,” Renjun continues, finally looking him up in the eyes, before slowly walking towards him. 

Renjun grabs Jaemin’s hands, waiting for a response from him. “I— I agree,” Jaemin stutters out a reply. Renjun squeezes Jaemin’s hands before smiling at him.

“If we need to talk about anything— we can talk anytime, okay?” Renjun says, to which Jaemin nods. “Just so we wouldn’t make it awkward for everyone,” Jaemin responds to him and Renjun agrees.

“Just so we wouldn’t make it for everyone,” Renjun repeats in confirmation. They stay still for a while, neither one of them moving an inch, before Jaemin speaks up again.

“So—” He starts, to which Renjun tilts his head in question. “So?” He mimed the younger, wanting to know what he wanted to say. Jaemin hesitated for a moment, thinking if this is the right time to bring it up, but ultimately utters it out in the end.

“Friends?”

Jaemin sees Renjun’s smile twitch, almost faltering before the elder smiles widely. He feigns ignorance as Renjun shakes his hand in agreement, “Yeah,” Renjun says.

Jaemin notices how close Renjun is to him.  _ Should I hug him? _ He asked himself. He snaps out of his thoughts when Renjun slowly steps back, eyes still looking at him.

“I’ll see you for our lunch?” Renjun asked, recalling their previous conversation back in the audition hall. “Yeah,” Jeamin breathes out, before both of them proceed to walk out of the building.

Both of them bid their hands farewell, parting to their own ways. Jamin has his back turned towards the other when Renjun calls his attention. He turns around to see Renjun, his face plain before a smile was painted on his face.

“I’m really glad to see you,” Renjun had said, to which Jaemin awkwardly nods. Renjun proceeded to wave his hand before turning around towards home.

_ Me too,  _ he had wanted to reply, before making his way home as well. He looks above, noticing how the sky was painted by the setting sun with soft vermillion enveloped in pretty shades of lavender.

_ I think I'm finally okay. _

—————

Jaemin, Chenle, Donghyuck and Renjun finally meet up for their mini reunion lunch on a Tuesday. Donghyuck had brought Mark along, Chenle brought Jisung, and Renjun— Jeno.

Jaemin extended the invite to Dejun but unfortunately, had different free times during Tuesdays. 

To say it was awkward was an understatement. Most of them had kept the talking to a minimum, only Chenle and Donghyuck stirring the discussion.

_ But it was fine,  _ Jaemin thought to himself, smiling as he wasn’t avoiding Renjun at all this time. Fairly comfortable at having light chats and talks.

At one point, Chenle had asked Donghyuck a question, “Hyung, are you and Mark hyung—” Chenle stated daringly, eyes suggestive, to which Mark coughed. This caught the attention of the group and pointed their focus on the pair.

Both Donghyuck and Mark looked at each other, Mark’s cheek a bit pink. Donghyuck raises his eyebrows, clearly enjoying his hyung’s actions. “So, hyung— are we?”

“Are we what?” Mark responds. Donghyuck makes himself comfortable on his seat, before smirking at the other. “Dating?” Donghyuck finishes.

Mark’s face immediately reddens, stuttering for a moment before lowering his head.  _ He’s probably shy,  _ Jaemin had thought. Donghyuck laughs at his hyung’s action, grabbing his drink, “We aren’t— I’m just teasing him,” he said to them before proceeding to drink.

At that point, Mark mumbles something, to which Donghyuck noticed. “Hmmm?” Donghyuck asked, drink still in his mouth. Mark’s head suddenly raises up, looking at Donghyuck.

“Do you want to— date I mean?” Mark bravely asked despite the red painted on his cheeks. Donghyuck almost chokes at Mark’s daring statement, hearing excited cheers and squeals from the background.

“What?” Donghyuck blurts out, clearly shocked, his face now sporting a similar shade as Mark’s. Mark straightens his back, facing the other before grabbing Donghyuck’s hands, “Lee Donghyuck— would you like to date me?”

Everyone from the table was still, quietly anticipating Donghyuck’s answer.Jaemin notices how Renjun and Chenle were hiding their faces under their palms, silently snickering at the situation. 

Donghyuck finally manages to nod his head, clearly not used to being teased by Mark. Mark beams at Donghyuck’s actions, but he wanted to tease the younger further, “Hmmm? Speak up babe,” he said smugly.

Chenle immediately squeals at Jisung’s ear, clearly amused. “Yes,” Donghyuck blurts out, his head lowered. “Yes what?” Renjun interjects, liking how Donghyuck was acting this shy because of a boy.

“Yes Mark Lee!” Donghyuck exclaimed, looking Mark in the eyes. ”I would love to fucking date you!— Are you satisfied?” He finishes, expression clearly embarrassed.

“Yes,” Mark whispers before grabbing the other to a hug, whistling and cheers heard in the background. 

Once Donghyuck had calmed down, he reached over the table, smacking both Chenle and Renjun for embarassing him, to which both of them laughed.

Jaemin silently giggled at the scene, he was having fun with his friends, his heart finally felt light. 

_ Ah, I feel great. _

—————

Ever since then, the seven of them would eat lunch every Tuesdays whenever they were free. It became a routine for them to meet and eat lunch at this time.

Jaemin was grateful at how things were turning out. He now has more friends, was able to be closer to Donghyuck and most importantly— Renjun.  _ After all these years, me and Renjun just needed to talk, so everything would be fine, _ he thought to himself.

He and Dejun were also doing great, they hung out a lot more often than before. Going on dates or lounging around the music room, listening to Dejun’s singing. They also share a few kisses, here and there,  _ just a peck,  _ he notes to himself.

But Jaemin can’t help but think,  _ Are they dating? _ as he recalls the state of his and Dejun’s relationship.  _ I know we talked about being casual, _ he thought, remembering Dejun’s words that night they had dinner.

Jaemin has been looking for the right time to bring it up with Dejun, but was worried that maybe he’s being too forward,  _ too fast with his feelings.  _

A crowd of cheers and whistles snaps him out of his thoughts. He looks at the gathered crowd in front of their booth,  _ It’s already that day of the year,  _ he thinks to himself.

_ The cut-throat fundraising competition. _

Jaemin remembers last year’s fundraising challenge, the booth that collects the highest amount of money, obtains royalty to a school facility. 

He recalls losing first place to the dance club— All stars, by a huge margin, losing the College of Arts auditorium for practices. Well, having a theatre night wasn’t necessarily the best way to collect money, since most students would rather watch the other performance night concerts than to watch a play.

But this year, Kun had said during one of their meetings that they would be doing something different. Something simple, yet draws a lot of attention. Most of the members had cheered at Kun’s words.

But Kun didn’t mention the fact that—  _ we would be submerged in water, _ Jaemin said to himself, looking at the big dunk tank booth in front of him, earlier in the morning.

Kun was overjoyed at the long line of students, mostly female students, waiting to dunk their chosen Theatre member into the water. 

Jaemin didn’t see how Kun was jumping up and down from the overwhelming reaction as he fell down into the water. He can’t even remember how many times has he been dunked into the water as he clings on to the edges of the plastic abomination.

As he climbs out, he notices Kun was walking towards him. “Why did you pink a dunk tank?” Jaemin whines at Kun, clearly not satisfied being soaked in water, every few minutes.

Kun laughs at Jaemin’s expression,“It wasn’t my idea originally— Xuxi was the one who suggested it,” he said to the younger, both of them looking at Yukhei climbing up onto the dunking seat.

Yukhei notices both of them, waving his hand towards them. “I told you people would love it,” he shouted before getting dunked down into the water.

“We are so taking first place!” Kun exclaims, clearly amused at how things are doing. He looks at Jaemin before he grabs his shoulders and starts shaking him. 

“I knew this was going to be a great idea,” he says, grinning. “With how you, Jeno, and Xuxi are part of the club— we’re totally going to win this!”

You see, Jeno, Jaemin, along with Yukhei have been the top 3 choices for the dunk tank. Something about seeing these handsome boys with their wet clothes clinging onto their body was apparently attractive for the students.

The crowd of students watching cheered one more time as Jeno was dunked into the water. “Why do you even want to win this?” Jaemin questions, looking at the elder.

“Revenge,” Kun said darkly, eyes narrowing at the booth across from theirs. Jaemin follows his eyes and scoffs at what he sees, “But hyung— we have a production collaboration with both the chorale and the dance club,” he says.

“It’s not going to be wise if we kick them out of the auditorium during practices,” Jaemin reasons. The elder looks back at Jaemin, “It’s not about who gets the royalty— it’s about pride,” Kun said to him, eyeing something that was behind Jaemin. 

Jaemin turns around and sees Ten, Doyoung, along with some of their members approach their booth. The tension between the three presidents was quite high.

“A dunk tank— really?” Ten scoffs at Kun incredulously, clearly baffled at the  _ cheap _ , Ten thought, contraption that was in front of him. “Why— scared you’re gonna lose?” Kun snaps back at him, inching forward slowly at Ten.

Doyoung interrupts both of them and gets in between the two. “Asides from who gets the royalty,” Doyoung starts. “The winning team can make a request from both of the losing teams— right?,” he reminds them of the bet.

“Right,” both Kun and Ten responds at that. The three of them look at each other one more time. They make neck slashing gestures and their eyes seemingly throwing daggers at each other, before they go back to their own booths.

“What was that about?” Chenle asked after seeing what had transpired between the three presidents. “Something about a bet,” Jisung responds, as he comes near,

“Hey— aren’t you cold?” Renjun had asked Jaemin, once he was close enough. Jaemin brushes it off, “I’m fine,” he says, reassuring the other.

Both of them stay quiet for a while, seeing both of their friends approaching the dunk tank as well. “So— You and Jeno?” Jaemin asks him, trying to make conversation.

“Oh— yeah,” Renjun replies sheepishly, hand scratching his arm, suddenly awkward at Jaemin’s question. “He’s nice,” Jaemin says, immediately regretting it, as he feels a slight pang on his chest when Renjun smiles.

“He is— the nicest,” Renjun corrects him, voice a bit teasing. Jaemin then chuckles at Renjun, seemingly implying that Jeno treated him better  _ than him,  _ he thought to himself.

_ If he wants to play. _

“Yeah, he is— he’s also really sweet,” Jaemin responds, a slight grin present on his face. Renjun tilts his head at that, “Yeah?” He asked, slightly nervous.

The younger hums in response, “He told me how this boy— inspired him to take theatre for university,” He starts, pacing around the elder. Renjun clears his throat at his statement, clearly knowing what the other was talking about.

Jaemin inches towards him, sporting a full on grin. “The boy didn’t even do theatre— said that he admired someone from the past who does theatre,” Jaemin continues, feeling very smug.

“That’s cute,” Renjun utters out, trying to feign ignorance to what Jaemin was implying. “Uh huh— Jeno said he took theatre because he wanted to be the person the boy admired most,” he finishes triumphantly.

Renjun nods in reply, his throat feeling too tight to emit a sound. Jaemin snickers at that, holding in his laugh, “So, tell me— Were you the boy?” He asked.

Renjun feels his heart pound, hesitates for an answer, obvious that Jaemin’s just trying to prod at him. “I am— okay?,” he snaps back at him, his head lowered, hoping that Jaemin would get the point and back down.

“So it was you?” Jaemin says teasingly, clearly not backing down. Renjun’s body stays frozen, biting his lower lip at Jaemin’s mockery. Jaemin decides to poke at Renjun one more time, tries to get bolder one more time, “I didn’t know the person you admire the most did theatre,” he says, voice dripping in sarcasm.

Renjun’s body visibly shakes at the other’s words, trying to hold himself back from retaliating. Jaemin’s laugh dies down when he sees the elder’s action, feeling slightly guilty.

Jaemin hears the elder make slight noises. The elder was clearly choking down the sounds threatening to leave his mouth.

“Hey— I was just teasing,” Jaemin says to him, his hand slowly approaching the elder’s shoulder. Renjun immediately slaps his hand away, bringing his head up, looking straight at Jaemin. His eyes are hard and slightly brushed red.

He is seething at him, before he closes his eyes for a brief moment, calming himself down and looks at Jaemin once again.

“You’re right,” the elder starts, his voice more relaxed. “And I’m sorry you didn’t know that part of me,” he licks his lips as he replies. Jaemin freezes at Renjun’s words.

“I’m sorry that you didn’t know— didn’t know that you were the one I had admired most from all the years we’ve known each other,” the elder continues, voice slightly trembling.

Jaemin’s insides were turning, very guilty at what he insinuated. “Wait, I didn’t mean to—” Jaemin tries but gets interrupted by Renjun’s hand, brushing him off.

“You don’t have to worry,” the elder scoffs, straightening his back before raising his eyebrow. “The person I admire the most— It’s not you anymore,” he finishes, voice dripping in venom.

Jaemin felt his heart shatter at that, he didn’t mean to push the elder this far. “Renjun, I really didn’t mean to,” he says, trying to appease the elder.

Renjun huffs, before rolling his eyes, “Yeah right,” he bites back. Jaemin leers his eyes onto him, slightly offended. He was about to snap back when Renjun shook his head.

“Let’s not talk about this anymore,” he blurts out, “Go back to your booth— I think they’re calling you,” the elder says, excusing himself before moving away from Jaemin.

Jaemin groans at that, clearly annoyed written across his face. Annoyed at Renjun, and maybe at himself for bringing up something sensitive. He snaps out of his thoughts when the crowd cheers, and makes his way back.

Donghyuck and Mark approached Chenle who was operating at the payment booths along with another theatre member— Felix.

“Hi!” Chenle beamed, welcoming both Mark and Donghyuck to their dunk tank booth. “You get two tries at throwing the ball to dunk your chosen theatre member in the tank,” he finished explaining.

Donghyuck had bought 1 ticket and made his way to the throwing area. He faces Mark beside him, giving him a mischievous look before facing front. 

“I choose Yukhei!” He practically announces to everyone. Donghyuck eyes the way Yukhei’s arms were defined and wet, and how his tank was clinging onto his gorgeous physique.

“You look hot,” Donghyuck whistles at the older, to which Mark had reacted cutely, “Hey! I’m right here you know?” He huffed at Donghyuck, almost pouting.

“Mark— bro!” Yukhei shouted as he went up to his seat. “Don’t worry— I already have him!” He exclaimed, pointing at someone. Both Mark and Donghyuck turn their faces to the direction, seeing a blushing Jungwoo.

The crowds cheer at Yukhei’s boldness to which Donghyuck and Mark chuckled at. 

Donghyuck didn’t have to try hard at throwing the ball, hitting the target with ease, as Yukhei fell into the water once again.

He looks at Mark briefly before whispering, ”I want to see you like that too— hot, messy, and wet,” the younger teased. He starts walking away, wasn’t able to see how Mark’s face had flamed up.

Next in line was Jisung, he had chosen Chenle to dunk into the water, to which Chenle was shocked. He wasn’t expecting to be dunked, as he was placed in the payments booth, but ultimately agreed.

Jisung missed the first shot, earning a laugh from Chenle. “How could you actually miss that!” He mocked the younger, to which he mindlessly threw the other ball.

Luckily enough, it managed to hit the target, resulting in a soaking wet Chenle. Jisung laughed at the other’s state, clinging onto the edges of the plastic tank.

Chenle had climbed out of the tank to which he was met with Jisung with a towel at hand. Jisung slowly patted Chenle dry before the elder thanked him, proceeding to join the payments booth once again.

Kunhang had also lined up at the booth, immediately picking Jaemin as his victim. Jaemin tries to distract him by mocking the other and throwing insults, but proves to be ineffective as he suddenly falls down.

Jaemin clung onto the edges, hearing Kunhang, “You know I played baseball back in high school— right?” He utters out, laughing at the other’s state before leaving.

Jaemin just got out of the tank when he hears his name get chosen again. “Again?” He complains, before looking at the person next in line— Dejun. 

“Are you ready for a swim?” Dejun had said mockingly to him, to which Jaemin pouts. Jaemin slowly walked around the tank, approaching the stairs once again. 

“Hyungggg,” he whines at Dejun. But the elder wasn’t budging, a smug smile plastered across his face. Jaemin hesitates for a moment as he was about to climb onto the seat before turning his head to the elder one last time.

“Hyung— I’ve been dunked so many times since morning,” he says, voice purposely sounding cute and small. “And my clothes are soaking wet,” he says to the elder.

Dejun outright smirks at that, before opening his mouth.

“Then take it off.”

Jaemin’s face burns red in shock, clearly dumbstruck at the words that came out from his hyung. Jaemin stays frozen in his spot, gulping at Dejun’s challenging eyes.

Dejun snickers at the younger’s reaction, “You can keep your shirt on,” he starts as he slowly made way towards him. “But you still owe me from that gift I gave you— back then,” he whispers at Jaemin’s ear.

Jaemin’s ears are ringing non stop at Dejun’s boldness before he gets a hold at himself, locking eyes with the older. “I mean— is that a request?” He starts, fighting back.

“You could just say— you want it off hyung,” he finishes with a grin painted on his face.  _ I win,  _ he thought to himself as Dejun stays quiet and lowers his face down.

But then, Dejun shot his head up one more time, looking at Jaemin dead in the eye, before the corner of his lips tug upwards.

“I want it off.”

The crowd had cheered and squealed at Dejun’s daring words, waiting for what Jaemin intended to do.

_ I lost,  _ Jaemin had thought before looking back at Dejun. He sees Renjun at the corner of his eyes, looking at him— face neutral, before smirking, bringing his attention back to Dejun.

He slowly grabs at the edges of his shirt, before slowly tugging the material off. Dejun was focused on how the wet cloth would stick onto the skin of Jaemin’s lean physique.

_ Of course he has abs,  _ Dejun thought to himself, eyes travelling upwards from the edge of Jaemin’s waistband, at every inch revealed. Stares at how the liquid drops of water glide down at every ridge.

The younger then slips his head out of the shirt, shaking his wet hair out of his way, before throwing the shirt at Dejun. He sees Dejun blush for the first time today. At the same time, he quickly peers to his side, seeing Renjun’s face hard but sporting a similar blushing look.

He maintains his grin, then proceeds to climb on to his seat, heart pounding at what he just did, blush slightly painted on his cheeks and chest.

Jaemin tries to distract the elder by throwing teases, and it worked as Dejun missed the mark for his first try. “Hyung— don’t worry if you don’t hit the target,” he says.

“I’ll just jump down from here— seeing that you really want to see me wet,” he says, emphasizing on ‘really’, before winking at him. Dejun snickers at Jaemin’s words, reeling his hand back for the throw.

BANG!!!

The loud noise from the ball hitting the wooden target rings in Jaemin’s ear. He doesn’t realize it before his seat plunks down, his body falling down to the water, barely missing the smirk on Dejun’s face.

As Jaemin climbs out of the tank, he’s met with Dejun nearing him. “Hi,” Jaemin said sheepishly before a strong breeze hit his wet state.

Dejun sees how the other visibly shakes, probably at the wind, not hesitating to peel off the jacket he was wearing— hurriedly clothing Jaemin, shielding him from the cold. 

“Wear this,” the elder says, while fixing the jacket on the younger properly. “Thanks,” Jaemin says sheepishly, blush decorating his cheeks at the gesture.

Dejun ruffles his fingers through Jaemin’s hair, helping him get dry, before tucking the strands out of the younger’s face. Jaemin beams at the action to which he smiles back.

“Renjun gege!”

Jaemin and Dejun’s little moment was interrupted as Jaemin swing’s his head around, looking at Renjun talk to Chenle in front of the payment booth.

After explaining the instructions, Renjun blurted out a quick ‘Jeno,’ when he was prompted to pick. The small crowd had cheered when they saw Jeno approaching the dunk tank for the nth time today.

Jeno had wanted to lift up the crowd’s mood just a tad bit higher. He then proceeds in lifting the edge of his shirt to supposedly wipe the sweat on his forehead, teasing his well built torso.

The group of students had squealed at the action, chanting ‘take it off’ over and over again. Jeno had laughed at the situation before looking at Renjun approaching the hitting pitch.

Jeno smiles at him, “Should I?” He shouts at the elder, grabbing the edges of his shirt with both hands, motioning to take it off. Renjun chuckles at the other’s antics before he got to thinking,  _ should he? _

Renjun then notices from his side that Jaemin was looking at him directly, which gave him an idea. He glances at Jaemin’s eyes, briefly looking at the way they slight twitch, before raising his eyebrows.

Renjun then scoffs before saying, “It doesn’t matter,” voice taunting, before looking back at Jeno. “I see it everyday anyways,” he exclaims a little bit loud, just so the people around them could hear.

Screams and teasing could be heard in the background, but Renjun doesn’t care, he’s satisfied seeing the look on Jaemin’s face. Jeno grins at the screams, keeping his shirt on (to everyone’s dismay), before taking his seat.

Renjun hits the target immediately in his first turn, laughing at how Jeno plops down into the pool. 

“Renjun!” He gets interrupted by Sicheng— the vice president for the dance club. “Hey— let’s get going lover boy,” the elder exclaims from their booth. “We still need to do dry rehearsals for tonight’s concert.” He finishes.

Renjun shouted in acknowledgement, looking back at Jeno drying himself, sends him a wink before jogging off to prepare for tonight’s performance.

Jaemin looks at Renjun’s backside as the other makes his way back to their booth. He snaps out of his thoughts when Dejun explains he needed to practice too.

“See you later at the concert?” Dejun asked him as he was slowly backing away. Jaemin then realizes then and there that he would also have to see Renjun’s performance— as the chorale and dance club always organizes a joint performance night.

  
  


Jaemin clears his voice before looking at Dejun, waving his hand goodbye.

“See you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe ya’ll caught me with those shirtless scenes :] We all need aa shirtless Jaemin in a fic AHAHAHA 
> 
> Hope you guys are still reading :] comments are very much appreciated :>>>


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The words in between two pairs of slashes ‘//‘ would either be the lyrics or title of the song that the character/s in question are singing.
> 
> I will also be linking a playlist of videos I referenced for the performances. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy!

After a long day of getting wet at the dunk tank booth, they had finally closed after their last customer dunked Jaemin (of course she had to choose him) one more time into the pool.

Chenle along with the help of Yangyang— who came to visit them before closing, were counting down the number of ticket stubs they had sold for the fundraising.

Kun had been feeling nervous by the time Chenle had started counting the number of tickets. Since their tickets are much cheaper than the tickets for the concert night, they must have at least twice the number of tickets sold than the other two.

Chenle and Yangyang had dropped the final tickets into the counting box. “How many did you count from your side?” Chenle asked the elder, fingers tapping against the wooden desk.

“Four hundred and fifty,” he says, looking at his paper as he carefully recalled the notes he had written. “You?” The elder asks as Chenle grabbed his phone, calculating the rows of numbers he had jotted down.

Chenle presses the equal button before his lips tug upward, looking at Kun, “Four hundred and seventy-four,” he announced, to which everyone had started cheering loudly.

“Oh my gosh! We sold nine hundred and twenty-four tickets!” Kun had shouted, clearly happy with the results. “Xuxi, Jeno, Jaemin!” He called them loudly, before hugging the trio. “You guys did great!” He praises. 

The three of them smile at Kun’s joy, even if they were very exhausted at having to fall into water almost several hundreds of times.

“But Kun hyung— the concert capacity is for 500 attendees” Chenle reminds him, interrupting Kun’s early mini celebration. “Since their tickets are more expensive than ours— if they manage to fill up the venue, we’ll lose.” He explains.

The rest of the members gasp at the realization, slightly questioning themselves if they’re still going for tonight’s concert. Kun clears his voice, earning the attention of the membership.

“We worked hard for this,” he started, meeting everyone’s gaze towards him. “But they worked hard too,” he says smiling. “Most of their members supported our dunk tank booth today— we should too.” 

“Remember— this day, we’re supposed to be having fun, and that’s our priority, okay?” He finishes, to which everyone had cheered. “But Kun gege— if we manage to win in the end,” Chenle starts, a mischievous thought painted clearly on his face. “It’s our turn to dunk you into the water,” the younger exclaims to which cheered from the membership erupted.

The eldest chuckles at that, smiling at all of them, “If we win.” He promises, before all of them head towards the concert hall.

  
  


As the theatre club entered the concert hall, Jaemin immediately noticed how packed the concert hall was. It was quite expected as they already heard the crowd from the outside of the venue.

The theatre made their way to their section, luckily enough their section was reserved earlier by the two organization presidents in question.

Jaemin checked the time on his phone, _6:28, it’s almost starting,_ he thought as he peered his head towards the backstage, trying to look for Dejun.

He sees the elder talking to Doyoung by the technical box. “Dejun hyung!” He shouts, trying to get the attention of the elder, waving his hand as high as he can.

After a few calls to his name, Dejun manages to hear and see Jaemin across from where he was, jumping up and down as he waved his hand. He immediately beams at the younger before he waves back.

“Ahem!”

They were interrupted by a loud voice ringing from the speakers of the venue. Jaemin sees Jungwoo and Kunhang making their way to the stage, as the lights dramatically focus on the duo.

“Welcome to our annual fundraising concert!” Both of them announced, briefly introducing themselves as their emcees for the night. The crowd cheers at them, excitement laced with each and every one of their voices.

After hyping the crowd up, Jungwoo was saying his early goodbyes. Where Yukhei pointedly screams, “Jungwoo I love you!”. Kunhang laughs “Let’s all say goodbye to Jungwoo,” he says, waving his hand towards the other.

“Are you ready?” He shouted into the mic, to which loud choruses of ‘yes’ and ‘ready’ were heard inside the venue. Kunhang shows them one of his signature smiles, beaming to the audience before shouting.

“Let us now welcome the 2020 SMU Chorale!”

The venue light slowly dims down along with the cheers of the audience, slowly anticipating what was going to happen next. Suddenly, a spotlight shines on the stage, ominous choruses of humming sounds along with footsteps, loud enough to start a beat.

A figure approaches the area, shone in light by the stage. He was wearing a white mask over his whole face, dressed in an all black garment.

The man in question raises his right hand slowly. The crowd’s attention focuses on the man’s hand, trailing slowly upwards, before closing his fist forcefully, silencing the prominent humming sounds as well as the audience’s voice. 

The silence is deafening and Jaemin can feel his ears ring in anticipation. He sees the figure on the stage lowering his hand to the back of his head, before he unexpectedly snatches off the mask covering his face.

_It’s Doyoung._

Jaemin feels his skin tingle at the revelation, clearly amazed at how the chorale decided to open the concert night. Doyoung has his eyes closed, body still on his feet, actions heightening the suspense.

After a while of silence, Doyoung opens his eyes as the background music starts. _It’s a slow melody,_ Jaemin notes to himself, as he observes the older’s actions.

Doyoung raises his microphone for him to hum along the melody before opening his mouth to start singing.  
  


[(Link for the playlist)](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuRiw_jNBRjlJ31Bxr9RdgNUGL2IXgjjj)

//Poker Face//

Jaemin sucks in a breath, feeling every bump of his skin rise because of the elder’s clear and pristine voice. _It’s clean, it’s very clean,_ he says to himself, pertaining to the smooth voice that comes out of the elder’s mouth.

When Doyoung hits the high note, his voice reverberates all over the concert hall, to which the audience has roared loudly in response. All of them feeling their skin prickling with goosebumps.

Doyoung raises both of his hands, to which a louder and more clear humming sound was heard. The rest of the chorale can be seen stepping into formation on the stage, heads bowed down, all of them marching from the darkness due to the dimmed stage lights.

Jaemin hears Chenle beside him exhale a ‘woah’, the younger’s face clearly amazed by the events. Jaemin can hear Jungwoo’s voice take over, singing the lyrics Doyoung had sung earlier while the rest of the members’ vocalization is slowly increasing in intensity as they take their position.

Jaemin extends his head upwards, trying to look for Dejun once again before he spots him near the corner of the formation. He also sees Donghyuck, situated exactly at the middle of the nine-columned formation. In front of Donghyuck’s line was where Mark was positioned.

Doyoung had then turned his back from his audience to face the chorale members, instructing them with his hands. The elder motions for the chorale to louden their voice, each passing second.

Doyoung raises both of his hands once again, making the members sing and maintain a high note, before closing both of his fists, signalling to stop singing.

The spotlight (the only main source of light), goes off as well, startling the audiences _in shock or amazement,_ Jaemin wasn’t sure. Next, the throb of the original background instrumental of Poker face started playing, accompanied by the flickering of strobe lights and effects.

The venue lights finally turn all the way on. Jaemin blinks his eyes a few times, trying to adjust his eyesight to the sudden flooding of light. 

In the twist of events, when Jaemin finally focuses on the stage, he sees the chorale members moving their hands and bodies in similar choreography— making robot-like, zombie movements along the beat of the background music.

Jaemin gapes his mouth in surprise, _the chorale is dancing?_ He asks himself in disbelief. He snaps out of his thoughts to Chenle’s hands, excitingly slapping his arms in amazement.

Jaemin can’t believe what he’s seeing right now and it seems like the crowd shared his thoughts as they all shout excitedly in disbelief, that Doyoung would include choreographies in their performance.

The chorale had started singing the first verse of the song, still accompanied by layered synchronized movements. Doyoung had now joined in the movements as well, which puts a smile on Jaemin and Chenle’s face, clearly fascinated.

For a particular line, all of the members had pointed their hands towards the other corner of the formation, revealing Jungwoo, as he steps out of formation, continues singing the pre chorus, and makes kissy faces to the crowd (Yukhei). 

Jaemin and the rest of the members squeal at that, teasing and poking fun of Yukhei— who was clearly enjoying what Jungwoo did.

And when the chorus of the song finally hits, their formation splits into two, with Donghyuck posing fashionably in the middle, earning cheers from Jaemin and the rest. He now takes over singing the chorus, simultaneously still performing the choreography.

Even as the dance steps get a tid bit complicated, Donghyuck’s singing voice still maintains stability, perfectly hitting and sustaining those notes. _He’s good,_ Jaemin whispers to himself.

He was expecting the second verse to follow after the chorus but unexpectedly, everyone puts on a mask, similar to that of Doyoung’s earlier. A row of masked chorale members stepped in front.

The person in the middle takes off his mask, revealing his face— _Mark,_ Jaemin recognizes, before Mark starts rapping the lines. The whole crowd went crazy for him, cheering his name repeatedly until he finished.

Doyoung had then started a long horizontal line across the stage, all of the members singing and marching onto their places. All of them sing-talking ‘po-po-po-po-poker face’ repeatedly, making layered poses. As their voices start lowering they make it to their positions. All of them stomps their feet in time (left and right), as they bring their arms up to salute when the song finally ends.

There was a brief moment of silence before the crowd went wild. Jaemin and Chenle have been jumping up and down in earnest. Jaemin sees Dejun at the corner of his eyes before beaming a smile towards the elder.

Fortunately enough, the elder sees him and reciprocates the gesture. Chenle turns over to him, almost screaming into his ears. “I can’t believe that was just the opening!” 

Jaemin nods in agreement and sees the next performer or _performers,_ he should say set up on stage. He sees Mark, grabbing a mic stand and a stool to sit on, followed by Donghyuck behind him, also carrying a microphone, a stool and a guitar.

After setting up quickly, Mark leans into the microphone smiling, “How are you guys doing tonight?” He asks and the crowd cheers in response, clearly enjoying how the concert was going so far.

“And what about that guy that rapped in the opening— he looked hot, didn’t he?” Donghyuck exclaims into the microphone looking at the elder, a smirk on his face. 

It doesn’t help Mark’s reddened face when the audiences react to what the younger had said— heard clapping, shouting, and whistling at Donghyuck’s words.

Jaemin and Chenle along with the rest giggles at Mark’s expression. Mark clears his throat into the microphone, voice with a hint of shyness, “So— both of us we’ll be singing for you.”

“Obviously enough,” Donghyuck interjects, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. “Both of us will be singing our favorite song— the first song we ever sang together,” Mark continues, smiling softly at Donghyuck to which the crowd coo at.

Donghyuck looks at Mark’s eyes, cheeks also painted with a similar tone to the elder’s before nodding at him as he hands him the guitar— signalling to start.

Mark starts playing the guitar, producing light tunes. Donghyuck waves his head and hums along the guitar before he starts to sing.

//Billionaire//

The crowd cheers at Donghyuck, trying to act cute in front of everyone, especially to Mark. He pinches Mark’s cheek while singing, because he knew Mark couldn’t place his guitar down to playfully get revenge.

When Donghyuck had started to sing the chorus and hits the notes that are starting to get high, Mark glances at him lovingly, a full on smile decorated on his face.

“Oh yeah! Mark Lee in the house!” The elder exclaims into the microphone, getting everyone to cheer at him before he starts rapping.

Mark’s rapping has always been smooth, always going on the flow of the beat. This was one of Donghyuck’s favorite parts of Mark, as he smiles at him, recalling how both of them would sing this song last year after they met.

Donghyuck snaps out of his thoughts when Mark suddenly tweaks one of the lyrics, “It’s been a long time Donghyuck-ah,” he said to him, while maintaining his flow.

If Donghyuck’s heart tugs at Mark’s words, he doesn’t show it as he continues singing the parts they’ve practiced.

Jaemin is in awe at Donghyuck and Mark’s chemistry is onstage, the way Donghyuck would sing the lyrics pristinely and the way Mark would freestyle rap, easily blending with Donghyuck’s singing.

_Oh— they’re in love, in love,_ Jaemin thought, feeling the light and playful emotions being emitted from the two performers.

Their performance was winding down to a slow stop after Donghyuck and Mark had sung the last chorus. Donghyuck looks at Mark, locking eyes with him before he sings that last of his lyrics.

//I wanna be a billionaire//

Mark grins at the other, strumming his guitar softly as he asks, “How bad?”

//So freaking bad//

As the last sound from the song left Donghyuck’s mouth, the crowd immediately applauded the duo. Both of them are looking at each other, faces clearly happy and overjoyed after finishing the song.

It was Chenle that got the crowd roaring when he shouted. “KISS HIM!” That got both the attention of the crowd and the boys on stage and the next second the people were shouting ‘KISS’ on the top of their lungs.

Donghyuck hesitates for a moment— thinking that yes he would be fine with it, but if the elder would be fine if they did it too. But before he knows it, Mark places his hands on his chin, turning Donghyuck to face him, eyes saying something.

Donghyuck understood quickly and gave Mark the tiniest of nods, enough to not go unnoticed by the elder. It was a split second before Mark leaned in and touched his lips with his.

It was a quick kiss, couldn’t even call it a kiss if he dares, but it was fine for Donghyuck. Everything was fine. 

The crowd immediately cheers at the shown affection on stage. Chenle screeches his signature dolphin laugh right into Jaemin’s ear. And Jaemin, he was happy for them.

Donghyuck had snuck in a quick peck for himself before both of them were escorted down by Kunhang, to which everyone laughed happily.

“Wow— the chorale did such a great job, am I right?” Kunhang asks into the microphone as Jungwoo follows behind him, walking across the stage funnily, imitating the thug cats from tom and jerry.

“Yeah— I wonder how the— ‘All stars’ club will top that?” Jungwoo teased the other, both hands in the air making quotation marks. The crowd laughs at the playful feud between representatives of both clubs.

“You see,” Kunhang starts, looking at the other. “We brought in some big guns this year,” he says onto the microphone, a grin tugging the corners of his lips.

Jungwoo shows him the same grin before he replies, “then let’s call on stage the big guns— what do you think everyone?” He asked the audience. Jaemin shouted in excitement along with the audience.

“Put your hands together for Park Jisung—”

“And All Stars Alumni, Kim Jongin!”

Both emcees had shouted at the same time. This caught Chenle’s attention, he didn’t expect Jisung to perform at this time, much less with a legendary alumni of the dance club.

Jaemin could hear Kun shout near him, “Kai? That’s cheating!” He exclaims. Ten suddenly pops up near him, with a teasing look on his face, “No one said— we couldn’t invite alumnis?” He says to him, marching off quickly before Kun gets to retaliate.

All stage lights then focused on the man in question. _Kim Jongin Sunbaenim,_ Jaemin thought in awe. He remembers him as the dance club’s famous president from last year. He doesn’t know much of the older, all he knows is that he and Lee Taeyong— his vice president, dominated the fundraising challenge last year.

_Where was Jisung?_ Jaemin thought as the music started playing sharp beats to which Kai gracefully and cleanly hit. Jaemin can feel the hair on his arm and on the back of his neck raise, clearly in awe of the elder.

The crowd was going crazy as to how Kai was popping and locking his joints harmoniously with the fast beats of the music. He was hot and cold, moving and turning his hips elegantly when the music slows down and dancing sharply when it picks up.

The crowd was chanting ‘Kim Jongin’ repeatedly when another figure joined the stage. Before Jaemin could see, “PARK JISUNG!” He hears Chenle shout at the top of his lungs when Jisung’s face shows up.

The audience go crazy at the powerful moves both Jisung and Kai are doing. The way Kai turns to him sharply, his body in tune with the fast music and the way Jisung steps simultaneously— both of their movements in perfect sync.

Jaemin was kind of worried when he heard Jisung would be dancing with Kai, but changed his mind after seeing the younger’s clean moves and knife-like precision. _He’s keeping up._

Jaemin looks to his right to see Chenle’s face, eyes blown up and mouth opened. His body stayed still, amusement clearly painted over his body. At one point in the choreography, both Jisung and Kai went to the separate corners of the stage, _to interact with the audience,_ Jaemin guessed.

It was only for a split second, but Jaemin noticed how Jisung looked at their direction before winking. _He fucking winked,_ Jaemin thought incredulously at how Jisung— the shyest boy he knows, had the audacity to flirt with the audience.

Jaemin moves to ask Chenle if he saw that when he sees the younger’s face dripping in red. _Oh of course he saw, it was for him,_ Jaemin said to himself as he smirked and poked at the younger.

“Close your mouth— you’re drooling,” Jaemin mocked, to which the younger immediately wipes his arm to his mouth. Jaemin laughed at him, seeing the younger so flustered and out of it.

The crowd roared once again when the two performances posed, their chests heaving and breathing harshly after performing that crazy routine. “Wah— Ending Fairy Park Jisung!” No longer shy, Chenle shouts at the younger.

Jisung’s ear turns red after hearing Chenle. Both of them bowed down to the audience, before stepping down the stage, loud cheers of appreciation heard in the background.

“Wahhh— that was good, can I get another round of applause?” Doyoung says into the microphone, earning choruses of ‘Kim Jongin’ and ‘Park Jisung’.

“Our next performer of the night is someone— everyone is familiar with,” Doyoung states, walking around the stage while gazing at the audience. “It’s none other than your everyday reliable secretary— Xiao Dejun!”

Jaemin smiles at that, cheering loudly when Dejun stepped on the stage. Fellow staff members followed him, carrying a stool, keyboard and a microphone stand.

He and the rest of the crowd applauded as Dejun introduced himself. The cheers of the audience died down as the venue light dims for the third time of the night, and a spotlight directed at Dejun.

Jaemin can see Dejun take a deep breath, before stretching his arms onto the keyboard. _You got this,_ Jaemin whispered, cheering at the elder internally.

Dejun’s fingers pressed onto the keys as he started playing the melody of the song. Closing his eyes, silently humming with the instrument before he sings.

//Someone you loved//

Everyone fell silent when Dejun started singing. Aside from Dejun’s beautiful voice filling up the venue, Jaemin could hear his own breathing with his cheeks lightly tainted with pink.

Jaemin recalls the very first time he saw and heard Dejun sing seriously. He is reminded of how the light would bounce off of the elder’s high cheekbones and jaw.

Jaemin could feel the similar prickling sensation on his skin, Dejun’s clear voice sweeping the audience’s emotions. The elder’s voice softened, following the smooth array of notes from the keyboard.

  
  


//I need somebody to heal, somebody to know, somebody to have, somebody to hold//

_I can be your somebody,_ Jaemin answered internally, eyes still focused on Dejun. The audience were also in the same state, captivated by Dejun’s intoxicating voice. His voice swelled and rose high, belting out the lyrics of sorrow.

Jaemin’s throat tightened up, feeling his eyes water at the emotion. For a brief time, it was as if he, along with the rest of the audience, could see and feel Dejun’s pain and inhibitions. It was as if the elder was opening his heart to everyone in the concert hall, showing his most vulnerable side to everyone.

Dejun continued playing the piano, the crescendo and speed of the song increasing gradually. The music swelled. Jaemin was feeling the intensity of Dejun’s hands pressing the keys of the piano.

Dejun had stopped singing and slowed down his fingers on the piano when another voice accompanied him. At that moment, another spotlight turns on, focusing on the other figure entering the stage.

//Breathing//

_It’s Doyoung,_ Jaemin gasped internally at the twist of events. The crowd shared the same thoughts, shocked to see the president of the chorale returning to the stage for a third time.

Jaemin realizes immediately at how beautiful Dejun had played the piano, smoothly transitioning from the previous song to the other. His body shivers at how both Doyoung and Dejun’s voices blended perfectly together.

Doyoung took the lead, while Dejun was harmonizing with him throughout every lyric of the song. Both of their voices were very distinct from each other, but tonight, acted as one beautiful pair.

The song slowed down to almost a stop, the silence deafening in everyone’s ears— before Dejun had pressed the keys of the piano once again, intensity building up. 

From the very depths of their cores, the song rose once again, their voices hitting the notes perfectly. Jaemin could feel his body shiver, feeling the rawness in Dejun and Doyoung’s voices.

Their voices finally came to a stop, followed by the slowing of the music, before Dejun faintly stopped playing. There was a moment of silence before the audience erupted into a roar.

A flood of chants with both Dejun and Doyoung’s names filled the venue. Jaemin shouts Dejun’s name at the top of his lungs. Unfortunately, Dejun doesn’t hear him from the strength of everyone’s voices.

As Dejun and Doyoung stepped down from the stage, the venue lights suddenly turned off, leaving the concert hall pitch black in darkness. 

Choruses of gasps can be heard among the audience, questioning if this was a technical error or part of the concert performance. Jaemin was also thinking of the same thing when a spotlight shines softly on the stage.

On the stage are three figures, varying in height— wearing black, white, and gray, all of them wearing matching blindfolds, Jaemin notes to himself. Jaemin couldn’t make out the faces of the figures, only able to see their bodies and their silhouette against the light.

The music starts, and the three figures simultaneously pose in formation— all of their backs facing one another. If Jaemin could describe the music, it would be quite sinister and mysterious, adding to the suspense atmosphere everyone is feeling.

The figures wearing black and white steps moved into the light, revealing their faces. _It’s Ten,_ Jaemin guesses, the blindfold not helping to disguise the dance president’s face.

Jaemin was unfamiliar with the other figure, racking his brain and thinking of all possible dance members that fit. He snaps out of his thoughts when he hears Chenle whisper, “Sicheng gege.”

_Sicheng?_ Jaemin asks internally before it hits him. _Dong Sicheng, the vice president of the dance club._ From the previous year, Jaemin has only seen Sicheng once, him and Ten were also performing for an event as well. He remembers that Sicheng was a traditional and cultural dancer from Shanghai, and was also offered a scholarship in SMU.

Jaemin’s jaw drops in awe at how Ten and Sicheng move gracefully around each other, _still dressed in blindfolds,_ he thought incredulously.

The crowd’s cheers have died down, their eyes following every movement. _Push and pull,_ Jaemin thinks, seeing how Sicheng and Ten would contemporarily chase after another, but when they get close enough, they jump back or push each other away.

He and the rest of the audience could feel the tension building ever so slowly throughout the performance, how they could feel the frustrations portrayed by Ten’s harsh movements and the desperation showcased by Sicheng’s graceful steps.

Jaemin’s hair starts to rise from his skin, sensing that something’s bound to happen from how thick the tension is. The music starts picking up in dynamics, his heart pounding along with the beat of the song.

Before anyone could comprehend, all the venue lights turned on suddenly, the three figures spinning, before tossing their blindfolds off to the air

The crowd shouts in excitement as the music drops, the three dancers sharply delivering movements along the beat of the song. Jaemin freezes as he sees the face of the third person, he wasn’t expecting to see him.

_Renjun._

Jaemin unintentionally sucks in his breath as he registers Renjun. Renjun, the person he thought he knew well, dancing across the stage. The Renjun that doesn’t fathom attention, gracefully gliding in front of several hundreds of people.

He sees how Renjun meticulously blends with Sicheng and Ten, all three of them pushing and pulling at each other. He sees how a couple strands of Renjun’s hair strikes his face, how his limbs bend along with the music. He only sees Renjun, attention only on his light steps, smooth movements, and his expression.

All three of them were graceful, but Jaemin can only remember Renjun. How he glided across the floor, moving to the edge, his hand out open to the audience, his expression laced with agony.

It was a quick moment, but Jaemin sees it nonetheless. Sees how Renjun shifted his body to face Jaemin, looking at his direction with his hand out. Jaemin feels his head ringing, he lifts his hand, trying to mimic Renjun’s movement, trying to grasp the hand Renjun held out earlier but stops himself.

_I’m too late._

Jaemin could feel his throat constrict at the thought. He feels the guilt crawling from the past— the guilt of not trying hard enough, guilty for giving up.

Jaemin feels tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, tears from not seeing Renjun fully, when Renjun knew him very well, from inside and out. He feels his stomach turn when he sees Renjun spin and fly across the stage.

_It turns out I was the one who didn’t really know,_ Jaemin admitted to himself, before closing his eyes, releasing all the pent-up emotions.

“Jaemin hyung?”

He shakes his head, quickly wiping the tears with his arms before facing Chenle. “What happened?” Chenle asks him, eyes worried for his hyung.

Jaemin shakes his head, smiling at the younger, “Nothing— I’m okay,” he says. Jaemin then looked up from Chenle to the stage, seeing Ten, Sicheng, and Renjun bow in front of the audience. _I missed the ending,_ he thought, before clapping his hands together with the cheering audience.

Chenle looks at him one more time, still clearly worried at him, before facing towards the stage and clapping.

The final performance included the whole member of the dance club, dancing to an original track, produced by the members themselves.

Jaemin couldn’t hear the music at all, only the steady beat of his heart and the ringing on his ears. His eyes and mind only focuses at where Renjun was positioned.

Jaemin continued to stare at Renjun, until the final performance has finished. He snaps out of his thoughts when he hears Kunhang’s voice from the loud speakers, saying their farewell and goodnights with fellow emcee Jungwoo.

He had thought about approaching Renjun when the dance club members went down the stage, but he hesitated and ultimately decided to go home.

“I’ll go home first,” Jaemin says to Chenle, as the younger was about to go to where Jisung is. Chenle was about to question his hyung, but decided not to interfere and waved him farewell.

Jaemin tries to block off everything surrounding him— the people and the sounds around him as he walks back home, to the point that he wasn’t able to hear Dejun’s voice out his name.

—————

Ever since the concert, Jaemin has been distracted. Distracted from the thought that his heart might probably still beat for Renjun. For several days, he has been trying to shake out of his doubts and think, think about what he should be feeling, both for Dejun and Renjun. 

_I need to figure this out,_ he says to himself— have been saying to himself ever since that day, but was futile. It’s difficult enough that he’s ashamed of asking Chenle for advice, ashamed that his best friend would think of him less when he finds out.

It makes it even hard for Jaemin to figure out his emotions when he sees both Renjun and Dejun multiple times a week, both of them at the same time during afternoon meetings. 

He gets interrupted with his thoughts when Kun taps the microphone, earning everyone’s attention in the auditorium.

“But before I announce that— I have here, a letter from Jaehyun, our student council president,” Kun explains. This earned the attention of both Ten and Doyoung, _they probably weren’t expecting the letter_ , Jaemin thought.

Chenle slapped Jaemin’s arm in the process, expression both excited and nervous. Jaemin smiles at him softly, grabbing his hand, trying to comfort the younger.

“Jaehyun has revealed that the winner from the fundraising challenge— is between the three of our organizations,” he said into the microphone, earning severals of applause and cheers.

“It’s going to be us— of course,” Jaemin hears Donghyuck’s voice among the cheers. “Dream on— it’s us that’s going to win!” Jaemin could feel his body still, hearing Renjun’s voice as he interrupted Donghyuck.

Before the teasing has any chance of becoming an interclub fight, Kun clears his throat as he proceeds to read the letter. Everyone was at the edge of their seats, listening at how every word drips from Kun’s mouth. 

“And congratulations to the winner of this year’s Foundation Fundraising Challenge,” Kun pauses, blinking his eyes rapidly at the piece of letter, before he talks softly.

“First Act,”

The auditorium was silent for a split second before every member from the theatre club erupted in screams. Kun had jumped off the stage, moving quickly towards his members, all of them celebrating their win.

Ten quickly followed Kun, snatching the letter from the other, reading the contents for himself. “Well?” Doyoung asked, as he trailed behind him.

Ten faced Doyoung, before slightly nodding at him, face clearly disappointed at the result. Doyoung’s face also breaks into a frown, slightly disappointed that they didn’t bring home the win.

Both of them take a moment, before fixing their expressions. “Congratulations to the theatre club!” Doyoung had exclaimed into the nearest microphone, clapping his hands. Ten had followed him, before everyone of the memberships from the two organizations applauded the theatre club for their win.

  
  


After Kun’s announcement, the membership had proceeded to practice and work on the props and dance steps needed for the scenes.

The three presidents had just dismissed them after a few hours of practicing. Jaemin and a few others have started to walk out of the auditorium, getting ready to go home. 

“Jaemin!”

He turns around and sees Dejun sprinting towards him, slipping through the crowd of members walking outside. “Hyung— hi,” Jaemin says sheepishly, as the elder neared him.

“So— getting wet and wild for the fundraising really helped huh?” Dejun starts, gawking at him, the tone of his voice teasing, as he raises one of his eyebrows. 

“I didn’t know you had abs? You should take your shirt off more often.” Jaemin’s cheeks immediately redden, scratching the back of his neck at that.

“Hyung,” he whines, his eyes cast down, feeling shy at his hyung’s words. Dejun tilts his head to face him, “Hey— eyes up here,” he says to him, locking eyes with Jaemin.

Jaemin whispers an ‘okay’ before the elder continues. “I just wanted to congratulate you again— you guys deserved it,” Dejun says to him, no longer teasing.

Jaemin utters out a ‘thank you’, still embarrassed from the teasing. Dejun chuckles at that, he peers around the room, looking left and right before quickly leaning in to give the younger a peck.

“Hyung!” Jaemin blurts out, his face bright red, expression bashful at the elder’s bold actions. “A gift,” Dejun says to him as he breaks apart, winking at the younger.

Jaemin clears his voice, expression still shy. “So— why’d you call me?” He asks the elder. “I wanted to ask— if you maybe want to get dinner with me?” Dejun responds, now the one timid.

Jaemin was about to respond ‘yes,’ when he saw Renjun walking out of the auditorium with Jeno, both behind Dejun. He sees Renjunis throat tightens, his inner dilemma hindering his thoughts. _I don’t want to be unfair for Dejun._

“Ummm— you see,” Jaemin stutters out, thinking of a reasonable excuse to refuse the elder. “Hmm?” Dejun asks him, protruding his neck in confusion.

He bites his lower lip in hesitation, “Uhhh—” he tries, his eyes flickering left and right. He spots Chenle at the corner of his eyes before shouting his name, “Chenle!”

“Me and Chenle have something to do,” he reasons out as Chenle nears him. Dejun turns around to the younger, slightly doubtful. “Huh?” He asks them, confused.

Jaemin quickly reaches his arm over Chenle’s neck, cradling him playfully, “I was just saying to Dejun hyung that we were going to do something tonight— just the two of us,” he says, slightly squeezing the younger’s neck, hoping that he would get it.

“Oh— yeah, we were gonna do something, I almost forgot,” the younger manages to say. Dejun looks at both of them, their expressions a bit weird. 

If Dejun thought it was suspicious, he doesn’t show it— smiling at the two softly. “Okay— have fun without me,” he teases to them as he waves goodbye.

“Let’s have dinner next time!” Jaemin shouts, waving his hand as the elder disappears out of their sights. Jaemin visibly relaxes, sighs in relief before Chenle faced him, his expression questioning.

“I didn’t know we were hanging out after this?” Chenle questions, one of his eyebrows raised. Jaemin feels ashamed for using his best friend as an excuse, he scratches the back of his neck as he looks at the younger, “I can explain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell, I was very invested on that opening that Doyoung led for the concert. It was of course based on his predebut performance of poker face, its not exactly the same as I tweaked some of the steps and formation hehe :]
> 
> The ones for Sicheng, Ten, and Renjun’s dance scene was inspired by the lovely dance cover, just imagined Renjun with them :>>
> 
> Again, comments are very much appreciated


	7. Chapter 7

“So you’re telling me— you  _ think _ you still feel something for Renjun gege?” Chenle immediately asks him as they arrive home. The younger stares at him, “But I thought— ”

“That's what I thought too,” Jaemin huffed, voice laced with stress, as he plops back onto the couch. “What are you gonna do now?”, the younger asks hesitantly.

“I don’t know— ughh” Jaemin whines onto the couch pillows, feeling irritated at himself. “But hyung— you need to do something,” the younger starts, sitting down beside him.

Jaemin straightens his body, puts down the pillow before looking at the other. “It’s unfair for Dejun gege,” Chenle explains to him, a sad smile on his face, upset at his hyung’s conflict.

“I know,” Jaemin said, defeated. Chenle stretches his arms over the elder, hugging him tightly. “I’m sorry hyung— I know you’ve tried very hard moving on,” he whispers to him softly. 

Jaemin doesn’t answer, just nods his head slightly. After a while of silence, Jaemin looks up at the other. “What should I do?” He asks, eyes disheartened. 

“You need to be honest with Dejun gege,” the younger replies, caressing Jaemin’s palm.

“You both at least, deserve the truth.”

—————

Jaemin and Chenle agreed to have lunch the next day, the elder wanting to hear more advice on what to do. “Is Jisung coming?” The elder asks as he sits down in front of Chenle while peering around their surroundings, wary of someone who might hear.

“Hyung, relax— Jisung isn’t coming, had to do something with Ten gege,” the younger explains. 

Jaemin visibly relaxes, his shoulders slumping down in relief. “Have you thought of when to talk with Dejun gege?” Chenle asks warily, before taking a bite at his food.

Jaemin gulps, he couldn’t sleep well at all last night— spent the majority of it thinking. “I’m still not sure— but I will, soon,” the elder says.

The younger nods at him, but his face still laced with worry. Jaemin notices the younger’s glum expression, “Why?” He asks him.

Chenle bites his lower lip, clearly hesitant of what he’s about to ask. “What about Renjun gege?” He manages to ask, his voice low. The elder looks at him, confused.

“What about him?” He asks. “I mean— you’re gonna tell him that you still like him, right?” The younger asks him back. Jaemin furrows his eyes in confusion.

“Do I even need to?” Jaemin starts. “I’m not going back with him— he’s already with Jeno,” Jaemin continues, the tone of his voice a bit disdainful. 

“And if he isn’t— would you?” Chenle prods at him. Jaemin goes quiet for a while, thinking if he would. “I—” he hesitates, before staying silent.

“What were you planning— after talking with Dejun gege?” The younger says, looking the elder in the eyes. Jaemin’s chest becomes heavy at the realization,  _ Well, it depends with Dejun,  _ he thought.

“Hyung, are you not planning on breaking up with Dejun gege?” Chenle continues asking him. Jaemin looks at the other incredulously, “No— I mean, it all depends on him,” he clarifies.

“Oh hyung,” Chenle mutters out, disappointment faintly present on his face. “Dejun gege likes you,” he continues. Jaemin looks at him putty, not sure what to make of what he said.

“I know, and?”

“No— I mean, really, REALLY, likes you,” Chenle stresses. 

“He won’t break up with you— even if you tell him you’re still not over an ex.” He explains to him. “Isn’t that a good thing?” Jaemin questions.

“Hyung, don’t you think it’s unfair for him?” The younger says. “That both of you are still together— and him knowing that you still have feelings for Renjun gege,” Chenle proceeds to say, his voice a bit telling.

“What about me— don’t I deserve to be happy?” Jaemin asks, voice slightly cracking. Chenle grabs his hands, “Of course you do,” he says, voice soft.

“But not at the expense of someone else’s.”

Jaemin could feel his throat tighten at the younger’s words. He feels torn at the realization that he’d choose to go back with Renjun if he didn’t have Jeno.

Jaemin’s thoughts get interrupted when his phone buzzes to life. He scrambles for it, looking at the screen. “It’s Dejun hyung,” he exclaims, before picking it up.

“Hyung, hi” Jaemin says, voice slightly stuttering. “Are you guys having lunch— where are you?” The elder asks.

Jaemin moves the phone from his face for a bit, ‘He’s asking where we are,’ he whispers to the younger. ‘Tell him to come here,’ Chenle says.

Jaemin hesitates for a moment before bringing the phone back to his ear, “Hyung— you see,” Jaemin starts, not ready to see the elder just yet.

“Oh, wait—” Dejun says before hanging up suddenly. Jaemin peers onto his phone,  _ Why’d he hang up?  _ He asks himself. Jaemin was about to text him ‘what happened.’

“Jaemin! Chenle!” 

Both of them turn their faces toward the voice, seeing Dejun quickly coming near them. Chenle could see Jaemin’s expression, clearly nervous and not ready to see the elder.

“Gege!” Chenle greets him, before hugging him quickly. Jaemin greets him all the same, although a bit quiet. “Don’t you have classes during this time?” Jaemin asks the elder.

Dejun takes a seat beside Jaemin before facing him, “Our professor had to attend a seminar abroad,” the elder quickly supplies. “Oh— that’s lucky,” Jaemin blurts out, trying not to be tense around his hyung.

“So, what did you guys do last night?” Dejun asks the two of them, to which both visibly gulps. “Uh—” Chenle starts, eyes shifting from left to right, surprised by the elder’s question.

Before Jaemin could make up an excuse, the trio were interrupted by a loud voice, calling their names.

Jaemin looks back and sees his friend, Kunhang, almost sprinting towards them. Jaemin visibly relaxes in relief, saved by his friend’s timing.

“Kunhang!” Jaemin greets the other as he approaches their table. “Gege— what’s up?” Chenle follows, his expression similar to that of Jaemin.

Kunhang tries to catch his breath for a while. “Party,” he blurts out, still panting quite heavily. “Party?” Dejun asks him. “Yes, Ten gege and Doyoung hyung are throwing a party,” he explains after regaining his composure.

“Huh— but why?” Jaemin asks him, also curious. “Remember how Ten, Doyoung, and Kun had a bet on who would win the fundraising?”

Jaemin and Dejun open their mouths in realization, “so they would throw a party, for the winning team?” 

Kunhang nods at Dejun.

“When is the party?” Chenle joins them. “It’s tomorrow night,” Dejun clarifies to which he earns shocked expressions from the other three.

“That soon?” Dejun questions incredulously. “Yeah, that’s why a bunch of us are running around,” Kunhang whines. 

“Who else is invited?” Jaemin asks him. “Oh! He also wanted me to invite the student council members,” he recalls. “Is it okay if you’d be the one to invite them?” Kunhang asks Dejun as he faces him, his eyes pleading.

Dejun looks at him with pity, “Oh— okay, no problem,” Dejun agreed, earning a loud ‘thanks’ from the other. “I need to go— I’ll see you guys tomorrow?” Kunhang says, looking at the three of them before walking away.

“Oh! It’s gonna be a pool party okay?” Kunhang shouts as he walks away from the trio, waving his hand goodbye.

Jaemin looks back at Dejun, “Are you gonna go?” He asks the elder. “Of course— Ten’s party is always good,” he says, smiling. 

Jaemin bites his lips in disappointment,  _ I was planning to tell him the truth tomorrow,  _ he thought internally.

“I can’t wait for tomorrow night!” The elder exclaims, “I’ll just go get food,” the elder continues as he makes his way to the counter. Chenle stretches over the table. 

“Hyung, are you gonna talk to him tonight?” He asks, peering over the elder as he orders food. Jaemin follows the younger’s gaze, sighing.

“I can’t— I don’t wanna ruin the party for him,” he explains. 

“You should do it soon hyung,” Chenle says, straightening on his seat when he sees Dejun about to come back.

“It’ll only get worse.”

—————

Around two hours before the party, Jaemin sees Chenle in a frenzy, frantically going over his closet for tonight. “Does this look ok?” Chenle asks him, holding a hawaiian shirt in front of him.

Jaemin looks over, “I guess,” he shrugs before flopping back down on Chenle’s bed, not really in a festive mood to party. 

“Hyung— I can understand why you’re down,” the younger starts, going over beside him on the bed. “But you also need to take your mind off it, just for a while— hmmm?”

Jaemin stays silent for a while, feels guilt creeping up to his chest,  _ Do I have the right to relax?  _ He asked himself. “I’m thinking of talking to Dejun hyung later,” Jaemin confesses.

The younger looks at him in the eyes, “Are you sure— why’d you change your mind?” He asks the elder. “I thought about what you said— and you’re right, it will get worse.” Jaemin explains.

“Hyung, if you’re not yet ready— don’t push yourself,” Chenle replies. 

“But I just can’t party around, knowing that I’d only break it to him the day after,” Jaemin says, voice laced with stress and guilt. 

“I know I said you should talk to him sooner— but it’s already a few hours before the party, moping around now won’t change a thing” Chenle responds.

“It’s up to you if you’re going to talk to him tonight, but if you’re rushing just because of what I said— don’t, talk to him when you’re ready, hmm?”

Jaemin looks at the other before he nods hesitantly. Chenle gives him a soft smile before tugging him off the bed, “C’mon, we still need to dress up nice,” the younger says, a little bit excited for later.

Jaemin chuckles at that, setting aside his earlier worries, helping the other find suiting clothes. 

_ Just for tonight. _

  
  


Jaemin and Chenle both arrive at the location of the party, according to Kunhang’s text. Jaemin gawks at the size of the house,  _ It looks like a penthouse, _ Jaemin corrects as they make there way to the door.

Chenle rings the bell and both are met with Ten, face red, looking tipsy already. “Chenle, Jaemin— welcome!” Ten says, his voice a bit slurred.

Jaemin sees the elder’s disheveled state, his hair a bit of a mess, his cheeks stained with pink. The older was wearing a similar tropical button up like him and Chenle, but was unbuttoned all the way— hanging desperately by his shoulder, showcasing a pale and slim torso.

Jaemin and Chenle almost blush due to the elder’s state of undress, but shake their thoughts away as they realize that  _ this was a pool party _ . 

Ten wraps his arms around both of their shoulders, guiding them inside. “Let’s go get you some drinks— Sicheng!” He shouts. Jaemin could see the other by the kitchen counter, preparing and handing out drinks to everyone.

“Jaemin, Chenle— here,” Sicheng says, handing both of them suspicious looking beverages. Jaemin takes the cups handed to them, taking note of Sicheng’s exposed and lean arms. 

“Is this alcohol?” Chenle asks nonchalantly, eyeing the violet stained beverage. Ten and Sicheng laughs at that, “Of course it is— we’re at a college party,” Sicheng says, still snickering at the youngest’s innocence.

Jaemin takes a small sip, before taking a gulp when the drink was deemed just light. “So, Ten hyun— your house is nice,” Jaemin tries, still ogling at the huge interior of the place.

“Oh! It’s not my house— Yangiee!” Ten exclaims.

Jaemin and Chenle turn their face around, seeing Yangyang running towards them. “Yangyang— you’re also here?” Chenle asks the other.

Before Yangyang could reply, Ten stretched over his arms, hugging the younger briefly. “Of course he’s here— it’s his house,” Ten says without a care.

Yangyang cheeks blushes at the eldest’s words before he’s met with a knowing Chenle. “You sneaky little—“ Chenle gets interrupted when Yangyang pushes his hands to the other’s mouth, his eyes begging.

Chenle quickly understands what he meant before nodding slowly, removing the other’s hands covering his mouth. He gazes at Yangyang’s expression before chuckling.

“I didn’t know you had a huge house?“ Chenle mocks, still not ready to let the issue die down. Before Yangyang could snap back, Ten joins them, “I know right— thank you so much Yangiee,” he says, before giving the other a peck on the cheek.

Yangyang visibly freezes at his hyung’s sudden action. Jaemin and Chenle laugh at the other’s expression. 

“I need to go around— just need to make sure everyone’s alive,” Ten says, waving the four of them goodbye as he wobbles across the halls, greeting everyone he sees along the way.

“I think you need to stay with him— lover boy,” Chenle mocks, before pushing Yangyang to go after the eldest.

Jaemin drinks the rest of his beverage down before asking for another one from Sicheng.  _ I still haven’t seen both Renjun and Dejun,  _ he thought to himself, wanting to avoid both of them as much as possible.

Chenle was looking around the house before spotting Jisung. “Jisung’s there, come on!” He says to Jaemin, dragging the other with him across the room toward the open area.

“Chenle, Jaemin hyung!” Jisung greets them both as they neared him. Chenle’s face immediately reddens when he sees the younger’s state— his hair quiffed and fixed, showcasing his forehead. 

Chenle trails his gaze downwards Jisung’s face, seeing his shirt unbuttoned slightly, exposing his prominent collar bones and a hint of chest, gulping.

“Stop drooling,” Jaemin teases, low enough for only Chenle to hear as they neared the youngest. Chenle shakes his head before he approaches the younger.

“You alone?” Chenle says, peering into the surroundings. “Ah— no, I was with Donghyuck hyung, there!” Jisung says, pointing to Donghyuck walking to them with Mark in tow.

Both Mark and Donghyuck are wearing the same kind of shirt (couple shirt).  _ Of course they coordinated outfits,  _ Jaemin thought, taking note of their appearance— both Mark and Donghyuck’s shirts unbuttoned all the way, Donghyuck wearing a tank top underneath while Mark was bare. 

“Eyyyyy,” Donghyuck cheers, and Mark now stands close to them. “Where’d you guys run off to,” Jisung says, a teasing grin plastered on his face. 

“Yah! We didn’t do anything— just went to see the pool,” Mark sputters out quickly to which the youngest laughed. “Whatever you say hyung,” he teases.

“They’re playing water games over there— wanna go?” Donghyuck interrupts, saving Mark from the impending embarrassment, catching both Jaemin and Chenle’s attention. 

“Really? Let’s go quick!” Chenle exclaims, pulling Jisung over to the pool area quickly as the rest of them follow.

Jaemin gulps as he sees both figures he was trying to avoid all night, his steps falter a little as he sees both Renjun and Dejun talking by the pool.

Renjun and Dejun turn around to face them, greeting as they come closer. “Are you guys gonna play too?” Jaemin says, trying to steady his voice.

“I think I’ll pass,” Dejun says, smiling at the other. “I’ll pass too, wasn’t planning on getting wet,” he hears Renjun say nonchalantly. He takes a look at Renjun’s appearance— he was wearing a loose white tank top that showed off his sides, the outline of his ribs peeking out slightly from the holes.

Jaemin’s lungs constrict,  _ he looks great,  _ he thought to himself before snapping out of his thoughts as he realized he’s been staring at the other.

“Hey!” He tears his gaze away to look at the direction of the voice. They see Jeno on the water, threading across the pool to their spot.

“Guys, wanna play?— me, Yukhei and Jungwoo just setup the volleyball net,” he says, gesturing to both Yukhei and Jungwoo playing with water by the net.

“I didn’t really bring an extra shirt,” Jaemin tries, cautious that his only shirt would be drenched. “Just take off your shirt— and for your pants, Yukhei says there are towels over there in case we needed to dry up,” he reasons, pointing to a shed. 

Jaemin hesitates for a while before feeling an elbow touching his side. He sees Dejun beside him, his lips tugged up to a grin. “Come on— I think I’ll play too,” he says, removing the outer layer of his clothes, leaving on a thin tank top to cover him before he jumps into the pool.

Jaemin shakes his thoughts before unbuttoning his shirt, slipping it down from his shoulders. “Yahhh Na Jaemin!” He hears Yukhei say, whistling.

Before he changes his mind from all the teasing and jeering, he quickly places his and Dejun’s shirts onto a chair before jumping into the water.

_ Fuck it’s cold,  _ he says, feeling the cool water seep into his skin and shorts. Mark slips out of his shirt, diving into the pool, following Jaemin. 

Chenle, Donghyuck, and Jisung follow to remove their shirts, the three of them left with thin and ill fitting undershirts, before climbing down the pool ladder.

“Renjun! Aren’t you coming?” Jeno asks. Renjun folds his legs up to his chest before shaking his head. “I don’t want my shirt to get wet,” Renjun whines.

“Here— just wear mine,” Jeno says, grabbing the edges of his tank top, pulling it off before throwing it to Renjun. He catches it, face dripping in red, still hesitant on joining.

“Renjun hyung come on— we need five players each a team,” Jisung explains. Renjun visibly swallows, peering onto the eyes of his friends, before landing on Jaemin, looking at him directly.

He feels a rush of confidence before he quickly slips out of his tank top to put on Jeno’s. Jaemin could feel his heart beat faster, seeing Renjun’s slim and pale body.

He’s interrupted when Renjun makes a splash onto the pool, finally joining the game.

They get separated into two teams— Renjun, Jeno, Jisung, Yukhei, and Dejun on one side of the net, and the rest on the other.

“Oh— one more thing,” Yukhei exclaims, earning the attention of the others. “To make it more interesting— the losing team has to drink 2 shots of vodka each,” he continues, voice smug and confident.

“Deal,” Jungwoo replies, his gaze at his boyfriend challenging and playful.

  
  


Yukhei sure talked a big game, not knowing that his teammates sucked at playing volleyball. Needless to say, Yukhei’s team downed two strong vodka shots, this early into the party.

As they were about to play another swimming game, Kunhang appeared with a bunch of towels in hand. “Come on— Doyoung wanted me to call you,” he says, a teasing grin on his face as he handed them towels.

“Why?” Jaemin asks, before patting himself dry. “Said he wanted to get drunk even more and play  _ dry _ games,” Kunhang chuckles, recalling Doyoung’s already tipsy state.

“Doyoung hyung, getting drunk?” Dejun says in disbelief, laughing at Kunhang’s words, slightly tipsy himself. Kunhang hands him a towel, “You’re not one to talk,” he snickers, seeing the elder’s state.

After drying off, Dejun quickly slips out from his tank top before putting on his shirt, too lazy to button it up. He peers over to Jaemin staring at him, before he feels his cheek burn.

“Yah— don’t stare,” He says, to which Jaemin coughs at, likely embarrassed to be caught.

The rest of them dry off before going inside the living room of Yangyang’s massive penthouse. There they see Doyoung, Kun, Yangyang, Ten, Sichdeng, and Jaehyun.

“Why’s he here?” Jaemin whispers, curious as to why the student body president would party and get drunk. “I actually don’t know— he said he wasn’t going when I asked him yesterday,” Dejun explains, clearly confused as well.

Both groups greeted each other as they made their way neared into the open space. “What are we playing?” Donghyuck asks Doyoung, who is standing in the middle of the room.

“Drinking games, _duh,_ ” Doyoung sputters out, pointing out the obvious. Donghyuck tries to reply but stops himself, remembering Doyoung already had one too many drinks.

“Let’s all make a circle first,” Doyoung says, voice a tad bit high from being tipsy. 

As they make their way to form a circle, Jaemin sits between Dejun and Chenle. Besides Dejun was Kunhang, then Yangyang, and Ten. On Chenle’s right was Jisung, then Jaehyun, then Doyoung, and Sicheng.

Jaemin gulps and lowers his head down, seeing both Renjun and Jeno sit across, in front of him. He sees Jungwoo, Yukhei, and Kun to Jeno’s left and Donghyuck and Mark to Renjun’s right. 

He kind of regrets sitting across from Renjun, but sticks with it nonetheless, too awkward if he were to switch places with the others.

Doyoung clears his throat, earning everybody’s attention. “We’ll start off by playing— Truth or Dare,” he exclaims, hearing a few ‘woop woop’ and cheers from the circle. “Who wants to start off?” He asks, looking at anyone who wants to volunteer.

Everyone was silent, almost waiting for someone to volunteer to start. “I’ll go first,” Sicheng volunteers, still looking sober compared to Doyoung.

“Jisung, truth or dare?” He asks the youngest in the room. 

“Truth?” Jisung says, he wanted to start off light and not risky. 

“Do you like someone in this circle?” He asks, his eyes knowing. Jisung could feel their eyes on him, waiting for an answer that was very much obvious.

“Chenle.”

The boy beside him freezes at the mention of his name, still shocked even if he was expecting it.

Jaemin elbows the younger while everyone was cheering at the youngest’s honest words.

Jisung shifts his gaze around the circle looking for someone to ask, landing on Mark. “Mark hyung, truth or dare.”

Mark thinks for a moment before he sees Donghyuck’s stare, his eyes mischievous, almost challenging. “Dare,” he huffs out, earning a playful shove from the younger. 

“Oh— Umm,” he thinks for a while before he sees Donghyuck, trying to get his attention.

Donghyuck subtly gives off multiple gestures, trying to give him an idea. He opens his mouth in realization, before following what Donghyuck implied.

“Take off your shirt.”

Choruses of ‘ooohhs’ are heard, making Mark blushes a little. 

Mark sighs out a breath before straightening in his seat, slowly unbuttons his shirt for everybody to gawk at.

Everyone was encouraging him, amused at his confidence. Donghyuck out of everybody was the most satisfied, whistling at the elder as he slips out of his shirt.

“Chenle— truth or dare,” Mark asks, trying to fight off the embarrassment.

“Truth,” he answers similarly to the boy beside him.

“Do you also like Jisung?”

Jaemin could feel Chenle shift from his seat, hesitating. Jaemin peers over to Jisung, biting at his lip, nervous, thinking he might not like him back.

The silence breaks to Chenle’s “Yes,” earning a relieved looking Jisung beside him.  _ Of course he likes you back, _ Jaemin chuckled.

“Donghyuck hyung, truth or dare?” He asks, seeing the other still sporting a grin. 

“Truth,” he answers nonchalantly, earning a few jeers at him.

Chenle thinks before he smirks, matching Donghyuck’s. “Back in highschool,” he starts, seeing Donghyuck’s smile falter.

“Even though you and Renjun gege were fighting,” he continues, earning the stares of both Renjun and Jaemin.

“You had a crush on him— right?” 

Donghyuck immediately pales at the younger’s words. “What?” Renjun says, bewildered before looking at Donghyuck.

Jaemin could feel his mouth drop at the revelation, clearly not expecting it. All of them focus on Donghyuck, and can see him thinking for a snarky comeback but fails.

He clears his throat before opening his mouth.

“No comment.”

All of them jeer at him, disappointed that Donghyuck decided to chicken out and avoid the question. The three of them— Donghyuck, Renjun, and Jaemin, are all silent.

Renjun tries to laugh at him, trying to brush off what happened. Donghyuck smiles at him, appreciates how Renjun didn’t push him. 

They get interrupted by Doyoung, “We’ll place a new rule— for every dodge, you must drink two shots of vodka,” he says, before signalling Sicheng to prepare them shots.

Donghyuck looked like he wanted to protest but couldn’t, seeing how he was the first one to dodge the question. He quickly downs the two shots from Sicheng, everyone clapping for him.

“Who’s turn is it?”

”Me!” Donghyuck slurs, as he tries to shake himself awake. He thinks for a moment before smirking, looking over to Jungwoo.

“Jungwoo hyung— truth or dare?”

“Hmmm— truth,” he says, earning a groan from Yukhei beside him. “Again?” Yukhei says, tired from the abundant number of truths.

Jungwoo gives him a look, slightly challenging but backs down, “Truth,” he insists, looking back at Donghyuck.

“Let’s get to the point,” He says, raising one of his eyebrows at him, the corner of his lips tugged up, looking at everyone in the circle.

“Among the people here in the circle, who would you want to kiss?” He asks, earning a few jeers from everyone, knowing that he would obviously pick his boyfriend.

Jungwoo smiles before facing Yukhei, grabbing his hand. He leans over to Yukhei’s face slowly, eyes still locked at the other. 

Yukhei’s face immediately blushed, didn’t expect the other’s bold actions, as he also leans in for the other’s lips. 

Almost an inch apart, Jungwoo places his finger on Yukhei’s lips, his lips tugged in a smirk. “Doyoung hyung,” he says, loud enough for everyone to hear.

Yukhei and the rest immediately widened their eyes, not expecting Jungwoo to tease before they peered over to Doyoung.

Doyoung couldn’t care less, far too drunk to give attention to everyone’s stares he’s getting. He chuckles before looking at Jungwoo, his eyes challenging.

“Yah— didn’t we already kiss?” He reveals sloppily, ignoring the gasps and the shocked expressions. “Remember your first college party— you didn’t know Yukhei back then,” He continues

Jungwoo nods in agreement, a faint blush decorating his cheeks.

“What can I say,” Jungwoo huffs, looking back at Yukhei, “It was a great kiss,” he says, mocking the younger beside him.

Yukhei lowers his head down at the shouts of everyone oohing, his body dripping in red, from his neck to his chest.

“My turn— Xuxi, truth or dare?”He asks, not allowing him to rest. Yukhei gulps before mumbling a small ‘truth’, still facing down.

Jaemin sees Jungwoo laugh in his position. Jungwoo calms down for a moment, “I thought you were tired of truths?” He teases, earning a few snickers from everyone.

“Fine— Dare!” Yukhei bursts out, hearing a chuckle from the elder.

“Kiss me,”

Yukhei blinked at him. Their friends exploded in reactions, all of them a slightly scandalized, but still excited at what’s about to happen. 

Their lips met, then parted, before touching again. Both Jungwoo and Yukhei couldn’t hear their shouts, focused on kissing the other. 

They finally parted after a few seconds, both of them smiling at each other.

The next few rounds were pretty tame, most of them all truths, spilling already known facts, just for the purpose of embarrassing them, especially Yanyang, who confessed he had a crush on Ten, earning him a quick peck at his cheek from his hyung.

Kunhang took a dare from Doyoung, slow dance in front of anyone he chose. Kunhang went up to Kun, “Ready baby?” He teased him, moving sensually in front of him. Jaemin cheered at his friend, howling encouragement.

Kunhang’s Dancing results in a blushing Kun, before he took his previous seat. “Kun gege, truth or dare?”

“Truth,” he blurts out, still blushing.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” He asked the elder. Before he even got to answer, Doyoung and Ten‘s laugh interrupted him.

“Of course he doesn’t,” Ten teased, while Doyoung continued to cackle as Kun nods at Kunhang, not really ashamed at his lack of relationships.

He clears his voice, “Doyoung, truth or dare?” He asked him. Doyoung sobers up a bit, looking back at Kun’s eyes.

“Dare,” he boldly says, ready to Challenge the other. Kun grins at his words, expecting the other to choose ‘dare’.

“I dare you to make out with—” he leaves suspense floating in the air, clearly enjoying the way Doyoung’s facade breaks, as panic seeps into his face. “You wouldn’t,” he dared.

Kun raised his eyebrow in challenge, mouthing ‘I would,’ at Doyoung. He stays quiet for a bit, thinking of the perfect way to say what’s on his mind.

“— your crush of four years, ever since freshman college.”

Doyoung stills, not drunk enough to feign ignorance to what Kun had said.

Everyone is now staring at Doyoung, waiting for him to move.

“I would like to pass—”

“Remember the bet?” Kun interrupts him, “Since Ten did the most work in organizing the party— Then you still owe me something,” he finishes.

Doyoung hesitates for a moment, seeing Kun’s daring gaze before standing up, wobbly in his feet. 

Jaemin and the rest of them stare at Doyoung, awaiting where his feet would take him. 

Doyoung suddenly turns around, facing the unsuspecting Jaehyun.

The president looks from left to right before facing Doyoung, “Y— you like me?” He asks, the other.

Doyoung nods shyly before lifting his eyes to Jaehyun’s. “Jung Jaehyun— will you let me, Kim Doyoung, kiss you?”

Everyone exploded at Doyoung’s statement, all of them focused on Jaehyun’s reaction.

Jaehyun stills before visibly relaxing, smiling at Doyoung fondly.

“Sure.”

Doyoung didn’t expect Jaehyun to agree, and is now urged on by his friends to go ‘kiss your man’, as they have said. He slowly kneels down to Jaehyun’s level, while Jaehyun rose up to his knees, meeting him halfway.

Both of them locked eyes for a while. Jaemin could feel some type of tension emitting from both of them, not sure if they were nervous or excited,  _ Maybe both,  _ he thought.

And then their faces were close, too close for comfort, but they see Jaehyun quickly stretching his hands to the back of Doyoung’s neck, pulling him into a kiss.

_ One _

_ Two _

_ Three _

A few seconds have passed by and none of the two are moving, looking like statues with their lips pressed one another. Doyoung’s eyes were wide open, didn’t expect Jaehyun to make the first move, before squealing.

Jaemin squints his eyes to the both of them, curious as to why Doyoung made that high sound, but he sees nothing. 

Doyoung visibly relaxes into the kiss before responding quite fervently.

None of them had the gut to cheer or laugh at the scene, all of them gawking at how the student body president is making out with the president of the chorale.

Ten let out a sound, “Wow,” before Doyoung breaks apart from Jaehyun, reminding him that there were indeed people watching them.

Doyoung looks over at Jaehyun one more time, seeing the other lick his lips, which turns him into a blushing mess before sitting back down next to the boy.

“Who wants to ask next?” Doyoung sputters out, head still lowered. Jaemin could hear the elder’s voice, slightly pleading for anyone to change the topic. 

Jaemin was about to volunteer when Ten ushers Yangyang to volunteer, to which the younger agreed. 

“Ummm— Dejun gege, truth or dare?”

Dejun peers over to the other, “Truth,” he smiles.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

Jaemin could feel his ears ring at the question before he looked at the person beside him.

Dejun stays still for a split second, but tries his best not to show it, before managing to relax himself quickly. Though Jaemin saw how the elder stiffened, he didn't ask.

Fully knowing that they didn’t talk about what they were,  _ or what they’re going to be after tonight. _

Dejun ponders for a moment, facing towards Jaemin before looking back at Yangyang.

“No comment,” he says before grabbing two shot glasses filled with vodka situated in the middle of the circle.

He quickly downs the first one, making to grab the other one before Jaemin stops his hand. “You already drank 2 shots before,” he says, voice a bit worried.

Dejun just smiles at him, huffs out an ‘it’s fine,’ before downing his fourth shot of the night.

“Renjun.”

Jaemin’s chest tightens up at the mention of his name, almost forgetting that he was with them.  _ He could’ve asked anyone but him,  _ he whines mentally.

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” he boldly says, unassuming of Jaemin’s inner dilemma.

“I dare you to kiss the person next to you,” Dejun says, his words a bit slurred. Jaemin closes his eyes immediately, couldn’t fathom the fact that he’ll see Renjun and Jeno kiss in front of him, especially now that he knows he still harbors feelings for his ex lover.

He sees Renjun blush, before looking over at Jeno, earning a whine from Donghyuck, “Hey— you didn’t even consider me? I’m hurt.” He huffs.

Renjun snickers, “But can you handle it— kissing your highschool crush?” He challenges, to which Donghyuck immediately backs down as everyone laughs.

“May I?”

“If you want to,” Jeno says, chuckling at Renjun.

Jaemin still has his eyes closed when the people around them (except Chenle), start cheering. He hesitated if he wanted to peek before slowly opening his right eye.

He opened his eyes too quickly, and was met with Renjun and Jeno’s lips just breaking apart from each other. He doesn’t have time to feel jealous when Renjun calls out his name.

“Truth or Dare?”

_ Oh shit. _

“Dare,” Jaemin manages to say.

Renjun closes his eyes, pretending to think for Jaemin’s dare before he looks up to him. “I dare you to kiss Dejun hyung.”

Jaemin freezes up at Renjun’s words. He looks over to Dejun, looking at him. 

Jaemin hesitates for a moment, thinking if it was fair for him to kiss the elder, knowing that he was going to ask space from him, and that his heart still beats for another person.

But before he could decide, Dejun quickly grabs his head, kissing him immediately. Jaemin was shocked to say the least, was planning to down the shots, not wanting to take advantage of the elder’s slightly drunken state when Dejun made the decision for him.

Jaemin stayed still as Dejun kept kissing him. 

Dejun inched closer and closer. Jaemin could taste the alcohol from Dejun’s lips. 

He leaned back, trying to break the kiss when Dejun pressed onto him, his lips moving desperately. Jaemin could feel his heart break, feeling sorry for his hyung, before he responds to him, moving his lips fervently against Dejun’s.

The kiss was almost violent— how Dejun would fight back with dominance when Jaemin responded, deepening the kiss furthermore.

Jaemin closed his eyes, wishing that Dejun would stop and break apart from him.  _ Don’t let me hurt you anymore. _

There were hollers and clapping from everyone, clearly in disbelief at the scene, at how Dejun situated his body closer to the other.

Jaemin wanted more.

But he also wanted to stop.

Dejun finally started to slow down, and proceeded to move back before he felt wet droplets touch his nose. He briefly sees the elder’s eyes watery and red, before Dejun quickly wiped his eyes with his arm.

All of them seemed to be too shocked to comment after watching them, every bit of them, silent.

Dejun almost falls forward, when Jaemin catches him. “Hyung— are you okay?” He asks, worried at the elder’s state.

“M’fine— just a little sleepy,” the elder mumbles. If Jaemin notices the slight tremble on the elder’s voice, he doesn’t comment on it.

“Yangyang, do you have guest rooms— Dejun hyung is drunk.”

“Oh— wait, follow me,” before standing and helping Jaemin carry the elder.

“Continue without us,” he says, looking over at Renjun, before carefully carrying Dejun to a room so he could rest.

  
  


Jaemin and Yangyang, slowly lay Dejun on the bed after finding a room that was far from the blaring music. Jaemin thanks Yangyang before the other went on his way.

Jaemin removes the elder’s flip flops, before bringing the blanket over his hyung’s body. He leans closer to him, brushing off the sweat-slicked hair from Dejun’s forehead.

Dejun groans, might be dizzy from the alcohol he drank.

“Hyung— do you need anything, I could get you some water,” Jaemin says, making his way to stand up before Dejun grabs his hand.

“No— just stay here,” the elder mumbles, his eyes still closed before pulling at Jaemin’s arms. 

“Okay.”

He headed over to the other side of the bed before sitting down, gently caressing the elder’s head.

“I didn’t know four shots of vodka would get you drunk,” he says, chuckling. “Me, Xuxi, and Jeno played beer pong before you arrived,” he mumbles to him.

“I lost many times,” he whispers. Jaemin smiles at him, urging him to rest.

After a few minutes, Jaemin could hear Dejun’s light snoring, before he took a good look at the elder.

Jaemin feels the guilt seeping in his body, more prominent than ever. He slightly leans down to the elder’s face, “I’m sorry hyung— I never wanted to hurt you,” he whispers slowly.

He was about to leave a short kiss on the elder’s forehead before he hesitates. 

_ I don’t have the right. _

  
  


Chenle came into the room after Dejun had fallen deeper into his sleep.

“Can you look after him for a while?” Jaemin says, looking at the elder’s sleeping figure, “I’ll just get some water and medicine for when he wakes up.”

Chenle nods, before Jaemin makes his way out the room.

Jaemin went to the kitchen, retrieving a few bottled water from the fridge. He tries to find Yangyang, wanting to ask where he keeps his medicine.

He sees on the living room couch, with a splayed out (and drunk) Ten, laying his head on Yangyang’s lap. 

Yangyang was about to make his way to stand up when Jaemin asked where his medicine cabinet was when Jaemin insisted he’d get them himself, gesturing to the sleeping Ten in his lap.

“There’s a room by the end of the hallway in the second floor— it’s in the bathroom cabinet,” Yangyang says, soft enough not to wake the elder.

“Thanks.”

Jaemin immediately found the room situated at the end of the second floor hallway. He quickly enters and makes his way straight to the bathroom.

There was a bunch of medicine in the cabinet, he took mostly pain killers and hangover medicine before promptly closing it and making his way out of the room.

He noticed one of the doors in the hallway was ajar. He hears rustling of clothes and the thump of a body falling down on a bed. He feels his cheeks redden when he hears a groan from the inside.

He was about to hurry up and leave them when he heard a loud whine against the faint music downstairs.

“Jeno.”

Jaemin could feel his heart stop, his voice familiar to Jaemin,  _ it’s Renjun.  _ He stays still, doesn’t trust his legs to move quietly, afraid that they would hear him take a step.

He hears the bed creaking, and more groans from the inside.

_ Oh God _

“Renjun stop, you’re drunk,” he hears Jeno say to the other, chuckling, to which the elder denied quickly, he stammers out, clearly drunk.

“Are you mad at me?” He hears Renjun say, his voice small and tone delicate. “No— of course not.”

Jaemin’s curiosity got the best of him, before he knew it, he was leaning closer to the little space, trying to take a peek at the other two.

He sees Jeno sitting down on the bed, beside Renjun, pouting. 

“Then why don’t you want me to kiss you,” he says, not facing the other. Jaemin could hear Jeno snicker, “But we already did, earlier.” 

“Why didn’t you kiss me back?” His voice was small, before he faced Jeno. Jeno stays quiet, pondering for an answer.

“Don’t you love me?” Renjun interrupts his thoughts, his voice sad and pleading. Jeno stretches his hands, grabbing Renjun’s right hand with his left and placing his right on the other’s face.

“Believe me, I do— more than anything,” he hears Jeno say. Jaemin feels guilty for eavesdropping on them, felt like he was ruining their intimate space.

He tries once more to walk away but he hears Renjun speak, almost shouting. 

“Then why?”

“Because it was just a dare,” he says, smiling at the other before mumbling something Jaemin couldn’t hear. Renjun immediately shakes his head. 

“Jeno no, I—” Jaemin hears Renjun stutter out. He sees his expression, face looking guilty— caught. Jeno shakes his head slowly at the elder before placing his hands on his shoulders, “It‘s okay,” he says softly.

“But you’re hurt,” Renjun says back.

“It was my idea— remember?” Jeno insists, gently rubbing at his shoulders. Renjun stays quiet, his mouth not moving, still looks upset.

“I’m sorry— I knew this was hard on you,” Renjun manages to say.

“I’m okay— you just need to focus on yourself, find the answer to your questions,” he says to him.

Jaemin curls his forehead, confused at what Jeno meant to say. 

“But I want you to be happy too,” he hears Renjun say to him. “I’m happy when you’re happy,” Jeno says, before moving closer to embrace him.

“If it works out, I’ll be happy with you— if it doesn’t, I’ll be happy for you.”

_ If what works out? _ Jaemin asked himself. He can hear Renjun mumble something to Jeno, he tries to get closer to decipher what the eldest said when his phone goes off.

_ Shit.  _ He immediately shuts it off, hoping that neither of the two heard him.

“What was that?” He hears Renjun say out loud. Jeno turns around in his direction. He immediately moves his head out of sight, his heart pounding. 

_ Did he see me?  _ He thought before hearing the floor wood creaking, light steps approaching the door. Panicked, he sprints across the hallway, as fast as he could, running down the stairs to where Dejun was, hoping they didn’t catch the sight of him.

When he gets to where Dejun and Chenle were, he immediately closes the door behind him, panting before he slumps down to the floor.

“Did you run?” Chenle says to him, confused.

Jaemin tries to catch his breath, before making his way near the other two, places down the water bottles and medicine he retrieved, ignoring the younger’s questioning gaze.

“I think we should call the night, and go home,” he says, still panting.

“What about Dejun hyung?” The younger asks, both of them looking over at the sleeping figure.

“Let’s take him with us— he could sleep in my room while I take the couch.”

Chenle looks like he wanted to say something more, ask him more questions before he nods in agreement, “I’ll ask Xuxi gege if he could give us a ride.”

“Thanks,” Jaemin says, before walking over to Dejun. 

He carefully wakes the elder up. Dejun opens his eyes slowly, taking in Jaemin’s image, “Hmm?”

“Hyung— come on, drink your medicine,” Jaemin says, handing over an opened bottle of water and some aspirin, slowly helping the elder sit up.

“Are we going home?” Dejun asked him after drinking medicine.

Yukhei appears in the room, car keys in hand, “Are we ready?” Jaemin nods at him, before facing Dejun, caressing his hair.

“Yeah, we’re going home.”

—————

Jaemin opens his eyes to the harsh morning light, squinting as he sits up from the couch. Jaemin rubs the tiredness from his eyes, making way to the kitchen, grabbing a quick cup of water.

Arms stretched in the air, trying to shake the sleep away, when he spots a piece of paper on top of the dining table. He snatched the note, blinking his eyes to see better.

  
  


**Chenle-yah, Jaemin-ah, thank you for taking care of me last night and letting me stay in your room. By the time you’re reading this, I’d have arrived home already. Don’t worry, I called Kunhang to help me get home, I didn’t want to wake you guys up. See you guys soon on practice?**

**Dejun <3**

**P.S. Jaemin-ah, you should wear a shirt while sleeping, you’ll catch a cold :]**

  
  


Jaemin immediately reddens, groaning as he realizes that the elder saw him in his disheveled state. Before he could text the elder, he opens his phone to a text message from Renjun. He gulps before clicking it open.

  
  


**Renjun**

Jungwoo hyung told me you guys already went home. Drink a lot of water when you get up, it’s good for your hangover :>

  
  


Jaemin could feel his throat tighten in realization. Slowly dreading the fact that he needs to talk with the elder, break the news to him. 

_ Shit. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jaemin-ahhhh why u so confused :[
> 
> Hope you guys are still reading hehe


	8. Chapter 8

Jaemin tries to talk to Dejun all week, but the elder has been busy with student council meetings, couldn’t even attend the practices they had.

Their little lunch meetings with everyone didn’t really help him take his mind off his thoughts. Surrounded by three couples pushed the nail into the coffin. 

Seeing as how everyone was in some sort of happy relationship with each other, while he was about to hurt someone who liked him. He sighs whenever he sees Donghyuck and Mark holding hands on top of the table and mentally groans when Jisung and Chenle start pinching each other.

Seeing Jeno and Renjun flirt like nobody’s business just makes him remember what both of them talked about that night of the party, adding up to his heavy pile of thoughts. He has been trying to rack his brain all week, coming up with all the possible ideas he could think of, but to no use.

He needs to distract himself, lucky enough there was a practice meeting later in the afternoon for the production. Jaemin always felt free when he was rehearsing his roles, made him feel like he could escape the troubles that’s bothering him.

When he and Jeno enter the auditorium, he immediately makes his way to the back of the practice hall, hoping to find the space empty, so he could be alone and immerse in practice.

Jaemin was lucky enough to see the back room empty, but very spacious.  _ Perfect, _ Jaemin thought before closing the door behind him, wanted to lock it but forewent the idea.

There was a speaker on one of the tables, and it gave Jaemin the idea to rehearse his one and only dancing scene in the whole production. 

The dance club members were there to substitute actors during dancing scenes. But since it was the only scene where he had to dance, he wanted to perform it himself.

He brings the speaker in the middle of the room, whips out his phone and connects it to the speaker. He peers around the room, looking for something he could use as a practice partner.

_ Aha!  _ He mentally cheers as he sees a broom, slightly chuckling at the thought that someone may catch him dancing with a broom.

He grabs the broom, practicing the dance position, before he plays the music.

He starts swaying for a moment, trying to feel the beat and the melody of the song before starting to step, gently pulling the broom across the room.

Jaemin tries to remember the last time he danced the waltz as he roam around the room, twirling with his broom. He tries to recall their last high school dance two years ago. He remembers that he and Chenle went alone, both of them busy with the rehearsals for the play that year to find a partner to take to the dance.

  
  


_ Jaemin imagines that he was back in that dance, imagining someone dragging him into the center of the venue, inviting him to slow dance as he closes his eyes. _

_ He tries to put a face to the person who dragged him but he couldn’t, only seeing a shadow cast over him as they started dancing. _

_ He imagines him spinning his partner around, simultaneously spinning the broom he’s holding. Jaemin could hear the person laugh, before he started laughing too, endeared at his imagination. _

_ Jaemin could imagine the person’s mouth moving, trying to say something. Jaemin slows down, trying to make out the words. _

_ “Jaemin.” _

_ He abruptly stops dancing, hears his name before seeing how light shines on the other, slowly travelling up, slowly revealing the face. _

  
  


“Jaemin?”

He immediately opens his eyes, facing the direction of the voice. 

“Renjun,” he gasps out, seeing the elder across from him, gently closing the door behind him. “Why are you here?” The other asks him.

“Umm— I was just practicing, for the dance scene,” He huffs out a reply. He blinks at him, swallows, “Uhh— you? What are you doing here?”

“Oh— I was looking for Jeno,” he says sheepishly.  _ Of course,  _ Jaemin thought to himself.

_ He wouldn’t look for me. _

“I think he was with Yeri— helping her rehearse,” he says, voice suddenly shy and timid, to which Renjun replies with a sift ‘oh,’ nodding at him.

There was a brief moment of silence between them, Jaemin tried to think of what to say, so that they wouldn’t have this awkward between them.

Renjun was about to open the door when Jaemin immediately blurted out, “Did you have a high school ball?”

Renjun blinks at him, slightly confused by the other’s sudden question and interest, but nevertheless he nods at him.

“I did.”

“Ah— I just wanted to ask, since you transferred schools,” Jaemin manages to say, cursing at himself for stuttering in front of the elder.

“Oh.”

There was another few seconds of them not speaking. Jaemin regrets ever asking the question,  _ Why did I have to ask that ughhh. _

“Who did you go with?” Renjun interrupts his thoughts. He looks back up at the elder’s eyes, seeing him slightly lower his head.

“I didn’t come with anyone— busy with the club,” Jaemin explains, try to sound relaxed but came out slightly off. “You? Did you come with someone?”

“Ahhh— no I didn’t,” he replies.

Jaemin tilts his head at that, wanting to ask why he didn;t go with Jeno bit refrains himself at the last second, saving both of themselves fromm the awkwardness.

There was a beat of silence between them before Jaemin opened his mouth.

“Do you want to dance,” Jaemin mutters out, earning a quick look from the elder. He slightly breathes in air before he continues, “Practice with me?”

Jaemin could see the elder’s mouth slightly open, immediately regretting asking him to dance with him.  _ What the fuck were you thinking? _ He scolds himself.

“Uh, you can just ignore tha— ”

“Okay.”

Jaemin stills at what Renjun said, before slightly relaxing. 

“Okay as in— dance with me?” He asks once again, trying to make sure he didn’t mishear him this time around.

Renjun doesn’t speak but Jaemin could see the way the elder slightly nodding his head, before smiling at him.

“Oh— great, umm let me play the music?” 

“Sure.”

Jaemin scrambles to get his phone, rewinding back the song for the dance before placing it beside the speakers. Jaemin gestures Renjun to come closer at the center of the room.

Renjun’s cheeks were slightly tinted pink, in a similar state with Jaemin, both of them incredibly shy with each other’s presence.

“You know how to waltz, right?” Jaemin tries, earning a look from the elder before he scoffs at him.

“Of course— I am a dance club member,” He says, voice slightly teasing. Jaemin could feel his face heat up, embarrassed by his question.

Renjun holds up his hands in position, gesturing the younger to come nearer. Renjun corrects the taller’s hand positions, slightly shifting them into their proper place.

“Ready?” Jaemin asks the elder.

“Ready.”

At that, Jaemin presses the play button on his phone, before shifting back into their previous positions, his right hand holding Renjun’s left, his left holding the other’s waist and Renjun’s right hand on top of his shoulders.

They start small, slowly feeling the music, gently swaying left and right. Jaemin takes a quick look at the elder. For a moment their eyes meet, embarrassed and shy, Renjun turns his gaze away.

Jaemin would have felt hurt if it wasn’t for the way the elder’s face tinges in pink. Jaemin smiles small, delighted by the situation. 

The elder felt Jaemin’s gaze linger on him. He closed his eyes for a moment, readies himself before he looked back at him. 

Renjun could tell Jaemin didn’t expect him to return his gaze this quickly, felt how the other stilled for a quick second, before trying to relax himself.

Renjun giggles at him, the other’s face in a similar state as well, pink decorating his cheeks. 

Jaemin could feel the elder lean and pull him into his side as the music started getting faster and more intense. The elder tries to lead him, and he follows.

Jaemin could feel his hands clammy, a bit nervous as they start making wide steps and big sways. Renjun could feel Jaemin tense, see his expression, feel him get out of sync with the music.

“Hey,” Renjun says softly.

Jaemin snaps out of his thoughts, trying to take a good look at the other. 

“Breathe— relax,” he hears the elder whisper to him, before the elder sends him a small smile for comfort. He gulps before nodding his head to the elder.

He tries to relax, breathe slowly and calm his pounding heart but couldn’t. His limbs start to freeze before his foot accidentally trips on Renjun’s. 

“Sorry,” he mutters out, looking down to both of their feet, his senses overloading as he tries to avoid making more mistakes as they move.

Hyperaware, he registers Renjun’s left hand— intertwined with his, carefully drags his hand onto the elder’s chest, placing his left hand on top of his.

Jaemin was about to ask why, when he felt the elder’s hand squeeze his. He looks at his right hand before gazing at other.

“I’m here— just follow the beat of my heart,” Renjun whispers, slightly pressing his hand on top of Jaemin against his chest, the calm beat of his heart more noticeable.

Jaemin tries breathing in, focusing on the soothing rhythm of Renjun’s heart. Jaemin smiles at the other when he successfully calms himself down.

The moment Jaemin allowed himself to let go of his worries and inhibitions, he allowed the other to guide his body, moving complementary against his. Now more relaxed, Jaemin could easily follow Renjun along the sound of the music, no more feet tripping,  _ no more mistakes. _

Jaemin allowed a small smile directed at the other, a silent thank you, for helping him get over his nerves— to which Renjun returned in glee.

As the song progressed, Jaemin decided to take the lead from Renjun, shifting their intertwined hands properly in position, and Renjun allowed him, letting his body fall and sway along Jaemin.

Jaemin guided both of their bodies across the room, their movements progressively getting faster but still maintained to be graceful.

Jaemin could see the elder close his eyes, a smile painted on his face. He took the opportunity to take a good look at Renjun. He sees the way his raven hair fall softly just slightly below his eyebrows.

He sees the way Renjun’s eyelashes sit atop the lower area of his eyes, can hear the elder humm against the music, his mouth closed. 

Jaemin holds the smaller a bit closer, feeling his petite stature slightly graze against his, still looking at the other as Renjun opens his eyes, staring straight back at him.

Renjun crinkles his eyes at him, his nose slightly scrunching as his lips tugs up into a smile.

The music comes slows down, almost faint in their ears as Jaemin slowly and carefully unravels his body away from Renjun, squeezing Renjun’s left hand with his right. Renjun looks at him one more time, before letting Jaemin guide their hands upward, slowly turning him around.

Renjun’s back lands softly against Jaemin’s chest after he spins, the other catching his opposite hand. He could hear Jaemin's breath hitch at their close proximity.

Renjun slightly shivers as he feels Jaemin’s faint breath on his neck, Jaemin’s face situated at the side of his face, before he takes a look at the taller.

Jaemin tilts his head slightly down, catching the elder’s gaze on him, giving him a small smile before they start swaying once more, slowly getting faster for the final spin.

The music has come near to the point of climax, Jaemin quickly darts to wet his lips, “Ready?”, he says to him, voice breathy. Renjun takes a second before he realizes, quickly nodding.

“Yes, I’m ready.”

At that, Jaemin pulls the other’s hand, holding them up and around Renjun, gracefully turning him as he looks straight at him.

_ First turn. _

_ Second turn. _

Renjun was about to finish the third and last turn when he tripped on one of the taller’s feet, losing his balance. Luckily enough, Jaemin manages to catch and steady him to his feet.

Both of them looked at each other’s eyes, before Renjun started laughing wholly as the music slowly ended.

Jaemin could feel his heart beat on his ears, pounding heavily as he hears Renjun’s hearty laughs, and sees the way his eyes smile— almost closing.

He feels out of breath when he sees the elder smile, edges of his smile, grinning from ear to ear, sees how his pink lips are tugged at the corners.

_ Oh God.  _

Jaemin gulps, staring at how the room’s light strikes against the other’s face, at how it casts a light shadow from Renjun’s delicate nose and lips.

_ He looks beautiful. _

Jaemin snaps out of his thoughts when he notices Renjun mouth something at him. 

“Huh?”

Renjun chuckles at that, “I said— it’s crazy how I always saw you practicing before, but this is the first time I helped you practice all these years.”

“Yeah— crazy,” he replies back, his voice a slightly rough, could feel Renjun’s breathing against him, their faces close. He slowly gazes on the other’s lips before he stares back at Renjun’s eyes.

Renjun blinks at him.

Jaemin inched closer, leaned his face forwards, until he felt Renjun’s breath against his lips. He looks at Renjun one more time, giving him the option to back away, silently screaming to push him away, but Renjun stays still, didn’t move back or forward as if it’s almost waiting for Jaemin.

Jaemin closed his eyes, slightly tilting his head as he slowly leaned in the remaining space between their faces, their lips gently meeting against each other.

Renjun’s lips were still soft as far as he could remember. His lips moist and plump against his. He could feel the way Renjun’s breath touches his face.

A few seconds have passed and Jaemin feels Renjun freeze against him, he opens his eyes quickly, seeing the way Renjun looks at him, almost looks scared and Jaemin’s heart breaks.  _ I've made a mistake,  _ he thought before breaking the kiss. 

He moves back an inch, staring at Renjun, his face and body still, waiting for a reaction. 

_ Please say something. _

Jaemin’s throat tightens at the realization as reality seeps back in.  _ This is wrong. _

He steps back from the other, turned around towards the door and started walking away when he feels a tug on his shirt. 

He swallows as he looks at the elder slowly. He sees Renjun’s head lowered down, the other’s fist tightening against the sleeves of his shirt when he hears him mumble.

“What?” He asks carefully. A quick few seconds pass by when Renjun faces him once again, cheeks slightly pink, as his lips tremble, silently mouthing the words.

  
  


Jaemin immediately closes the distance between them, kissing him once again. He grabs Renjun’s shoulders, pulling him into his space closer as he deepens their kiss.

Renjun responds to his kiss, finally moving his lips against his, placing both of his hands at the back of Jaemin’s neck, impossibly trying to make their lips closer. Their lips parting, then meeting again, over and over.

He hears Renjun gasp when the elder’s lips feel the light swipe of his tongue, before Renjun’s lips parted allowing him entry. 

Both of them kissing each other for real, Jaemin pushes his tongue inside Renjun’s open lips, meeting against Renjun’s. He could feel him whine against him, pulling his waist closer.

He hears Renjun whine against him. It felt great, incredible even, finally kissing the person he’s waited for years.

They part one more time for a breath before Renjun closes the gap between them one more time, deepening the kiss. Jaemin groans when he feels Renjun bite at his lower lip, wanting access before he parts his mouth in compliance, tilting his head, slotting their lips closer.

He’s grip on Renjun tightens, feeling a little sorry as Renjun slightly yelps into their kiss. 

_ I missed you. _

And it was all over, quickly as Renjun’s body stiffened and pushed him back. They start to pant after breaking apart, sees Renjun’s wide eyes, staring behind him.

He quickly turns around to the direction, his heart sinks as he sees.

_ Dejun hyung. _

He sees the elder by the door, his hand trembling on the door knob. He looks at the Dejun’s face and he immediately pales, seeing the elder’s red eyes, watery.

“Hyung.”

A tear falls down on the elder’s face before he immediately gets out of the room, closes the door behind him.

Jaemin quickly follows the elder, calling for his name, 

“Hyung wait—”

He sees the elder wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his shirt as he walked away. Jaemin sprints towards him, catching his hand, turning him around.

“Hyung, I-I’m—”

“Stop.” 

Jaemin tried to stop the elder from going away, holding his hand tightly, “I’m sorry,” he says. Dejun yanks his arm away and out of the taller’s clutch.

“Don’t,” Dejun manages to say tersely, his teeth gritted. Jaemin could see the way his back was trembling, shaking as he prevented himself from bursting.

He could hear the elder breathe in before slowly turning around to look at him. He sees the way the elder’s eyes were downcast, almost lifeless.

“Don’t say sorry if you don’t mean it.”

Jaemin tries to say something, anything, just to relieve his hyung’s grief. But he stands there, stiff, and rendered speechless. He snaps out of his thoughts when he sees him move.

“I already knew what I was getting myself into,” the elder says, miserably chuckling. “You already said that you weren’t ready, said that you still had doubts,” he mumbles out before looking at Jaemin’s eyes.

“I just didn’t know I was about to jump when no one’s there to catch me.”

“Dejun hyung,” Jaemin utters out weakly, swallows when he feels his throat constricting his words. “I was going to tell you, I didn’t want you to hurt.”

“You’re too late.”

Dejun’s eyes spots a figure behind Jaemin, approaching them, “Is it him?” He asks, nodding at Renjun’s direction.

“What?”

“Is Renjun your ex-boyfriend?”

Jaemin stiffens, looking at Renjun behind him before he looks back at the elder, nodding at him meekly, ashamed.

“What were you going to tell me, huh?” He questions, his voice heavy. “That you haven’t moved on— from him?” He says, pointing at Renjun beside me.

Jaemin’s words are stuck in his throat, wanting to deny Dejun’s words, but he can’t, knowing fully well it’s true.

He could register that Renjun moved slightly, and felt that he also wanted to say something to the elder, when Dejun started talking.

“Tell me why,” he starts, his voice shaking, desperately trying not to break in front of them. “Why can’t it be me?” He asks him, even though, in his heart, he already knows why— just wanted to hear it from Jaemin.

“Tell me!” He screams, his voice hoarse and rough, his eyes pleading— looking at the taller just standing there, pleading for an answer, a _ nything. _

“Is it my face?”

Jaemin’s heart breaks for his hyung, his chest heavy at the way he made Dejun feel like he had no worth, like he was nothing to him. 

“No, It’s not your fault, I’m the one who made the mistake—”

“Stop with the lies! What’s wrong with me?”

Jaemin wanted to say ‘nothing’s wrong,’ but he stilled. It’s hard for a person with a broken heart to see reason, any more words can hurt him further, he decided it was better for the elder if he stayed silent.

“Tell me, did I even have a chance— was I even an option?” The elder says, his voice cracking, a tear falling, followed by another, and another.

A beat of silence passes by, neither the three of them talking.

“I see,” the elder says, looking at Jaemin in the eyes, then glances at Renjun, before going back to Jaemin. 

“I hope you guys are happy.”

Dejun walks out of the hallway, neither Jaemin nor Renjun had the energy nor the nerve to follow him after what had happened.

There were already a few people surrounding them, Jaemin didn’t notice them coming in, didn't really care if they heard them, they deserved to know how horrible he was.

He snaps out of his thoughts when Chenle neared him, skipping quickly at him. 

“What happened?” The younger asks him, glancing both at him and Renjun. Jaemin thought about why it had to happen this way, why he had to hurt Dejun.

He feels a tug on his sleeve, seeing Renjun look at him, “Jaemin—“

“Please, don’t.” He says curtly, dismissing the elder. “That kiss? That was a mistake, we shouldn’t have done it.” He says, trying to leave. 

“We need to talk, I—” 

Jaemin turns around to look at him, heart heavy, “Talk about what? That I haven’t moved on?” He says, his voice angry, angry at Renjun, angry at himself _.  _ “Is that what you wanted to know?” He presses on.

“Jaemin please, is it true?” He hears the smaller say, grabbing his hands, voice desperate. “After all these years?”

“Yes!” He shouts at him, voice shaking. He could feel his eyes, water, his body shaking, desperately trying to stow it off before he continued. “After all these years I still love you.”

Renjun blinks at him, his face indescribable, mouth parted open.

“Even after you left me.”

Renjun swallows, slightly guilty. “That’s not fair,” he says to him, his voice slightly trembling. “I wasn’t the one who broke us up,” he continues, immediately regretting it after seeing Jaemin’s expression.

Affronted, he snaps back at him, “you were the one who left without saying anything.” He accuses him, the tone of his voice dripping with poison.

Renjun closes his mouth at that, looks hurt, but tries to hide it from the other.

“Why did you even come back?” Jaemin urges on, looking Renjun dead in the eyes. “Now? Of all times?” 

Renjun tries to calm him down, tries to explain but is only getting talked over by the taller.

“Why did you have to come back when I was almost ready to move on from you?”

“Because I haven’t moved on either!” The elder screams, earning silence from everyone in the hall.

Jaemin blinks his eyes, confused. “Are you serious?” He says incredulously, getting angrier by the second. “Do you even hear yourself?”

“It’s the truth.” Renjun muters out, manages to calm himself down. Jaemin scoffs at him, seeing Jeno slowly approaching behind Renjun.

“Don’t lie to me when you’re boyfriend is standing right there,” Jaemin spits out, his tone hateful as he shoves Renjun’s hands away from him.

“Hey!” He hears Jeno say as he steps in between them, grabbing the front of Jaemin’s shirt. “Don’t touch him,” he growls, before shoving the other back.

Jaemin and Jeno start pushing at each other, almost egging at each other to throw the first punch when Renjun stops them.

“We’re not together.”

Jaemin stiffens at his words, slowly looking at the elder, urging him to repeat what he had said, “What?”

“We’re not together!”

Jaemin feels confused, almost angry at this point. When is the lying going to end? “What are you even saying!”

“We were fake dating so I could win you back.” He stutters out, bowing his head in shame.

“It’s true,” he could hear Jeno say, tightly.

Jaemin almost whites out at the words that are coming out of the other two.

Renjun tries to take a peek at the younger, seeing his expression blank, before Jaemin twitches for a second, and starts laughing uncontrollably.

Jaemin’s laugh was not pleasant to hear, his laugh mocking then shifted to something along the line of hatred and hurt.

“Was it fun?” Jaemin says after he stops, voice dripping in sarcasm. “Was it fun making me your play thing?” He says, looking both at Jeno and Renjun as he steps closer.

Jaemin was an inch away from Renjun, their eyes locked together, before he pokes his fingers right against the other’s chest.

“Was it fun messing with my feelings?”

Renjun visibly swallows, trying to formulate an answer, shifting his eyes left and right away from Jaemin;s predatory ones. He feels the jab of the taller’s fingers over and over again, slightly shoving athis chest as Jaemin tries to get an answer out of him.

“Jaemin— it wasn’t my intention to hurt you,” the elder says, his voice pleading, but Jaemin wasn’t having any of it.

“Bullshit! For once, ever since you got here, can we please stop all this lying?” He says, voice cracking, desperate to know, to hear Renjun’s truths.

“I’m not lying, I don’t expect you to believe me but—”

“You’re right!” He interrupts him, his chest heaving. “I don’t believe you,” he snarls.

“Why?” Renjun questions him. “Why don’t you believe that I still feel the same way as you?” He asks, grabbing the elder’s hand once again.

“Because if you did, you would have talked to me two years ago,” he says through his greeted teeth.

Jaemin spots Donghyuck at the corner of his eyes before he continues. “Donghyuck told me, you met him when you visited the year after we broke up.”

“Why didn’t you show up then?” He finishes, looking at the way the smaller hesitates in his spot. “I wanted to but—”

“But what? Why didn’t you see me?” He finally asks the other, the question that has been haunting him the day he knew of Renjun’s visit, finally released from his chest.

“I did,” Renjun mumbles in his mouth before clearing his throat. “I did see you that day, both you and Chenle,” he louden his voice, looking at Chenle behind Jaemin.

“Stop lying!” He says too loudly for everyone to hear, tired at how things are at a push and pull.

“I’m not!” Renjun forces, looks also exhausted from the argument that doesn’t seem to go anywhere.

“I don’t believe you,” Jaemin responds, his voice low, almost like a whisper, filled with denial.

“Donghyuck wasn’t the only one who saw me when I came back,” the elder starts, peering at the figure behind Jaemin.

“Chenle.”

Jaemin hearts drops at the elder’s words before he quickly turns his body to the younger, grabbing his arm. He gulps before asking, “He’s lying, isn’t he?” 

Chenle is rendered speechless, his words stuck as he sees the way Jaemin looks at him, his eyes pleading, almost pleading him to say yes.

“I’m sorry.” He confesses, his heart becomes heavy at the way Jaemin’s gaze widens. 

Jaemin couldn’t believe what he’s hearing from the younger, from his best friend. He tries asking him more questions, hoping it was just a misunderstanding.

“When? When did you see him?”

“Hyung,” Chenle tries, wants to appease the elder when Jaemin grabs both of his shoulders, shaking him forcefully. 

“When!”

Renjun grabs one of Jaemin’s arms, pulling his furious arms away from the younger. He turns Jaemin around to face him, stares at him before he opens his mouth.

“It was the day you kissed.” Renjun whispers.

“What?”

He couldn’t understand what he’s hearing, couldn’t comprehend the words coming out of the elder.  _ Impossible. _

He snaps out of his thoughts when the elder continues. “It was after the day I visited, after your graduation.”

He licks his lips, glancing at Chenle before looking back at him. “It was at night, you two were outside your apartment,” he reminds Jaemin.

“You were talking about something, I didn’t hear.”

Jaemin pales at his words, before the elder speaks. “He leaned in to your face—”

Renjun hesitates, takes a good look at him, then stares straight at Chenle, “Before he kissed you.”

Jaemin was about to interrupt him but he continued, “Chenle saw me after you broke apart,” he elaborates.

Jaemin spins around, sees the younger shake, almost scared, grabbing him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Chenle was whimpering, couldn’t look at Jaemin in the eye, just stood there and lets himself be jostled around.

“Why did you just stand there?”

Renjun grabs Jaemin’s arms and stops him, gets in between the two of them. “It’s not his fault!” He shouted.

“I knew he was going to tell you— but I shook my head no,” the elder confesses, for the third time this afternoon.

“Why did you—”

“Why wouldn’t I? I thought you and Chenle were together, and I didn’t want to ruin that,” he finishes, voice thick and heavy.

Jaemin realizes what the elder meant, starts stuttering out explanations, tries to reason, “No. That kiss— It’s not what you think—” 

“I think that’s enough for today,” Chenle mumbles out, his voice small.

Jaemin turns cross at that, almost fuming at the younger.

“No! Why didn’t you tell me!” Jaemin cries at Chenle, is sick and tired of constantly delaying everything, can’t wait for even a second for the truth to come out. 

“That kiss didn’t mean anything, did it?”

The younger immediately pales at his words, all the redness gone, almost as if his blood has been sucked out.

“He doesn’t know?”

Jaemin registers what Renjun had whispered, quickly looks at the elder, “Doesn’t know what?”

Renjun stops talking immediately, shifts his gaze away, immediately regretting speaking.

“Tell me! No more lies!” He shouts to no one in particular, just desperate for answers.

“Chenle, you can tell me right? I’m your hyung, your best friend?” He begs, the unanswered questions in his mind, swarming him.

“Please— I can’t,” the younger whimpers out, his eyes begging Jaemin not to continue.

Jaemin’s calm usual self would have not overstepped his boundaries, but right now he’s tired, tired of being confused all the time, tired of being in the shadow of everything.

“Tell me what it is!” He demands, voice rough from all the shouting.

“I can’t say it— Hyung, I just can’t,” the younger sobs.

_ Why can’t he say it, what’s he hiding?  _ Jaemin thinks, staring hard at the younger, seeing him trembling when he realizes it.

_ It’s not that— right? _

Jaemin gulps, hesitates to ask, but continues, “No, you don’t right? It’s not true right?”

Jaemin’s heart sinks at the way Chenle’s face visibly breaks, wishing he could take the question back, but there’s nothing to be done now.

“Oh God, please don’t make me say it,” Chenle says, begging.

Jaemin’s breath hitches at the younger’s words, “Chenle-yah, do you have feelings for me?”

He hears a few gasps from everyone around him, their close friends couldn’t believe it either. At his words, Chenle crumbles down to the floor, making himself small, tries to hide himself with his arms.

“I’m sorry— I tried so hard not to tell,” Chenle’s voice breaking. Jaemin could feel tears prick his eyes at the way Chenle pants, his chest heaving as he cries hard.

“Since when?”

Jisung approaches them at last, hands of Jaemin, slowly and weakly pushing him away. “Please, let’s stop now.” He says as crouches down, cradling Chenle in his arms.

Jaemin was about to argue when Renjun held him in place, “Even before we became boyfriends,” he whispers, but Jaemin hears him.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” he growled at him. “Chenle, tell me you’re lying!” He persists.

“That kiss— you know why that happened,” he stutters, trying to recall the memories of that afternoon, before his eyes darkened.

“W—were you just using me?” He spits out, tone accusing, almost livid.

Jaemin didn’t have the chance to hear the choke that Chenle let out, when he registers a fist colliding in his face as he stumbles to the side.

“How dare you!” Renjun yells at him, red-eyed from his words. 

“How could you say that to him!”

“What am I supposed to say? How am I supposed to react— Tell me!” Jaemin is livid, angry, and most of all— he’s hurt. 

The people around him are silent, Renjun bows his head, not knowing what to say to appease him.

“Tell me what I’m supposed to do when the two people I’ve loved the most lied to me!” He howls. Jaemin almost doesn’t care if his words are sharp and pointed, he almost doesn’t care if he hurts someone.

_ Almost. _

And then he hears Chenle sob.

Chenle, a person with a voice so bright and high, now reduced to pitiful crying.

He quickly looks over to him, sees Jisung helping him stand up, sees the way his tear-stricken face, dishevelled, still shaking before the younger looks at him, scared.

And that’s what breaks him.

Suddenly, he doesn’t hear the whispers and murmurs around him. 

Suddenly, he doesn’t see the way everyone’s staring at him,

Suddenly, he doesn’t want to feel anything anymore.

_ I’m done. _

“I’m going home,” he mutters out to no one in particular, tired at everything.

“Jaemin wait—”

“No, I’m done— don’t follow me,” he quietly says, making his way through the crowd that collected earlier, and made his way home, avoiding looking at anyone.

—————

Jaemin wakes up in their couch, still in yesterday’s clothes, dizzy, his head hurting. He takes a look around their apartment, slowly seeing everything in tacts.

He pushes himself up, drags himself across the living room, almost crawling his way to Chenle’s room. He’s been waiting for the younger to come back home all night, expecting that the younger would want to talk with him, like always.

But when he opens the younger’s room, his heart drops to his stomach, seeing the bed sheets unruffled and neat and sees most of the younger’s things,  _ gone. _

Like he had never lived here at all with him. He notices a piece of paper on top of Chenle’s made bed, quickly snatching it for a look.

_ It’s a note, from Jisung. _

  
  


**Jisung**

**Hyung, last night me and Chenle came to get his stuff, he won’t be coming here for a while— to give you space to think. Don’t worry, he’ll be with me, so until the day both of you talk this out, please take care of yourself.**

  
  


Jaemin rereads the note a few times over before falling back on Chenle’s bed, realizing how everything went south, his and Dejun’s relationship, his friendship with Chenle, and Renjun before he cries himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwww poor Dejun and Chenle :<<<<
> 
> Poor Renjun and Jaemin too :[
> 
> i swear I love Jaemin, i didn’t want him to get the villain edit but everybody loves him too so that’s that HAHAHA i


	9. Chapter 9

It’s been a few weeks since the practice incident had happened, and Jaemin still hasn’t figured out what he should do, still confused and upset at everything that had happened. During the course of the weeks, Jaemin decided it was best if he would avoid going to lunch with the six of them.

_ I’m the one with a problem. _

Even though he avoids the rest of them, he still sees Renjun and Chenle, mostly at practices, but the most interaction that happens between them are only eye contacts between them, before promptly breaking their gaze away.

Because of this, Jaemin couldn’t concentrate at all as he looked at his test paper in front of him.

_ Did we even learn this?  _ Jaemin mentally groans as he plops his head down his desk. He hears Jeno beside him whisper a ‘good luck,’ before getting back in his seat.

He takes a look back at Jeno, sees him already starting the exam, when he recalls what had happened the first day they shared a class after the practice fiasco.

  
  


_ He remembers when Jeno sat down next to him, his usual place next to his desk. Jaemin looked at him, awfully confused, and had wanted to move seats away from him when Jaeno gently tugs at his shirt, stopping him. _

_ “You don’t have to move seats, we don’t have to talk about it,” he says to him, smiling softly.  _

_ “We don’t have to talk about it— not until you’re ready,“ he finishes, pulling out his notebook, before focusing on tha class. _

_ Jaemin was about to protest against that, but realizes that he almost has no one to talk to now, with everything that’s been going on. He thought that having Jeno there, possibly for him, would be good and could help him. _

_ ————— _

_ Practices were the most difficult to deal with _ , Jaemin thinks. Pretending to not know each other for a few hours twice a week was hard.

What’s worse is the difficulty to enjoy acting, enjoy the thing he loved doing the most, seeing how this situation had taken a toll on his mental state and confidence.

He snaps out of his thoughts when Kun had announced that they were going to start practice already. 

“Let’s practice the ballroom scene— everyone please take your places!” He shouts through the old megaphone.

Jaemin, Lia, Chenle, and Yeri had taken their places at the center of the stage. Jaemin feels his clammy hands as he latches them with Lia’s (Nancy’s character). He whispers a quick apology to her co-actress, before wiping them down the front of his trousers.

“Chenle and Yeri, you already know where you’re supposed to go halfway into the scene right?” He asks both of them to which Chenle and Yeri nodded. Jaemin took a quick glance at the younger.

He notices that Chenle had been looking better and better these days, recalls the way Chenle had still looked broken and pale the first time they met accidentally ever since what had happened.

_ It seems like everyone’s doing better without me, happier without me. _

“Doyoung was supposed to sing this part but he has an errand today, hmmm” Kun says, contemplating on who should substitute the singing part for today.

“Dejun, can you do this part?” 

Jaemin’s thoughts have been interrupted as Kun called on Dejun to sing.  _ Oh God,  _ he thinks to himself, as Dejun agrees. Now, it’s even more unlikely for him to focus on the scene.

“Places everyone?” He hears Kun say. He huffs out a pitiful breath before facing Lia as Kun shouts ‘action!’

The emcee narration of the scene kicks in, telling everyone in the ball to dance with someone they didn’t come with for tonight’s dance. He sees Chenle and Yeri walking towards their way.

“May I have the pleasure?” Chenle speaks, though he had said it clearly, there was still a tone of something Jaemin couldn’t point out laced with it, as he almost glances at his direction.

Lia had taken the hand Chenle offered, agreed before coming with him as they shifted onto the dancing positions before they started dancing.

Jaemin feels a tap on his shoulder, remembering the lines he’s supposed to say. Luckily enough no one notices his slight error before he faces Yeri. 

“Shall we?” He says, offering his hands to the other, before they had shifted to their positions as well.

The music had kicked in and all of them, including the extra ballroom dancers, have started swaying and dancing to the calm beat of the music. 

He makes the mistake of recalling the events that had happened that day, remembering the look on Renjun’s face while they were floating and gracefully stepping across that tiny space.

//So Close //

Jaemin tries to not get distracted by the elder’s voice, focusing on moving and getting the right steps with Yeri. He almost trips over Yeri’s foot when he spots Dejun by the corner of his eyes, but manages to stay on balance.

Yeri looks at him, her eyes laced with worry but decided not to comment on it, and lets Jaemin glide them around the dance floor, pulling her into spins and twirls.

As Jaemin and Yeri were dancing across the set, on cue, Lia steps in beside them, feeling her tap his shoulder lightly. “Mind if I cut int” she says her line, to which Jaemin shakes his head no, letting Chenle fetch Yeri as they proceed to move out the set.

He shakes out of his thoughts when Dejun had started to sing Doyoung’s part.

//If I should lose you now, we’re so close to reaching that famous happy ending,

Almost believing this one’s not pretend//

Jaemin could feel himself choking up, hearing Dejun’s voice while he was dancing with Lia was making him feel dirty, disgusted at his own self, how could he have hurt this person?

As both Jaemin and Lia turn around, he sees Renjun and Chenle, talking beyond the curtains, beyond the set, acting silly.  _ They look happy _ , Jaemin thought, feeling the emotions creeping up to him.

//So close, so close, and still, so far//

_ And I couldn’t be happy with them. _

Lia calls his attention, tapping him as he dazes into nothingness. 

“Jaemin? Why are you crying?”

Only then he registers the tears that’s flowing down his face, dripping down from his chin, falling on the floor. He looks at Lia’s expression, she looks at him confused, worried, and with pity.

He senses that everyone has gotten quiet, doesn’t hear the floor creaking from movements. He quickly peers around his surroundings, seeing them mostly staring at him. He sees Dejun from the stage looking at him too, his eyes laced with  _ disdain?  _ Jaemin thought.

_ Not again. _

His throat tightens as he slowly tries to peak at the direction where both Renjun and Chenle were. He sees both of them looking back at him, both their expressions, laced with something he couldn’t tell, their mouths slightly parted.

He didn’t have the the chance to hear what they were about to say before he blurts out, “I’m sorry,” before running out, and away from them.

  
  
  


He found an empty room after running through the corridors and halls of the building, it wasn’t far from the auditorium, but he doubts they could find him here. 

It’s been almost half an hour after running away from practice. He tucks his head down, holding both of his folded legs to his chest, huffing, probably from the embarrassment.

Crying during rehearsals and walking out from practice isn’t really professional.

He snaps out of his thoughts when he registers the door creaking from being opened. He hides his face, not wanting the person see his state right now.

“Jaemin—” He hears the person say.

He couldn’t recognize the voice, his hearing muffled by his arms covering his ears. “Go away,” he says blankly, not in the mood to talk about his feelings.

“Jaemin,” the person persists, slowly nearing Jaemin, Jaemin’s back towards him, before he shakes his shoulders.

“I said go away!” He shouts, tired, lifts his head up. He was about to turn around to leer at the person when he saw the figure, his eyes widened.

“Kun hyung,” he gasps out, seeing the elder, not expecting Kun to find him first.

“Hey, it’s just me,” Kun says softly, almost endearing. Jaemin looks at the other’s eyes, they look sad, but didn’t look like he was disappointed at him. He could feel himself choking up, the emotions he tried to repress so hard, threatening to spill out.

Kun grabs Jaemin slowly, seeing the younger’s expression, almost devastated and lost, before he stretches his arms around him for a hug.

“You’re okay— I’m here,” he whispers to his ears, caressing the top of his head carefully. Jaemin feels the last thread keeping his calm demeanor break, could feel the built up emotions from the past weeks, finally flowing down the wall he put up.

Jaemin finally let’s everything go, starts sobbing on Kun’s shoulder, grabbing and hugging him tighter, trying to scrap any form of relief. Kun embraces him tighter, shushing him, trying to comfort him as he rubs his back tenderly.

  
  


After calming down, Jaemin wipes his face with his arms, trying to compose himself, before looking at Kun, slightly embarrassed for breaking down in front of him.

“I think you heard about what happened,” he says lowly, looking away from the elder. Kun just hums in agreement, sitting down in front of him, looking at Jaemin carefully.

“Aren’t you going to ask about it?” He grumbles.

Kun thinks for a moment, before grabbing Jaemin’s hand. “Do you want me to ask?”

Jaemin blinks at that, again— not expecting Kun to be this understanding toward him, especially if he was in the wrong. “I-I don’t know— things have been so out of control,” Jaemin confesses.

He could feel the elder squeezing his hand, urging him to continue. “And I just— I don’t know, I didn’t want any of this to happen,” he stutters out, could feel his throat tightening once again. 

“Shhh— breathe, okay?”

Jaemin calms himself down, gulps before continuing. “I just didn’t want anybody getting hurt— but I did.”

“Jaemin, we can’t expect everything to go our way,” Kun starts, caressing his palms affectionately. “The important thing right now is to do what you can— to make it right.” He explains.

“You need to do it for the people you’ve hurt and for yourself too,” Kun reminded him. 

“Okay?”

Jaemin nodded meekly in agreement, still doesn’t trust his voice— might break or stutter once again.

“So, what do you want to do?”

Jaemin stays silent for a moment, even though weeks had passed since the night of the fiasco, he still hadn’t thought about what he wanted to do, just thought about the things that he should do.

“I, i think I want to fix myself first,” he says to the elder, looking at his eyes. “I— I don;t think I could be my usual self until I patch up all these holes,” he continued as he brings their hands to his heart. “I need to fix this.”

Kun nods, understands him. “What are you thinking of doing?”

Jaemin hesitates for a moment before he gathers the leftover might of his voice, “I think I;m going to have to sit out,” he starts, his throat tightening at his idea.

“Sit out of the production,” he manages to say.

“You’re thinking of tapping out?” The elder asks, slightly shocked from what Jaemin had said.

“I— yes. I just, don;t want my issues affecting the whole production,” he says truthfully, still guilty for what had happened earlier, walking out from set and interfering rehearsals.

“I— I can’t be a burden to everyone, they’ve worked so hard and—”

“Listen to me,” Kun interrupts him, making the younger face him. “You’re not a burden okay? No one’s going to think that,” Kun explains, his voice careful and caring.

Jaemin had wanted to believe the elder’s words, but he still doubts himself. “But I do, and I don’t want this feeling of doubt at the back of my head, constantly yelling that I’m bringing down the team.”

Kun looks at the younger, his expression laced with worry and pity at the younger’s confession. 

“Oh Jaemin.”

Both of them stay silent for a moment, Jaemin almost regretting having it brought up— didn’t want to burden Kun with his decisions and personal issues. Jaemin snaps out his thoughts when Kun huffs out a breath of air.

“If you want to tap out, it’s fine— you need to think about yourself first,” he says to him, smiling once again. 

“Thank you hyung.”

“But remember, even if you think bad of yourself, the people here— we don’t think that about you, okay?”

Jaemin nodded at the elder’s words, even though he still has doubts.

“So— do you need someone to take you home?” Kun asks him gently, looking at him.

“It’s fine, uh, I think I can handle—”

“Jeno, I know you’re there— come in.”

Jaemin immediately peers over the door, noticing how it was ajar before it opens and comes in Jeno, looking embarrassed and sorry,  _ probably for eavesdropping. _

“Hey— I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, everyone was looking for you, and I just heard you and Kun hyung’s voice while searching,” he says, almost whispers as he looks down.

“It’s no big deal,” Jaemin mutters out.

“Ah! Jeno?” Kun calls for him. He looks at Jeno for a moment before shifting his gaze to Jaemin, “Jeno, can you please take Jaemin home?”

Jeno seems shocked at the sudden request, but does his best not to show it. “Oh It’s fine for me,” he says before looking at Jaemin. “Is it okay if I take you home?”

Jaemin seems surprised at Jeno’s willingness, he faces Kun, seeing him encouraging him to go with Jeno, before he finally agrees.

“Great! Jaemin, take plenty of rest okay?” Kun says.

“Okay, thanks hyung,” he said, before both he and Jeno wave goodbye.

  
  
  


Walking with Jeno was quite awkward. He doesn’t even have anything against Jeno, heck Jeno even talked to him when he hesitated to talk to others. But still, he couldn’t remove the fact that he and Renjun fake dated in his thoughts.

Obviously, he has a ton of questions to ask, but he’s not sure whether he’s free to ask the other. He briefly looks at Jeno, before deciding to fuck it and ask.

“So did you hear—”

“Are you gonna—”

Both of them started at the same time, Jeno must have sensed the atmosphere around them. Jeno chuckles at that, gesturing him to go first. 

“Earlier, did you hear everything?” Jaemin asks him sheepishly, not wanting to look at Jeno in the case that he did. Jeno promptly shakes his head no.

“Not really, just the part where you said you wanted out— of the production I mean.” Jeno explains.

_ Oh. _

“Are you really going to?” Jaemin hears the other, “huh— am I what?” He asks.

“Dropping out of the musical?” Jeno asks carefully, doesn’t want to upset the younger further, to which Jaemin just nodded, huffs.

“Yeah, pathetic huh?”

“No, not really— I find it brave, admitting you need time,” Jeno says coolly, trying to lighten the burden Jaemin’s carrying. “Thanks.”

There was a brief moment of silence between them as they walked towards Jaemin’s apartment before Jeno spoke up again. I bet you have a lot of questions?“ he says, chuckling as Jaemin meekly nods.

“You can ask me,” he said, earning a glance from Jaemin. “We’re friends right?” Jeno continued, trying to encourage him to ask.

“Are we really?” Jaemin said, immediately regretting it when he sees Jeno’s expression falter for a moment. “I just don’t know what to believe at this point,” he reasoned out.

“I understand if you can’t trust me right now,” he says softly, looking Jaemin in the eyes, “But, you are going to have to ask questions anyway,” he says, softly smiling at him.

“I’m just really mad right now— mostly at myself,” he confesses, lowering his head. “I’m mad at how I hurt the people around me because of petty secrets.”

“I’m really sorry Jaemin, I— we didn’t mean for it to escalate this big,” Jeno says, his voice laced with guilt as well.

“It’s not your fault,” Jaemin responds. “It is— It was my idea to pretend, so Renjun could get you back,” Jeno confesses.

For the second time of the day, Jaemi gets surprised by his words, “You— But why?” He stutters out, now looking at Jeno’s direction.

“It’s because I like him, too much in fact,” he chuckles sadly.

“W—what? Then why did you?” Jaemin asked, confused at what he was hearing. 

“I told him I liked him, hoping he would feel the same way,” he starts, slowly peering his eyes above them, to the stars and sky covering the night. “But, he was doubting his feelings— said that he didn’t want to hurt me because of it.” He explained.

Jaemin looks at the other incredulously, couldn’t believe that all this time, Renjun was trying to move on just like he was, but was confused with their feelings.

“And he came back here to see me— so that he’d figure out what he felt?” Jaemin whispers, finally piecing down the clues. 

Jeno nods at him before sighing, “Yeah— turns out, he still hasn’t moved on, at all” he mumbles out. Jaemin could feel a little disappointment form Jeno’s words, but decided not to comment on it.

“The night you met again— he said that he still felt the same,” Jeno continues.

“If you liked him too, why did you—”

“It’s because we were friends first— I wanted to help him, ”Jeno interrupts as he reasons out his decisions.

“It was kind of a good thing we shared classes together,” Jeno snickers. “And when our clubs met for the production— I thought, this was the best time, and then I introduced Renjun as my boyfriend.”

Jaemin stops him, places a hand on his shoulder. “Wait— did you two talk about this, pretending?” Jeno shakes his head no, looking at Jaemin, his eyes sorry. 

“We only talked about it after that— At first, he was hesitant but I convinced him enough to agree.”

_ Oh. _

“I only realized it was the a bad idea when I found out about you and—”

“Dejun hyung,” Jaemin completes.

“Yeah,” Jeno huffs out, both of them continue to walk silently.

  
  


“Well, this is it,”Jaemin says as they reached their apartment.

“Yeah,”

A silent moment washes over them, both boys not knowing what to say anymore, until Jeno interrupts the silence.

“Ummm, listen— me and Renjun, especially him, we didn’t want to ruin your relationship with Dejun hyung,” he starts, visibly swallowing, trying to find the right words.

“And I’m really sorry if it came across to you that way— that we played with your feelings,” he finishes sheepishly, his expression guilty.

Jaemin could only nod at Jeno’s words, didn’t really know what to say at this point. 

“Just— I know that the past few weeks have been overwhelming, both of you are hurting right now,” Jeno says, darting out his tongue to wet his lips before continuing.

“And it’s not my place nore right to tell you what to do but— if you can talk to him, that’d be great.”

“Oh, okay,” Jaemin responds briefly. He looks at the other for a second before thanking him, “Thanks for walking me home.” He smiles at him.

“No problem,” Jeno responds, smiling as well, before bidding his hands goodbye.

—————

It started raining heavily as Jaemin plops down on his bed. For a whole week, Jaemin has been thinking of Jeno’s advice to him. The rain doesn’t help Jaemin in any way, to decide what he needs to do first, to fix things. 

_ Should I talk to Renjun? _

Everyday since that evening they talked, Jaemin has been planning to talk to renjun during lunch hours, but always decided against it every time at the last minute. 

He doesn’t have the guts, every time he grabs his phone to make a call or a text message, he remembers what had happened during the rehearsals— typing up a message for renjun but ultimately failing to press send.

For the entirety of the day, he’s been on his bed all day, staring at his phone, almost imagining Renjun to magically call him because he doesn’t have the confidence to do so.

He snaps out of his thoughts when he hears someone knocking at their door. Jaemin could feel his heart beat faster, suddenly anxious of who might that be. 

_ Is that Chenle?  _ He asks himself before deciding against it, if it were Chenle, he would have opened the door, he had a key to their apartment after all.

He immediately gets up to the door as the knocking persists. He stares at the door handle before slowly reaching for it, and finally opens the door.

As he opens the door, his eyes widen, not expecting Renjun to be at his front door. “Renjun?” He says, slowly taking in the appearance of the other, sees his clothes drenched from the rain, his body visibly shaking.

“Can I come in? Renjun says through his clattering teeth, shivering from the cold.”

Jaemin immediately ushers the elder inside their apartment. “What are you doing here?” He says, as he struggles to find a dry towel for the smaller. “Wait there by the couch, I’ll get you a towel,” he says, quickly entering their bathroom.

Jaemin luckily sees an unused one by their bathroom cabinet, rushing to hand it to Renjun. 

“Thanks.”

Jaemin inspects the other, seeing him quickly patting himself dry before he opens his mouth. “Why are you out there in the rain?”

“I needed to talk to you— but the rain started pouring down,” he says, clutching at the towel around his shoulder tight.

_ Oh. _

Jaemin snaps out of his thoughts when Renjun asks him a question, “Huh?”

“Did you really quit?” He asks him, voice small from the cold.

Jaemin nods at that,“Yeah, Jeno told you?” He said to which the elder nods. “Yeah, the night he walked you home.”

Jaemin had wanted to ask why Renjun just came now, but stopped himself from doing so.

“I wanted to talk to you after I knew, but I thought it was a bit rash— seeing that you quit to have space,” he says, answering Jaemin’s question.

“Did you come here to ask that question?” Jaemin mutters out, sitting down next to Renjun on the couch.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Renjun finally looks at him, his expression almost sad. “Because you loved theatre Jaemin— I didn’t expect you to give it up,” he reasons out, voice a bit rough from the cold air.

Jaemin almost scoffs at that, “I guess it’s all I’m ever good at,” he says sadly.

“Jamein-ah.”

“It’s true— I gave up on us last time, just because I was overwhelmed,” he says, recalling their past together. Renjun places his hand on Jaemin’s before retracting it quickly after. 

“I—It wasn’t your fault we broke up, it was mine,” Renjun reasons out, trying to shift the blame on himself.

At that, Jaemin scoffs, his face almost blank. “What about the time before that? And the time before that too? We were always fighting because of me,” he says, throat slightly constricting at the memories.

“Who could we blame Jaemin? Both of us were hurting all the same,” he says, voice trembling. “Yet we can’t manage to learn from our mistakes huh?” Jaemin responds, chuckling sadly at how things have turned out.

“After all that happened, we’re still here— always winding up in the same spot,” Renjun says, his voice laced with sadness as well.

“Yeah.”

Jaemin agrees with what Renjun said, agrees with how time only passes by but neither of them still changed as he lowers his head, sighing.

“Jaemin, I didn;t want to ask Jeno what both you talked about that day but— I’m really sorry that everything turned out this badly,” the elder apologizes.

Jaemin lifts up his gaze to look at Renjun, seeing his eyes— guilty. Jaemin nods at him before speaking as well, “I just— I’m just really affected by all that has happened,” he explains.

“The made up stories, the lies, and the secrets kept from me,” he continues, voice trembling from the emotions building up.

Renjun finally grabs his hand before he looks at him directly, his eyes downcast. “I’m sorry for lying to you. And I’m sorry that I ruined your chances of moving on— just because I haven’t.”

Jaemin nods at his words, before recalling what he and Jeno had talked about that night. “I already asked Jeno— but I wanna hear it from you, why did you come back?”

Renjun visibly stiffens at the question but manages to hide it well, before he clears his voice. “I wanted to know if after all these years, I would have moved on from you.”

“The night we saw you again,” he recalls for both of them. “I met up with Chenle first.”

Jaemin tries to conceal his surprise but fails to do so, “You guys talked?”

“Yeah, he asked me why I came back and told me to ‘fuck off’ nicely.”

“Wow,” Jamein huffs out, slightly laughing at Chenle’s choice of words. “Yeah, I just wanted to see you once for me to know what I feel. I never wanted to bother you after.”

“But the play, then the fake dating happened?” Jaemin completed, to which Renjun nodded yes before sighing as well.

They both stay silent for a while before Jaemin starts. “You know, I can;t help but wonder what wou;d have happened— if we were only honest with each other,” Jaemin says as he tries to imagine that scenario, the possibility of him and Renjun being happy together.

“Me too.” Renjun admits, “I’m really sorry if you think I mad elight of your feelings and played with it.” He continues curtly.

“If I could take everything back, I would.”

Jaemin shakes his head, “We can’t undo the things we’ve done wrong, especially all the hurting.”

“I know.”

“But we can all change starting now— by being honest,” he says, to which Renjun agreed.

Jaemin turns his body to face Renjun, his legs pulled up to his chest, trying to be comfortable on the couch. “I want us to ask each other a question— truthfully, no more lies, no more secrets,” he says, pulling Renjun to do the same.

A few seconds go by before Renjun nods. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“Let’s ask at the same time?” He asks to which Renjun hummed in agreement.

“One.” Jaemin starts, looking at Renjun intently.

“Two.” Renjun follows, staring back at Jaemin as well.

“Three.”

“Do you still love me?”

“Do you still love me?”

Both of them asked, their faces red at the way they asked the same question. Jaemin starts the countdown once again for their answers this time.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

“Yes.”

“I do.”

He sees Renjun’s eyes well up with tears before he leaps to grab Jaemin into a hug, to which Jaemin responds, hugging the elder tightly, almost doesn’t want to let go.

Jaemin asked Renjun to stay the night since the rain wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. He offered the smaller a change of clothes, grabbing the old ones he had, hoping that they fit Renjun.

It was a bit awkward for Jaemin to gesture Renjun toward his bed, for them to sleep on, since neither of them had talked about what they wanted to happen between them from now on, both of them terrified.

—————

Jaemin woke up to see Renjun’s face in front of him, sleeping soundly. Jaemin registers the current position they are at, his arms over and around Renjun’s torso, their legs all tangled, before he blushes.

_ He’s beautiful, always has been beautiful,  _ Jaemin whispers to himself before caressing the other’s hair, moving the soft strands that fell over his eyes.

Renjun stirs awake after a couple of minutes of Jaemin gently playing with his hair.

“Hey.”

”Hi.”

After stretching out and moving out of the bed, they had decided to eat breakfast, while Renjun told him all kinds of stories of what had happened back in Shanghai.

Talking and being with Renjun was fun, comforting even, and Jaemin didn’t want this moment to ever end, didn’t want to ruin this precious moment. But at some point, everyone’s going to have to face reality.

He snaps out of his thoughts when Renjun asks him a question, playing with his spoon. 

“Jaemin, what are we?”

And there it is. Jaemin has been dreading the question ever since last night before they slept.

He looks over at Renjun before muttering out an ‘I don’t know.’

Renjun bites at his lips before deciding to ask again, “What do you want us to be?”

Jaemin clears his throat before taking a good look at the elder, dressed in his clothes. “To be honest, I’m still scared you know?” He confesses.

“We both know how we feel for each other but—”

“But we’re still hurt,” Renjun says from across the table. “And we don’t want the past from happening again?”

Jaemin nods at him as he sighs. “I’m just not ready.”

“I understand.”

There was a brief moment of silence before Renjun spoke once more. 

“So— friends?”

Jaemin feels his throat constrict, looked at the elder one more time.

“Friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGHHH FRIENDS????? That was stupid LMAO HAHAHAH
> 
> hope you guys are still reading ehe :] Comments are very appreciated :>>>


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s already the last chapter guyssss :<<<<<
> 
> I want to thank you for going on an adventure with me with the story, I sincerely hope you like this.
> 
> Enjoy reading!!!!

It’s been exactly a month since Renjun and Jaemin talked that night, exactly a month since Renjun and Jaemin decided to just stay friends,  _ regrettably so. _

Even if both of them had agreed to just be friends, they couldn’t help but still feel tenses a few times, when the three of them are hanging out.

  
  


_ You see, after Renjun and Jaemin talked that day, Jeno dragged Jaemin to join them for lunch, saying it’s going to be fine. In Jaemin’s mind, he wasn’t quite ready to face Chenle, seeing that they still didn’t talk properly. _

_ Arriving at the cafeteria, he was pleasantly surprised to see Renjun sitting alone at one of the tables.relief floods his body at the thought of not being forced to confront Chenle. _

_ Although he felt relieved, there was still a pang in his chest, as if he was trying to avoid his best friend intentionally— he still felt guilty at the pointed words he had said to the other. _

_ Donghyuck and Mark weren’t there as well, to which Jeno explained that they did invite Mark and Donghyuck as well, but the duo decided not to, didn’t want to make the two youngest feel alienated by the group. _

  
  


Jaemin snaps out his thoughts when Renjun calls him. The two of them were making props for the production. 

Jaemin felt guilty for dropping out, so had contacted Kun, asking if there was any way he could help. At first, Kun had told him that there was no need to feel guilty, as long as he’s taking care of himself, but Jaemin insisted.

“Jaemin, does this look alright?” Renjun asked him, holding out a bouquet of fake flowers he made. Jaemin looks at the flowers he’s holding before picking at one.

“They look pitiful,” he teases, earning a light shove at his shoulders. “Not funny,” Renjun huffs, almost childishly, to which Jaemin laughs.

“Wait here,” Jaemin says, quickly shuffling on his feet as he steps away. Renjun looks at him putty, confused as to where Jaemin was going.

He sees Jaemin come back, with his hands behind his back. “What is it?” Renjun asks, curious.

“Here.”

Renjun sees the flower on Jaemin’s hands,  _ a real one.  _ “You could use this as a reference,” Jaemin said, handing him the flower, careful so that the petals don’t fall.

“Thanks.” Renjun mumbles, grateful at the gesture, before starting to work at the flowers again.

  
  


It’s been almost an hour since Renjun started fixing the flowers needed for the scene. Jaemin was on his side, working on the signs for the ‘That’s How You Know,’ scene.

It was silent between them, but it was calming, both of them were laying on their fronts on the floor. He looks over by his side, peering over at Renjun working, the elder’s eyes focused, looking hard at the flower in front of him.

He looks at peace, the way he silently picks up his tools before proceeding to put the petals of the flower together. 

Jaemin shifts his gaze to the flower in front of them before carefully picking it up. Renjun turns his head toward the taller beside him, looking at him, a little bit confused.

Jaemin sits up from the floor, inching towards the elder. “Let me try something,” he says, looking at Renjun for approval. Renjun nodded, shifting to sit as well.

Jaemin slowly reaches for Renjun’s hair, carefully parting his soft locks to the side. He then places the flower behind the elder’s ear, tucking both the flower and his hair.

“There.”

He takes a quick look at what he did, quickly taking in Renjun’s appearance, before he smiled at him.

Renjun smiles back, giggling a little in between. “How do I look?” Renjun asked, making silly poses in front of the taller, to which Jaemin snickers at.

He takes a good look at the smaller, noticing the little details— the way the elder’s untucked strands fall carefully over his crinkled eyes, the way his cheeks are slightly tinted with pink.

“You look beautiful,” he whispers.

Jaemin sees Renjun visibly stills, his face almost shocked at what he said, but he doesn’t look mad. If anything, he could see the other’s face get redder.

He sees Renjun shift his gaze lower then back at his eyes again. Jaemin gulps at that, blinking his eyes, feeling his heart beat getting faster.

He doesn’t know who moved first, doesn’t know how it happened, only registers the elder’s lips touching against him.

Jaemin stiffens in his place, feeling Renjun’s lips touch against his. He doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know if he wanted to deepen their kiss or break it.

He snaps out of his doubts when he feels Renjun’s lips start moving against his, slowly trying to deepen their kiss, but Jaemin didn’t respond back, only looking at the elder's closed eyes.

Renjun was persistent, almost desperate as he grabbed his shoulders pleadingly. Jaemin wanted to kiss back so badly, he felt his heart break for the both of them.

He pulled back immediately as he felt Renjun’s tongue touch his lips. “Renjun,” he says, voice laced with sadness. He sees the other’s eyes, glossy and almost red.

“We shouldn’t,” Jaemin continues, moving back slightly from Renjun, slowly looking down away from him. He hears Renjun’s breath hitch.

Renjun hums at him, “You’re right,” he says before sitting back down.

Silence washes over them, and Jaemin can’t handle the tense atmosphere before he’s on his feet, whispering “I‘m gonna go to the bathroom,” rushing out of the room.

Jaemin enters the bathroom, sees it empty before he positions in front of the sink. He quickly opens the water to lightly cool his face, overwhelmed at what just happened.

He sees his reflection staring back at him in the mirror. Confusion is what he sees in front of him, he’s confused between what he needs to do and what he wants to do.

But most of all, he looks scared. Scared that if he chose to do what he wanted, everything might go south, might be ruined— again, just like the past times.

His head starts to feel light and dizzy at the thought, before splashing water at his face once more, trying to wash away his thoughts.

He heard the door open, a person came in before he quickly turned around, seeing Chenle right across the bathroom. He could see the younger tense as he saw him, but he pretended as if he didn’t.

Jaemin looked at the mirror once Chenle made his way to the sink next to him. They take quick glances at each other, but neither of them had the courage to talk to the other.

It was quiet, the only sound Jaemin was hearing was the pouring and sloshing of water. He could feel the thick tension between the two of them.

Jaemin was hesitating whether or not he should finally talk to the younger after all these months. He recovers from his thoughts when he hears Chenle.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

He turns to face the younger and finally gets a better look at him. He looks better, leaps and beyond from ‘that’ night.

“So umm, you backed out from the production?” The younger asks him, still looking at the mirror in front of him. Jaemin hums, not trusting his voice to not tremble.

Chenle nods at him, before he continued to wash his hands, more slowly this time, as if it seemed like he was waiting for more, for another answer— or a question.

“How are you?” Jaemin asks softly, voice small as he sees the way Chenle stills before finally looking back at him.

“I’m okay hyung.”

_ Hyung,  _ Jaemin could feel his heart sink at the word, having not heard the word from Chenle for months long. He blinks at that, bituing his lip before muttering out a ‘great.’

“It is, Jisung’s been taking care of me.” 

Jaemin’s throat tightens, and he can feel the guilt creeping up his body. 

“That’s good— I’m glad you have somebody who would treat you well,” he says, voice cracking. He immediately looks away from the younger the moment his voice broke, too embarrassed for the younger to see him.

“Hyung,” the younger says. He could feel the other’s hand floating on top of his shoulder, could feel the way Chenle was hesitating if he should show him comfort.

He felt sad, sad that his life long best friend was deciding if he could lay a hand on his shoulder, like he hasn’t done this before, like he wasn't familiar with him.

Honestly, he doesn’t blame the younger for deciding against comforting him. From all the hurtful things he said, he deserved to be ignored.

But when he felt the hand hovering over him drop to his shoulder, and squeezes him, when he could feel the gentle warmth emanating from Chenle’s hand to his back— he finally breaks down.

“I’m sorry,” he said as he quickly turned around to the younger, grabbing him into a tight hug as he sobs.

Chenle hugged him tighter, tucking his head softly next to Jaemin, caressing his back as the older was repeatedly saying ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again.

“I know,” he whispers next to him, letting the elder sob into his shoulders as he could feel the familiar prick of tears in his eyes as well.

Jaemin backs away from the other slightly, wiping his face with his forearms.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry if I said that you used me when we kissed.” He says. “I’m sorry that I used your feelings to hurt you— I’m sorry that you had to have feelings for a jerk like me.”

“Hyung— listen to me,” Chenle said, grabbing his shoulders, making him look at his eyes. Jaemin hesitantly looked at the younger, still didn’t think he deserved his understanding.

“I’m okay,” the younger continues softly. “I look okay right now, don’t I?” He says, sniffing.

Chenle does the thing with Jaemin’s hands, rubbing his palms gently in between, to try and calm him down. “But I hurt you,” Jaemin replied back, his voice heavy.

The younger just hummed at him, before looking at him softly. “I know, and those words did hurt me.” He confesses, glancing at their hands squeezed together before looking at him back.

“But seeing you hurt, because of all the lies and secrets— that broke me,” the younger says, his voice shaking. “It broke me, knowing that I kept it from you, when all you did was stay true to me.”

Jaemin shakes his head no, “Chenle no, I wasn’t the friend I thought I was— I was always sharing my worries with you, not knowing you had your own.”

“I was too confident that you’d speak up to me about your problems— when I haven’t approachable,” he said, seeing the tears flow down the younger’s face.

“I shouldn’t have said those words back then— I should have asked you if that kiss meant something after we did that night” Jaemin recalls. 

  
  


_ “Hyung,” Chenle called him, as they were walking back to Jaemin’s home. Jaemin’s parents had prepared dinner and wanted to invite Chenle and his family, just a small celebration for graduating. _

_ Chenle’s parents had declined respectfully, seeing as to how they left for an overseas meeting after their graduation had ended.  _

_ Honestly, it didn’t bother Chenle anymore, already used to the fact that his parents are both busy persons, already used to the fact that most of the time, Jaemin’s family was taking care of him. _

_ “Hmm?” Jaemin hums, looking at the younger as they approached the gate of their house. He sees Chenle biting at his lips, clearly hesitating at what he was about to say. _

_ “Do you remember that stupid promise we made? Back when we were about to enter highschool?” Chenle asked him. _

_ Jaemin stops for a while, thinking about the tons of silly things they both had promised to do. He thinks back to the day before high school starts, the time they were lying down on Chenle’s bed. _

_ “Aha! You mean that thing we need to do before graduating?” Jaemin asked, his voice almost mocking at the memory, earning a quick harmless shove at his shoulder. _

_ “Yeah, it was stupid— promising that by the end of high school we needed to have had our first kisses already,” he mumbles.  _

_ But Jaemin could see through him, even if the younger said that the promise was stupid, it was definitely important for him, seeing that he remembers the four year old promise. _

_ “So, did you kiss someone?” Jaemin asked him carefully.  _

_ “No.” The younger mutters quickly. _

_ “Why not?” Jaemin persisted. “Are the boys in high school not handsome enough for you?” He teased him, to which Chenle chuckles. _

_ “If it were only that easy,” he sighs, looking down at his feet. “I don’t want my first kiss to be with someone with just a pretty face,” he explains. _

_ “I want my first kiss to have value, seeing as to how I’ll carry this memory forever.” _

_ Jaemin hums in agreement, could understand the younger’s point. “Okay, that does make sense.” _

_ Chenle just sighs out loud. Jaemin could sense that the other was feeling down. He scrambles for his words, to try to lighten up Chenle’s mood. _

_ “You know, I have this great idea,” Jaemin starts, to which Chenle hummed in return, looking back at him. “Why don’t I be your first kiss?” _

_ Chenle immediately freezes at Jaemin’s words, looking like he has been doused in ice cold water. Chenle couldn’t believe what he’s hearing, his mind suddenly decided to stop working.  _

_ Jaemin immediately regrets his words, seeing as to how Chenle’s body stiffened after saying it. Jaemin pierces through the silence, looking at the younger, “Hey, I was just joking—” _

_ He stops when Chenle looks at him right in his eyes, grabbing both of his hands.  _

_ He was about to ask what the younger was doing when Chenle leaned in and touched his lips with his. Jaemin didn’t move forward nor backward, just stayed still as their lips were pressed together. _

_ A few seconds in and Chenle breaks the kiss, his eyes widen. “Hey, are you okay?” Jaemin asked in worry, didn’t want Chenle to be offended by not responding to his kiss. _

_ Chenla snaps out after a few seconds, nodding at the elder. “I’m sorry if I shocked you,” he says a few moments after. _

_ “It’s okay,” Jaemin mutters out. A moment of silence passes over them. It wasn’t exactly awkward for Jaemin, but it was definitely unexpected. _

_ The two of them didn’t talk about the kiss anymore, before deciding to enter Jaemin’s house for dinner. _

  
  


“You know that promise we made— I made that promise with you in mind,” Chenle confesses as he looks down. “I thought by the end of high school, you’ll be my first kiss and I’ll be yours.”

Jaemin swallows before speaking, “But Renjun happened?” He completes.

Chenle nods at him, “But when you suggested that you could be my first kiss, my mind stopped— overwhelmed actually, that I was about to kiss my first love.”

Jaemin blinks at him, not knowing what to say, before Chenle continues. “I thought about it for a while before kissing you— that this kiss might make or break our current relationship then, and if I wanted to risk that.”

“But when I kissed you— I knew at that moment, that you wouldn’t love me back,” he huffs out.

“Chenle-yah,” Jaemin tries, but Chenle just shakes his head. “It’s not your fault hyung,” he says, smiling at him.

“You would think that people would be thrilled kissing their first crush— but at that moment, there wasn’t anything big that I felt, no sparks that flowed through my body,” he says chuckling.

“I realized after that, the feelings I have harbored since then, weren’t what I expected them to be— I just needed time, and I would have eventually moved on, without you knowing.”

Chenle grabs his hand before looking at him one more time. “And I did, and I was glad you didn’t push me away after that night— I was thankful because I got to carry that memory with me.”

“That I shared my first kiss with someone who had value to me, who was important in my life,” he says, looking at him endearly.

Jaemin squeezes their hands together, nodding at him, before smiling back. Jaemin stretched his hands over the younger’s back, pulling him into a hug.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too hyung.”

—————

It took some time getting used to it, but finally, after a few weeks of sharing awkward glances at each other, their friend group finally had lunch together again, like good times.

On most days, Donghyuck and Mark are bickering with each other, mostly instigated by the younger to piss his older boyfriend off. But today, the two of them were lightly singing to a song Jaemin didn’t know the words to— Donghyuck was mostly singing while Mark just echoed some of the echoes of the song.

He looks over to the two youngest, Chenle playing with his utensils, mimicking a drum set, playing mismatching beats to the song, while Jisung was bobbing his head to the beat, slightly moving his hands along with the song.

Jaemin smiles at them endearly, he’s very grateful to Jisung, for taking care of his best friend during the times he couldn’t.

He then sees Jeno and Renjun singing along, to which Donghyuck occasionally throws snide remarks at Renjun’s singing, to which Renjun playfully snaps back, reminding them who had the highest score for their recent tests.

Jaemin chuckles at that, the both of them hadn’t changed that much since high school— still fighting over to see who had the highest grades.

He sees Renjun look at him back, before smiling at him. Jaemin smiled back even though he could feel his stomach turn slightly. 

It has been a few months since they kissed at the props room, and neither of them had talked about the kiss. Jaemin was waiting for Renjun to say something, but when Renjun purposely tried to avoid the topic, Jaemin had stopped bringing it up.

_ Was he scared to talk about it?  _ Jaemin had thought to himself. They both knew even before that kiss that they still harbored feelings for each other, that those feelings were very much present.

But Jaemin couldn’t help but feel guilty whenever he thinks about getting together with Renjun. Because the thought that he gets to be happy, when he has hurt someone in the process, makes him sick and disgusted at himself.

Dejun and him haven’t even talked properly ever since that day. Jaemin couldn’t even look at the elder’s direction during practices, he couldn’t dare to.

It’s most tense whenever the two are in close perimeters within each other being that Dejun is professional at everything,  _ or tries to be.  _ Jaemin thought, whenever they had to force into talking to each other, them being student council members.

Jaemin had always tried to talk to the elder but ended up hesitating right before every moment, thinking that he had no right to talk to him, the wounds are still fresh.

Jamin’s not trying to avoid him on purpose, just that he’s trying to be too careful whenever he’s almost around the elder. Thankfully enough he could talk to Kunhang regarding this matter, and would always ask him questions about the elder.

Kunhang tries to be as helpful as he can be, encouraging the other to speak to Dejun, saying that he’ll be there to help, even going as far as setting them up to meet— to which Jaemin declined, didn’t want Dejun to feel as if they were forcing him.

He snaps out of his thoughts when he sees a familiar figure looming across the cafeteria.  _ Dejun hyung? _ He thought, trying to look harder to confirm.

He sees the elder turn around, seeing him as well. He half expected the elder to quickly turn away and ignore him but to his surprise the elder stayed still, before he nodded at him.

Jaemin gulps,  _ Is he asking me to come and talk?  _ He thought to himself. He starts hesitating whether or not he should follow the elder when he sees him move out from the cafeteria.

He feels a small push behind him, he looks over and sees Chenle beside him, smiling at him. “Go hyung,” he whispers, encouraging him.

Jaemin nods, saying goodbye to everyone at the table, before quickly jogging to catch up to the elder.

He quickly peers around him as he exits the cafeteria, trying to see whether Dejun had gone ahead or waited for him.

Thankfully he spots the elder by the waiting spot near a tree, looking at him. He swallowed before he slowly walked closer to the elder.

He quietly sat at the bench next to him,  _ well not exactly next since there was quite a gap between them.  _ They sat in silence for a moment.

He sees Dejun look up to the skies, almost smiling. “Do you remember this place?” He asked, his gaze still upwards. 

“Hmm?” Jaemin mutters out, quite confused where Dejun was coming from. He quickly peers around their surroundings, trying to find clues as to what Dejun meant.

Jaemin shakes his head no, failed to realize what Dejun was talking about. Dejun just chuckles at him, before bringing his gaze down, looking at Jaemin.

“This is where we first met last year, the day of the orientation,” he remembers softly. Jaemin looks around the area once again,  _ the bench by the trees. _

“The registration booth,” Jaemin whispered to him.

Dejun hummed, nodding at him. “You looked so clueless that day,” he chuckles at the memory. “You looked lost, stuttering while you asked for directions.”

Jaemin could feel his face heat up at the memory, embarrassment slowly creeping up his spine. 

“You know,” Dejun starts, looking at him intently. “Looking back at it now— I didn’t expect whatever it is that happened between us would happen,” he continued, earning Jaemin’s attention.

“I knew I wanted to be your friend there and then— I just didn’t know that it would end up this way,” he confessed to him. Jaemin could feel his heart getting heavy at the elder’s words.

“Hyung,” Jaemin finally manages to say to him. Jaemin was about to say sorry once again when Dejun interrupted him. “I know, but hearing you say sorry more than once isn’t going to help me— in fact, it’s just going to make me more miserable.”

Jaemin immediately closes his mouth, nodding his head sadly at the older. What was he expecting anyway, that he’d be forgiven that easily after what happened?

“I know you’ve been talking to Kunhang, asking how I was, every now and then, asking if I was okay,” he says quietly. 

“I’m not okay, I didn’t want to be ‘not okay,’— if anything, I wished that every time you said sorry helped me move on, help me feel better,” he confesses, his voice breaking.

“But I’m not better, I don’t know when I’m going to be better.”

Jaemin could feel his throat tighten at his hyung’s words, his heart sink at what he has done to the elder. He could see the tears pricking the elder’s eyes, seeing his hyung scramble as he wipes it off immediately, blinking the tears away. 

“This isn’t why I wanted to talk to you,” Dejun says, his voice airy. “I wanted to ask you a question— two actually,” Dejun continued.

“Okay,”Jaemin meekly said, before the elder spoke up again. “I heard about what happened after I left that night— that Renjun and Jeno weren’t dating each other?” He say, his voice still shaking a little.

Jaemin nodded.

“So, are you and Renjun dating?” He asked right away, no tone of hesitation in his voice.

Jaemin looks at his hyung, quite shocked at his question. “No— we aren’t dating,” he stutters eventually.

“Why? Don’t you like each other?”

Jaemin couldn’t tell if Dejun wanted to know the real reason, or if he was almost mocking him by the tone of his voice, but regardless, he shook his head.

“Me and Renjun talked after I had quit the production— we said that we still liked each other, but we decided to stay friends after that.”

Jaemin didn’t know why he was telling this to Dejun, didn’t know why the elder wanted to know these things.

“That’s stupid,” the elder scoffs. “If you still have feelings for each other— why hold back?”

“It’s because I’m scared— scared that me and him will just repeat what happened before, scared that I’ll eventually break him again, for good.”

Dejun stays quiet for a moment, digesting Jaemin’s words before replying.

“Then why did you kiss for a second time?”

“What?” Jaemin asked him, shock evident in his voice.

“I saw you two, at the props room, it looks like he still wanted you back the way he leaned in first.” Dejun confesses.

Jaemin is in disbelief, incredulous at the fact that Dejun caught them kissing twice. He scrambles for a reply but fails to, resigning himself in silence.

“Are you sure, being scared of the future is the only thing holding you back?” Dejun said to him, his voice questioning, almost poking.

Jaemin visibly stiffens at the thought, the thought that he was guilty because he had hurt the elder, that he was guilty that he was allowed happiness when he ruined someone else’s.

Jaemin recovers from his thoughts before slightly shaking his head. Dejun seemed to see him move his head, before speaking out.

“Or is it because of guilt— you feel guilty for the fact that you get to have a great relationship, while I, no one?” He says, voice calm but firm.

Jaemin nods his head sheepishly at that as he looks away from the elder. “Because you think that I’d curse you for being happy with Renjun together?”

Jaemin could feel an icy breeze, flow up his spine at the elder’s words. He stays frozen, unable to acknowledge or go against his hyung’s statement.

Dejun scoffs at Jaemin’s unresponsiveness, already knowing his answer. “Did you even know me?” He questions accusingly. “Did you think for a second— that I would shame someone who can genuinely be happy?”

“No— I never thought of you like that,” Jaemin immediately says back, looking at the elder’s eyes, hard and contorted. “It’s just me, I— I feel guilty because I could have, should have handled things differently.”

“I know you could have, but there’s no going back— it already happened,” Dejun says hardly. “And about feeling guilty— use that feeling as a reminder for yourself.”

“A reminder to hurt anyone again, a reminder that you will carry forever— so that you wouldn’t make the same mistake,” he continued before standing up from the bench.

Jaemin follows quickly, standing up on his feet, looking at Dejun. Dejun looks at him, “Do you understand what I’m saying?” He says, trying to keep his voice from breaking.

Jaemin’s throat is dry, too overwhelmed by the things Dejun said. He did, of course understand that he shouldn’t hurt anyone again, but he couldn’t tell if the elder was trying to imply that he shouldn’t hurt Renjun.

Jaemin was silent one second too long before the elder interrupted his thoughts. “I’m saying— you can go.”

“Go ahead and do what your heart desires,” he finishes.

Jaemin finally links the pieces together, finally understanding what the elder had meant. He starts to move his foot, but hesitates a few seconds after, looking at the elder, wanting to ask if he’s going to be okay.

Dejun just nods at him as if he hears his thoughts. 

“Go— I’ll try to be okay,” he says softly.

He could hear Dejun’s voice breaking, but it was strong and straight forward— as if he was saying his goodbyes, and that Jaemin could leave him.

Jaemin nods at the elder, “Thank you,” he whispers loud enough so that Dejun could hear. 

He was about to walk back to the cafeteria when he recalls something. Instantly turning on his feet, he looked at the elder.

“What was your second question?” He asks him.

The elder just looked at him for a moment, as if he was pondering what to ask Jaemin when Dejun just chuckles.

“You don’t have to worry about it,” he says waving him off.

Jaemin’s mind hesitates before he says ‘goodbye’ as well before he makes his way back inside.

Dejun could see Jaemin’s fleeting form, could see his back disappearing before he lowered his head slightly.

“I already knew the answer,” he says to himself before looking back at Jaemin’s direction.

“Goodbye Jaemin.”

“I love you.”

—————

It was finally the night of the production, the night they have waited and prepared for, for months upon months. Kun had offered him to take on a very minor role— a backup dancer for one of the scenes, but Jaemin had declined politely, and was happy enough that he could help with the props.

It was a few minutes before the audience were requested to be seated, and Jaemin was there backstage, trying to encourage the membership.

He hears Chenle gasp, the younger near the curtains. “Oh my gosh, there are so many people!” He says, amazed at the number of the audience.

“Of course,” Kunhang had interrupted. “This is the first time our clubs had a collaboration together, that would surely get people’s attention.”

Chenle had nodded before facing Jeno's direction. “Hyung, are you nervous?” He asked the elder. Jeno almost chuckles at that, “It’s my first time as a lead role— of course I‘m nervous.”

Jaemin looks over before smiling at him, knowing how Jeno had worked hard for this moment. Realizes the fact that Jeno had to catch up, months worth of practices after Jaemin had quit.

He had felt a little guilty for letting Jeno carry all the burden, but he was happy for him, as Jeno rightfully and deservingly earned this role.

“You’re going to do great,” he says to him.

“Thanks.”

He then hears some of the members shouting, trying to get everyone’s attention to prepare and get to their spaces. 

Jaemin bids both Chenle and Jeno a quick goodbye before he makes his way to the audience. He tries to encourage everyone he saw along the way, trying to lift their spirits for the production.

As he was going out, he spotted a familiar figure by the corner of his eyes, before calling him.

“Renjun!”

The elder quickly spins on his feet towards Jaemin, quickly nearing him. He could see the elder smiling, probably excited to perform.

“Good luck,” he whispers, before smiling back at him.

Renjun crinkles his eyes at that, “thanks.”

Jaemin sees Renjun off, waving him goodbye, seeing Renjun’s fleeting figure, before making his way to the audience’s seat.

  
  


It was quite a weird moment for Jaemin, to be sitting at the audience chair, watching a musical production, when he has been standing over there on the stage, ever since high school.

It was a new experience for him.

But he didn’t regret it. In fact, he enjoyed the change for a moment, seeing his friends act and perform in front of him, instead of beside him, was thrilling.

He almost shouted at the dance and music number where most of the props he worked on were used, almost cheered at seeing the beautiful hand crafted props he made.

He was able to appreciate their hard work from a distance. He smiles softly when he sees Chenle spin, dance, and sing as Prince Edward. He could see the happiness in the younger’s eyes as he performed for everyone.

The younger’s hard work definitely paid off, earning dancing lessons from Jisung and vocal training from Dejun had definitely helped him be a more solid performer.

Dejun was included in the ballroom scene, as he inherited the solo role from Doyoung ultimately in the end. Jaemin still has goosebumps whenever he hears the elder sing.

He and the audience definitely feel the chills that travel from their spines to their skin as the elder pristinely hits the higher notes, and maintains on the higher register.

Seeing Jeno act was also a delight. He knew that the elder was already good. But he didn’t know he was  _ this  _ good, as he watched the scene before the ballroom fiasco.

He could see tha panic rise in Jeno’s face when Yeri’s character fainted from the poison. He could feel the emotion when Jeno announced:

“True love’s kiss— it’s the most powerful thing in the world,” Jaemin mimicked from his seat, and could feel him scared when Jeno followed, “don’t leave me,” before he kissed Yeri.

Even though the audience had expected the kiss to happen, it didn’t stop them from silently gasping. Jaemin could also hear himself take a breath, as Jeno kissed Yeri’s character desperately, almost pleading her to live once more.

The crowd as well as the dancers applauded in joy when Yeri’s character came alive.

Jaemin was the edge of his seat, waiting for  _ it  _ to happen. He saw the stage darken, lights of violet and shades of green, almost blinding the audience.

And when he blinks his eyes back on stage, he could see the magnificent and vicious looking dragon, staring back at the audience.

He almost wanted to shout at how amazing the dragon turned out to look. He almost applauded at the well-crafted beast gazing in front of him. Marveling at the fact that he and Renjun helped execute this masterpiece.

_ Renjun. _

He then snaps out of his thoughts when the elder comes into mind. He saw Renjun during the dance scenes a couple of times, it was a shame that he couldn’t gaze at him properly, almost always at the back during dance numbers.

He tries looking for the elder amidst the fire breathing and dragon battling fiasco mess in front of him. He doesn’t register the fact that the epic battle scene had ended before finally seeing Renjun for the ending dance montage the membership had planned.

He could now see Renjun properly, as he was situated nearly at the front. He could see his bright smile as he twirled with the other dancers across the stage.

He could see the glint on his eyes, as he was dancing gracefully during the wedding montage of Prince Eward and Nancy back in Andalasia.

The crowd gives them a standing ovation when every cast member, dancer and singer had all lined up in front of them. Each row raising their locked hands in success before bowing down.

He looked at Renjun raise his hands in glee, he could see him pant, yet there was this huge smile planted on his face before he bowed down.

Jaemin felt happy seeing the elder perform, seeing the elder on stage dancing, has felt happy and joyful ever since he saw him perform back at the concert.

Jaemin immediately runs to the back stage, wanting to see Renjun immediately.

He knew he enjoyed watching the elder perform in front of him, but he wanted more. He wanted to perform beside him, wanted to perform with him.

He wanted to be with him.

As he opens the door to the back stage, he quickly scans his eyes around the room, trying to find the elder. He hears Renjun’s voice, laughing and cheering by the end of the large room. 

He quickly turns his head in the direction of Renjun’s voice, sprinting toward him. 

“Renjun!” He calls, as he sees the elder talking to Sicheng. The elder immediately turns his head towards his, waving his hand at him.

He stopped in front of the elder, almost panting after running around. “You were amazing,” he said, still trying to catch his breath.

Renjun’s cheek flush at the compliment. “I wasn’t even at the front during most of the dances, I don’t know if people even saw me,” he says, trying to brush off the compliment.

“But I did,” Jaemin bravely answered.

“During every dance number, I looked for you,” he continued. “Even if you weren’t at the front I saw you, and you were the only one I looked at.”

“Jaemin,” he huffs out, his cheeks red, almost embarrassed at the fact that there are people around them,  _ almost. _

“And you are the only person I would like to look at,” Jaemin confesses. 

Renjun blinks at him, doesn’t know what to say at the taller’s words. Jaemin grabs his hand, carefully squeezing them tight. “Do you get what I’m saying?”

“I— I think?”

“I’m saying that, I want you beside me, hand in hand as we perform— I want you to be with me every step of the way, as we achieve our dreams.”

Jaemin looks Renjun straight in the eyes, feeling his heart pound continuously every after his confession. He clears his throat for one more confession.

“I want you.”

Renjun stays silent for a while, still staring at the taller, didn’t know how to respond to that.

Every second was torture, every second that he’s waiting for Renjun’s answer was hard. 

Jaemin almost had the mind to take back what he said, in fear that Renjun might have been overwhelmed, or worse— have moved on.

But thankfully, Renjun squeezes his hands back, snapping Jaemin out of his thoughts. He looked to the elder, seeing him bite at his lips before he parted his mouth.

“I’m scared— I’m scared at the fact that the things that happened between us in the past might happen again.” He confesses.

Jaemin could slowly feel his heart break at the elder’s words, could almost feel himself getting sick and fainting, lowering his head before hearing Renjun continue.

“But I’m willing to take a risk.”

Jaemin snaps his head back up, looking at Renjun right at the eye.

“I’m willing to take a risk— if you are,” the elder says once again.

Jaemin gulps, but nevertheless he still answered.

“I am.”

Jaemin could see Renjun smile, before it falters once again after a few seconds. 

Jaemin slowly grabs the elder’s shoulders, slowly pulling him into a hug. He caresses the elder’s hair before looking at his face, seeing the elder’s eyes water. 

“Hey now,” he said, trying to comfort the smaller in his arms. 

Renjun looks up to his face, eyes still red. “Are we going to be okay?”

Jaemin just nods at him, before proceeding to hug him tighter, tucking his head next to Renjun’s neck.

“We’ll be okay,” he whispers.

After a silent moment of them hugging, and trying to compose themselves, Jaemin backed up from the hug, looking at the elder’s eyes, gulping.

“Can I kiss you?”

Renjun smiled at him softly, nodding his head slowly.

“Yes, you can.”

He slowly reaches for Renjun’s face, carefully tilting his head upwards, smiling at him.

Jaemin leans in as he closes his eyes, as their lips finally met, no more guilt, no more fear.

_ We’re going to be okay, I promise. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS!!!! And with that, the fic is now over hehehe. I know some of you are a bit disappointed with how there are only little fluffy RenMin :[[[ 
> 
> I promise to add more fluffy scenes as stand alone one shots more in this series!!!
> 
> I hope I properly portrayed Renjun and Jaemin’s slow development :>>>
> 
> ANDDDD for my best boys Dejun and Jeno, don’t worry about them, they’re going to be fine ehehehe
> 
> Thank you for reading!!! I hope you enjoyed :]
> 
> Again, comments are very much appreciated


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